SWM Seeks Crazy, Pretty Girl (Episode 11-3)

When will Stephenie’s pain end? Will she ever be a member of a winning tribe? If the first three episodes of Survivor: Guatemala are any indication, no. Not unless Mark Burnett suddenly feels the urge to make Survivor: All-Stars 2.

Demoralized after attending their first Tribal Council, the Yaxha tribe rallied behind Brian, architect of Morgan’s ouster. However, Brian’s self-congratulatory jubilation wasn’t enough to overcome his team’s lack of organization during the Reward Challenge. Despite leading early as blind-folded team members hunted for parts of a tent, Yaxha couldn’t work together when they actually had to assemble the tent. As the physically weaker team, they have to win this type of challenge to stand a chance.

Nakum returned to camp with the blankets, pillows and lanterns they’d won, only to have the men start muttering about Margaret. There must be something abrasive about her that doesn’t translate to television. Viewers have seen Margaret helping injured teammates and working around camp, but this is the second week in a row that we’ve heard complaints about her. Last week, she was criticized for spending too much time tending to Blake when he had trouble breathing. The stage is being set for Margaret to be voted off, but it would be nice if viewers could get a better sense of why.

At the Immunity Challenge, Yaxha was stomped in a game of Court Ball, a Mayan version of basketball in which a member of the losing team would lose his head. When Jeff failed to appear with an axe, it showed that the producers don’t really care about authenticity. Nakum was able to win easily, since apparently Brianna missed every day of gym class and has never played a sport in her life. Sentiment around camp was very negative towards her, and Stephenie referred to her dismissively as “a makeup artist.”

Jamie’s bitterness toward Brianna has temporarily made him my favorite castaway. He called her a girly-girl and told her to go back to the mall. Jamie proceeded to describe his ideal girl as “crazy and pretty,” and said that Brianna was neither. He was able to put into words what every basketball fan felt as they watched Brianna stand on the side as her teammates struggled: go back to the mall, makeup artist.