Monthly Archives: November 2005

My Crystal Ball Is Broken

There’s a good reason why I try not to make predictions about reality shows: I stink at it. Take, for example, my predictions for Survivor: Guatemala. I came close on a few of my predictions as to when individuals would be voted off, but mostly I failed. Granted, this was before the show started and Bobby Jon and Stephenie hadn’t been announced as contestants. As if that would really have made any difference.

Here’s how I did:

Order Kathy’s Pick Vote Results
1 Lydia Jim
2 Brian Morgan
3 Rafe Brianna
4 Jim Brooke
5 Jamie Blake
6 Margaret Brian
7 Morgan Margaret
8 Blake Amy
9 Brianna Brandon
10 Amy Bobby Jon

I didn’t expect the contestants to whack the beautiful people as quickly as they did. You couldn’t know from looking at her that Brianna didn’t have an athletic bone in her body. And the only reason Jim went first was because he was hurt. Now I feel a little shallow.

From my list, Jamie, Rafe, and Lydia are still around, and Lydia’s sure to make the Final Four. She’s not a threat so people will forget about her until the end. Jamie’s annoying everyone, speeding his departure. But Rafe could be around until the end, unless his conscience gets the best of him and makes him a liability.

I still won’t be surprised to see Cindy and Danni go far. Danni’s always been my pick to win, despite the numbers being stacked against her. She’s still performing well in challenges even though she’s looked like an animated skeleton from day one, so there’s no reason to think Danni will be sent back to the grave anytime soon.

Martha Doesn’t Fit Into NBC’s Plans

NBC announced today that The Apprentice: Martha would not be renewed for a second season. The announcement is not surprising, as Martha’s Apprentice continues to pull in low ratings.

It’s too bad that the show isn’t living up to the high expectations network execs had. The tasks are interesting, and the contestants make up one of the most normal casts of any reality show. Viewers can watch without feeling guilty about it later.

But that’s also what keeps people from tuning in. Devout haters of reality programming won’t give it a chance on principle, even though it’s a surprisingly family-friendly show. And many hardcore reality fans expect producers to cast a bunch of crazies who will make fools of themselves. Apart from manic Jim, most of the contestants on The Apprentice: Martha are level-headed individuals.

Each season of The Apprentice takes on the demeanor of its host. Donald Trump is eccentric and pompous, and contestants inevitably display some of their own eccentricities and pompousness. Martha Stewart is focused and calm, and, most of the time, so are her contestants. Calm and focused works well when you’re presenting recipes and decorating tips, not when you’re conducting a competitive reality show.

Even though the show won’t make it to a second season, Martha may wind up with a competent employee for her company. Dawna knows how to get the best out of her teammates, which makes her a good candidate for an executive position. Leslie is similarly qualified, although she may want to see if she can cash in as an on-air personality at QVC.

But Dawna and Leslie exemplify why Martha’s Apprentice couldn’t last. They are hard-working professionals who want to portray themselves in the best manner possible, and reality fans hate that. What good is reality TV without a Jim, Omarosa, or Stacie J. to make you feel normal?

Maybe ‘Dos’ Kilometers (Episode 8-6)

Tonight, the families of The Amazing Race 8 drove to International Destination Number 2: Costa Rica. It’s not as much fun driving from one country to another instead of flying, but at least they’re still outside the U.S.

The shrieking Godlewski sisters carried all of their belongings in a plastic bag after surviving last week’s non-elimination leg. Since they started this leg with no money, they were forced to beg at the hotel where they’d slept. Instead of cash, the gents at the hotel seemed more willing to offer sex to the four buxom blondes.

Teams had to decide whether to take advantage of the first of two Yield opportunities on the race. Well, only the Weavers really had a decision to make. Every other team was determined to yield the Weavers. D.J. Paolo reached the mat first, and the Florida team was forced to wait.

While they waited, the Weavers kept their spirits up by ridiculing other teams. They called the Paolos “retarded” and accused the Godlewskis of having breast implants. Then the Weavers talked about answering to “a higher authority,” and said the Yield wouldn’t get them down.

I have a feeling that their “higher authority” wouldn’t have approved of their nasty comments.

Meanwhile, the other teams were completing a Roadblock that required one team member to search a pile of coffee beans for the one bean that was painted red. Megan Linz finished quickly enough that her brothers named her an honorary Linz Boy. In effect, Megan had finally earned her balls.

The Paolos were hung up on their way to the next task as Brian tried to get directions from a drunken American with a Southern drawl. Brian was told to drive “maybe ‘dos’ kilometers,” leading D.J. to declare himself official direction-seeker from that point on. For the second week in a row, the Paolos finished in first place, earning each family member the choice of a Segway, Vespa, ATV, or jet ski. Just what we need, Marion Paolo rolling around the Bronx on a Segway.

Tammy Gaghan struggled to find the red bean, and the team never recovered. Carissa’s tears at the mat were heartbreaking, as was the uncomfortable look on the Costa Rican lady’s face as she stood next to Phil. The Gaghans were a great example of how a supportive family can really bring the best out of each member. It’s too bad the Widow Weaver didn’t have more time to learn from them.