After the best Performance Episode of the season, the performances on tonight’s Rock Star: Supernova Elimination Episode had to be great, right? Wrong. And Ryan was finally given a reason for his perpetual frown.

Brooke
Burke introduced clips from last night’s show, including footage filmed
at the house afterward. The contestants toasted each other’s
performances and talked about the fact that, despite such a good night,
half of them would still end up in the Bottom Three.

Back in the
theater, Dave asked Storm why she’s disappointed that she hasn’t been
in the Bottom Three yet. She said she’s eager to rock any chance she
gets.

Then, Dave asked Magni about the InTouch photoshoot
earlier in the week, and Magni said he hated it. As Dave told Magni how
photoshoots are part of the business, Magni interrupted repeatedly.
Finally, Dave said this was his show and joked, “When I said I didn’t
have any influence over the votes, I lied, you son of a bitch!” Magni
waved and said, “Good-bye,” to the crowd.

Supernova then debuted another new song, this time with Lukas at the helm.

Lukas – “It’s On” by Supernova
This
was by far the best song that they’ve presented thus far, and by that I
mean that it was the least bad. Lukas did a great job, even if I
couldn’t make out a single word he sang. More than Toby or Dilana,
Lukas had enough swagger to seem like a part of the band, and not like
someone trying out for the gig. And he fits right in with fellow
shrimps Gilby and Jason.

As this weeks encore approached, Gilby
spilled the beans on next week’s clinic: he’s going to help each of the
remaining contestants write a new Supernova song. Then he asked Toby to
perform an encore of “Rebel Yell.”

Toby – “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol
Toby
changed up his performance by jumping on the contestants mini-stage
before following Tommy’s advice to Magni from the performance show:
heading to the back of the theater to hang out with those fans. Toby
rocked there for a while before hopping on and off of Supernova’s
stage. He sounded about the same as he did in his original performance,
which was good.

Brooke announced the early Bottom Three results
from last night: Ryan, Storm, and Lukas. Toby and Dilana also spent
time in the Bottom Three during the course of voting, and all five contestants were asked to stand. Apparently,
Magni’s international appeal for votes worked, as he was the only one
left sitting. Brooke pointed out that this was the first time in Rock
Star history that it’s been clear who received the most votes.

Forgetting
simple mathematics and the basic premise of the show, Dave said that no
one should’ve been in the bottom after the quality of last night’s
performances. Brooke countered by announcing this week’s Bottom Three.

Ryan – “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who
“I’m
here to blow your minds right now,” Ryan announced as he took the
stage. And then he did, but not in a good way. He went berserk,
screaming and spraying champagne onto the crowd before Toby stole the
bottle. Ryan wasted a bunch of time climbing a stack of amps, only to
jump off of them, screaming as though he were falling off a cliff. He
unintelligibly and tunelessly screamed the lyrics throughout his fit of
insanity.

If you like Ryan, this was hilariously great. If not, then this was unbearable. Supernova was not impressed.

Storm – “Helter Skelter” by The Beatles
She
cheered when her name was announced, joyously hugging Brooke. Storm
followed Ryan’s lead, screaming the entire song instead of singing it.
She tried to start a mosh pit in the audience before climbing onto
Supernova’s stage and sitting on Tommy’s lap. That one act was more
likely to save her than her performance, which was just as bad as
Ryan’s.

Dilana – “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads
The
crowd booed as she took the stage, some booing Dilana herself, but most
booing the fact that she was in the bottom three. Tommy said he
couldn’t understand what happened to put her there. Dilana said it was
because she’d screwed up, and then dedicated her song to herself. She
started the song a capella, which worked out brilliantly. But she threw
in some bizarre little vocalizations after each chorus and rearranged
the middle of the song. As a whole, it was a mess, and Jason, Tommy,
and Gilby looked confused.

Zayra may be off the show, but it
seemed like she was back in spirit tonight. Three heretofore solid
performers all stunk on the same night–an elimination night, no less.
The performances were bad enough to make Supernova’s song sound awesome
by comparison.

Gilby told Ryan he was great and has really grown
as a performer, warned Storm that she hasn’t grown enough, and told
Dilana that her performance came out of left field. His compliment to
Ryan was a dead giveaway that Ryan was doomed.

Tommy told Ryan
that he’s come farther than any other contestant in nine weeks, but
that he was out anyway. The crowd booed loud and long, and Storm looked
positively pissed. Dave said that he’s a fan of Ryan’s and that he’s
sorry to see Ryan go.

Ryan thanked Dave for his support, and
then became the bitterman that we know and love. He told Supernova that
they could’ve made twenty years of great music together, and that the
next place they’ll see him is on the Billboard charts as a solo artist.

Tommy
was stone faced after getting booed by the crowd and spanked by Ryan.
Each week, Tommy’s made it clear that he hates being the one to drop
the axe, but you have to wonder if the crowd reaction made him doubt
Supernova’s decision to boot Ryan.

Or maybe he was just fighting the urge to beat Ryan’s head like a crash cymbal.

Tonight’s Rock Star: Supernova Performance Episode was
Dilana’s chance to redeem herself for her poor conduct this past week,
and the producers made sure that viewers knew it.

Brooke Burke
introduced a package of clips from last week, followed by the fallout
at the mansion after the elimination show. A replay of Dilana smashing
the glass into the ground showed broken glass hitting Magni in the
cheek as well as the forehead. As Lukas pointed out, Magni was lucky he
wasn’t hit in the eye.

In the theater, Dave gave Dilana a chance
to explain herself. She said, “I love my friends and I’ll never do
anything to hurt them ever again.” It was nice to see her finally
apologize and admit what she’d done was hurtful.

Brooke
then announced that tonight is Fan Selection night, as each song had been bpicked for the singers by viewers. Dave encouraged the
contestants: “No Trainwrecks this week.” Fortunately for all of us, his
wish came true.

Lukas – “Lithium” by Nirvana
In
a pretaped, pre-song interview, Lukas said that he’s a regular guy who
likes video games, basketball, and beer. He just wears more makeup than
other regular guys.

He slowed down the song’s intro, with just
Paul accompanying him on piano, creating a very loungey feel. Paul
played piano throughout the rest of the song and Lukas added a
hesitation before the screaming chorus — a nice variation on the
original grunge version. Very seriously, Dave said, “You took a sacred
Nirvana song and rearranged it? … [pause for effect] … It was
awesome, dude!” Tommy, Gilby, and Jason were all smiles as well.

Magni – “I Alone” by Live
Magni
decided he’d need an international PR campaign to avoid the Bottom
Three this week. He urged Australians, Canadians, and Americans to vote
for him because he’s better looking than their representatives (Toby,
Lukas, and Ryan, respectively). He then pleaded for votes, saying, “I
learned your language. C’mon!”

Magni’s singing was
straightforward, but he mixed up his performance by strutting through
the audience and onto Supernova’s stage, where Tommy tried to grab his
butt. Tommy said he wished Magni would’ve continued all the way to the
back of the theater, but Magni pointed out that there’s no lighting
back there, and he wanted to make sure he looked good.

Ryan – “Clocks” by Coldplay
Ryan
started the song seated at a piano, where he struggled to hit some
early falsetto notes. But he soon kicked over his bench and jumped atop
the piano as the house band kicked in. Vocally, he aimed for something
a little heavier than Chris Martin, screaming the high notes instead of
cooing them, and it worked. After bounding around the stage, Ryan
returned to the piano near the end just so he could crawl back on top
of it.

Dave praised the excitement that Ryan brings to the
stage, and Gilby said he enjoyed the performance. Jason earned a round
of boos from the audience when he told Ryan that he looks uncomfortable
and “loses the plot” when he’s not behind a piano. As he usually is
after Ryan performs, Tommy was silent — which tells you everything you
need to know about Ryan’s chances at winning this thing.

Storm – “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence
When
Storm learned that this was her song earlier in the week, she panicked.
Her voice is much lower than the light, high register the song
requires. Like Ryan, she started slowly, her voice wavering as she sang
the opening verse. But once the first chorus hit, Storm could belt the
song out, and her tone added a nice depth and weight to the song. Toby
jumped onstage to offer some backing vocals, and did a good enough job
that he was at risk of stealing the performance.

Dave loved
everything about the song, but Gilby said the performance was
forgettable. Jason said that effort counts for everything, and Storm
brought it.

Toby – “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol
“Rebel
Yell” was a particularly appropriate song for a guy who takes out his
frustration by smashing cake into Ryan’s face and running around naked.
It’s the most Toby song imaginable, and he went all Toby on it,
throwing in one of his typical gimmicks. He dragged several juvenile
girls from the front row onstage, where they jumped and screamed. He
then made sure to hug all of them when the song was finished.

The
whole thing was a lot of fun, and Toby sang well. It didn’t hurt that
the house band was brilliant. Jim brought out his Flying-V guitar, and
Raphael’s wicked solos would put Billy Idol guitarist Steve “Top Gun
Theme” Stevens to shame. Supernova loved the whole experience.

Dilana – “Mother Mother” by Tracy Bonham
Dilana
earned some points for bringing out her own her own Flying-V.
Eventually, she dropped the guitar, climbed on an amp, and slung her
leg over bassist Sasha’s shoulder. She sounded very good — apart from
the chorus, when her voice sounded like a car trying to start on a cold
day in winter.

Dave said it was his favorite performance from both season’s of Rock Star,
and Gilby loved it, too. Referring to Dilana’s rough week, Tommy said
that he’s the king of mistakes, and the key for Dilana is not to make
the same ones twice.

Early Bottom Three:
Storm
Ryan
Lukas

My vote went to Toby, since his performance was the most fun.

It’s going to take an editing miracle to save Dilana’s reputation after this week’s Rock Star: Supernova Reality Episode.

At the mansion following the Elimination Episode where Dilana’s trash talking was revealed (oh, and Patrice was eliminated), the customary post-show dinner was uncomfortably silent. Storm tried to lighten the mood by toasting “Dilana’s first spanking.”

Dour Dilana wasn’t having it. She grumbled, “I don’t want to toast to it. I feel like everything I say is just taken the wrong way anyway.” Evidently, Dilana rationalized the events of that evening — and what she’d said to trigger those events — so that she, not the friends she’d publicly badmouthed, was the victim.

Ryan, who confessed that he wasn’t actually mad about it, summed up why it was in Dilana’s best interest to keep her negative opinions of others to herself: “What you say about me doesn’t affect me, it affects you.”

But Dilana was on a defensive roll that couldn’t be stopped by a pesky thing like reason, as was evident in an exchange she had with Lukas and Toby:

Dilana: “I was under the impression that it was a clinic, and I didn’t know if I was supposed to speak my mind…”

Lukas: “Life is a constant clinic, man. You shouldn’t change just ’cause it’s a clinic.”

Dilana: “That’s why I didn’t change, because I was being myself. I was being honest.”

Toby: “I don’t know which scares me more: you being honest about what you said, or what made you feel that way in the first place.”

Dilana ignored Toby’s comment, not telling him exactly why she thinks that he’s just along for the ride, and continued defending herself. “I’m just a person with flaws. I’m not perfect. I need to learn to speak without just being so straightforward and honest. I’m 34 years old and this is how I’ve been all my life.” She left the table as she started to cry.

What Dilana seems to be forgetting is that, if she was always speaking the negative things she was thinking, she would have no friends at all. If she’d told Magni in week two or three, “I don’t think you want this badly enough to leave your family in Iceland,” or Toby, “I think you’re just along for the ride,” they’d have no reason to be friends with her. Yet they are.

You earn friends by being nice. Every 34-year-old knows that. Heck, most 8-year-olds know that. It was only when Dilana got caught saying mean things that she resorted to the “I was just being honest” defense — which never works, by the way.

Dilana sat by the pool with Lukas, feeling “weak and vulnerable,” but not sorry. Magni approached her for a hug at the same time as cameras moved in for a closer shot. Dilana noticed the cameras and ran into the mansion, pushing Magni away and smashing a glass on the ground for dramatic effect.

A piece of broken glass bounced up and hit Magni in the forehead, leaving a bloody gash. Undaunted, Dilana stomped through the house, winding up in her bedroom where Storm held her as she wheezed sobs from her smoke-damaged lungs.

Ryan tended to Magni’s injury while the rest of the guys tried to make sense of Dilana’s self-destruction. Lukas wondered, “If you can’t handle the stress of this situation, how can you handle the stress of performing every day, or the stress of holding a band together? I would honestly be thinking about that if I were the band.”

Toby’s thoughts on Dilana were more in line with Dave Navarro’s “What the hell were you thinking?” comment from the elimination episode. “I don’t get it,” Toby said. “She’s had one of the sweetest rides here.”

The following day, the rockers took part in a photoshoot for InStyle magazine. Storm, Toby, and Lukas handled the situation just fine, jumping on couches and posing atop tables as if it were part of their daily routines.

Ryan and Magni had a harder time relaxing in front of the cameras. The photographer futilely tried to get Ryan to smile. And Magni struggled to display his rock prowess when not actually rocking. The photographer told him to scream, and when Magni did, the photographer clarified, “Without screaming.”

Dilana was depressed after the previous evening and wasn’t in a mood to cooperate, initially. When the photographer encouraged her to pose by asking, “Are you a rock star?” Dilana mumbled like a pouty teenager, “I don’t know. I’m trying to be.” Once she was told that she could stand up and do high kicks, Dilana was back to her old self.

Instead of the usual song selection, the rockers learned which songs the fans had voted for them to perform. Everyone got their wild card song, although not everyone was pleased by that. Ryan worried that his falsetto voice wouldn’t hold up for Coldplay’s “Clocks”.

Lukas had trouble working with the House Band on his song: “Lithium” by Nirvana. When they tried his arrangement, drummer Nate said, “It’s very un-Nirvana like.” Lukas revealed, “Well, I don’t like Nirvana.” Bandleader Paul said that he was much more confident rehearsing the song with Dilana earlier in the season, because she actually liked the song.

Speaking of Dilana, she was eager to redeem herself with a good performance of “Mother Mother” by Tracy Bonham. “I’m not a loser. I’m not a quitter. This horrific thing that happened to me is the best thing that could’ve happened to me.”

Were she honest, Dilana would have rephrased the “horrific thing that happened to me” as the “horrific thing that I brought upon myself.” Not once in the reality episode did she say that she was in the wrong, or even that she’d learned anything from all of this. And, from what we were shown, she didn’t even apologize to Magni for injuring him.

For their own sakes, the members of Supernova shouldn’t pick her. They’d have an easier time babysitting a drunk Toby or Lukas than coddling Dilana, who acknowledges having flaws but won’t take responsibility for them or try to fix them.

At this point in their careers, Tommy, Gilby, and Jason should choose someone whose company they can enjoy, who has a level of professionalism on par with their own, and who won’t give them head wounds. Dilana has shown through her own actions — and not just some trick of editing — that she lacks professionalism. And, at 34, it’s unlikely that she’s going to change anytime soon.

Did Dancing Cause Shanna’s Divorce?
Reportedly, Shanna Moakler’s soon-to-be ex-hubby, Travis Barker, objected to her participating in Dancing with the Stars, which may have been a reason the couple split up. Let’s hope she sticks around long enough to make it worth the divorce.

Early Progress Reports
Now
that they’ve started training, the new cast realizes just what they’ve
gotten themselves into. Here are links to interviews with Monique Coleman, Sara Evans, Tucker Carlson, and Joey Lawrence.

Lisa Rinna, Access Hollywood Correspondent
Lisa Rinna and Stacy London, fashion guru from TLC’s What Not to Wear, are Access Hollywood’s special correspondents for tonight’s Emmy Awards. Their reports from the red carpet will air on Monday’s episode of Access Hollywood.

Weekend Full of Dancing
No plans for Labor Day weekend? You can stay home and watch Tom Bergeron host eight hours of the annual Jerry Lewis Telethon. Or, if you live in the Irvine, California area, head to the Embassy Ball DanceSport Championships to watch former DWTS
pros Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya compete in the World Cup
Open Professional Latin category. Also competing at the Embassy Ball
are Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s younger brother, Valentin, and Abrea and
Averie DelGrosso — Ashly DelGrosso’s sisters.

In a single episode, Dilana went from the hero — and favorite — of Rock Star: Supernova
to its suddenly vulnerable arch-villain. All this on a night when she didn’t even perform.

Brooke Burke kicked off the show with clips of last night’s performances, which flowed into footage from right after the show.

During
dinner at the mansion, Dilana told Ryan, “Tonight, you would’ve been
nothing without the House Band.” She continued putting him down later,
telling Ryan that she’s getting more votes than him because she’s been
good since week one. Magni, who’d been sitting by the pool with Ryan,
told her they were growing as performers each week, while she keeps
doing the same thing. Ryan asked Dilana, “Are you out of ideas?”

Later,
the group looked over some Windows Live Spaces sites created by fans,
one of which suggested that Ryan and Dilana front Supernova together.
Dilana said, “Over my dead body.”

Back at the live footage, Dave
wasn’t happy that Dilana had ripped her fans’ ideas. She said that she
just doesn’t want to share the stage with anyone. Then Dave asked her,
“What would any of you be without the House Band? Are you a
little bit threatened by The Dark Horse (Ryan)?” Dilana coolly replied
that she wasn’t.

Ryan told Dilana that, as the front runner, it
looks bad when she speaks down to the people who trying to catch up to
her. For her own benefit, she should be more positive. Dilana pouted,
as she would for the rest of the show.

During the week, the
contestants rehearsed a new Supernova track with the band. The band
decided Toby was the best man for this song, and so they asked him to
perform with them.

Toby – “Be Yourself and Five Other Cliches” by Supernova
This
turned out to be more of a punishment than a prize for Toby. He sounded
awkward, but I think that it was the song’s fault and not his own. The
only interesting thing about the song was that it was probably the
first time in Jason’s career that he’s ever played something with a
swing beat.

I understand the kind of heavy pop music they’re
trying to make, but it’s just not working. Supernova would be better
off as a Butch Walker cover band.

After the lackluster
performance, Brooke introduced footage from the media clinic that had
been featured in this week’s reality episode. In it, Dilana talked
trash about Toby, Magni, and Lukas. When Lukas told the reporter that
Dilana should mind her own business, the studio audience cheered.

An
incredulous Dave asked Dilana, “What the hell are you thinking? You are
doing so well. You never bag on your peers like that.” Dilana said, in
regard to Lukas, that she was like a mother dove who wanted to take him
under her wing. Lukas interrupted, “I don’t need a dove. I don’t need a
wing.”

Dilana apologized to everyone, but then said, “I’m too
honest, I don’t know how to lie,” as if not answering the reporters
questions wasn’t an option. Lukas said he wasn’t surprised by Dilana’s
actions, and that he’s bigger than that. Dave warned them all to grow
thick skins, especially since whomever wins will always be known as the
singer who won a reality show.

Due to all of the bonus footage
— and to avoid giving Ryan yet another encore (especially for a song
better than Supernova’s) — nobody was asked to reprise a performance from the previous show. Instead, Brooke went striaght into announcing all of the eligible
candidates for this week’s Bottom Three: Patrice, Storm, Toby, and Magni.

Magni – “Fire” by Jimi Hendrix
Jason
shook his head in disbelief when he heard Magni had been un-voted into
the bottom three. But Jason perked up and sang the word, “Awe-some!”
when Magni announced his song. Apparently Magni’s recovered from the
flu, because his performance was sick–not him. He even strapped on a
guitar and joined in on the solos. Supernova made it obvious that Magni
was safe for another week as they cheered through his entire
performance.

Patrice – “Middle of the Road” by The Pretenders
Patrice
took an easy-to-sing, straightforward pop song and rearranged it,
making her voice sound like crap in the process. She sang — as she
often does — with the same near-monotone lilt that bad poets use when
reading at coffeehouse poetry slams. And she accidentally slammed the
mic into her grill and gave herself a bloody lip, which Magni
graciously let her wipe on his shirt. Even before the third performer
was announced, it was obvious Patrice was going home. And she
definitely did not go out on top.

Toby – “Plush” by Stone Temple Pilots
This
was the best thing Toby’s done in a while. He even got some bass in his
voice, for once. Hopefully, he can carry some momentum over into next
week. There was no way that Patrice was going to survive the night
anyway, but Toby’s solid performance ensured it.

Gilby was happy
that Patrice had gotten to share an original song with the world on
Performance Night, but he reminded her that this was her fourth trip to
the Bottom Three. He also warned Magni that this was the second week in
a row at the bottom for him. Then Gilby told Toby it was insane that
the audience had failed to keep him safe.

After taking the mic, Tommy hemmed and hawed and acted as if booting Patrice was
a hard decision. But even she knew it was coming, and after her name
was announced, she graciously thanked the band for what she said was
among the top experiences of her life.

While everyone said their
goodbyes to Patrice, Dilana stood apart from the group, her head
hanging down. Magni finally put a hand on her back, but it could be a
lonely week at the mansion for the (former?) frontrunner.

Comment on this episode. (Comment system courtesy of Blogger)

Finally, the first episode of Rock Star: Supernova where nobody totally
sucked. That’s not to say that some performers weren’t better than others, though.

As
always, Brooke Burke started the show by recapping events of the past
week. Despite being the primary focus of the reality episode, the media
clinic in which Dilana trashed her competitors in front of the press
was completely ignored. Hmmm… could the editors be protecting
Dilana’s image so that she stays in the competition until the end?

Instead,
Ryan and Patrice were shown winning the two original songs during song
selection. And Storm talked about not standing up for herself, as she’d
gotten stuck with the song nobody else wanted for the second week in a
row.

The evening’s guest judge, Gilby’s dog, Chopper, had very little to say.

Patrice – “Beautiful Thing” by Patrice Pike
The
song was pretty good — almost poppy enough to be memorable. But
Patrice sounded nervous and didn’t put much power into her voice. Dave
liked the song but thought that it would be better suited for her solo
career. Tommy was a little more optimistic and thought that they could
darken the song to make it work for Supernova.

Magni – “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana
Magni
was recovering from the flu, and you could hear it a bit during the
melodic parts of the song, when he puked. But he nailed the chorus,
belting out the best screams of the season. Gilby complimented Magni
for always conveying the emotion that the song demands. Fifteen years
after its release, I still have no idea what this song’s about — or
what emotions it demands — so I’ll have to take Gilby’s word for it.

Ryan – “Back of Your Car” by Ryan Star
This
song was better than anything that Supernova will put out, and Ryan’s
performance was excellent. When Dave asked how Ryan had suddenly turned
into a rock n’ roll machine, Ryan replied, “I got laid, Dave.” This
past week, I learned a lot about sex: it either turns you into a rock
star or it gets you envenomed by vipers in a 747’s bathroom. No wonder
our youth is so confused. Ryan stressed that he picked this song
because he thought it could be a Supernova track.

Storm – “Cryin'” by Aerosmith
She
did a great job on a tough song, and she even brought the crazy eyes
back! Dave said that she was a thousand times better than last week,
but Gilby told her to do something really memorable next time.

Dilana – “Every Breath You Take” by The Police
Bo-ring!
Supernova looked like they were trying to stay awake while she was
singing, although Gilby and Dave gave her reflexively positive reviews.
But then, instead of commenting on the performance with any specifics,
all the Supernova guys could talk about was her running around the pool
naked. I suppose Dilana’s willingness to doff her clothes is as good a
reason as any to pick her.

Toby – “Layla” by Eric Clapton
Toby
gave his typically competent vocal performance. Near the end of the
song, he took off his shirt and ran into the crowd — a smart move,
since he’s been getting by on his looks the whole time. The band liked
his energy, his pep, his zip, his zing, but they didn’t seem blown away
by the performance or the arrangement. If they need a backup singer,
Toby’s their guy, but he just doesn’t seem like the man to lead a band
of self-proclaimed rock legends.

Lukas – “All These Things That I Have Done” by The Killers
He
has so much charisma and stage presence that it’s unfortunate he hasn’t
tried to improve his voice. His growling not only makes his words
unintelligible, but it makes him sound perpetually out of breath. The
band was impressed, but noticed that he was turning his back on the
audience again, as he had when he forgot the words to “Celebrity Skin.”

Early Bottom Three:
Patrice
Storm
Toby

A
trip to the bottom might be just the ego blow Lukas needs to get him
back into voice lessons. While Dilana’s performance wasn’t her best,
there’s no way her fans will let her drop into the Bottom Three.

Ryan’s
had two of the last three encores, so Magni will probably get the
encore tomorrow night. Supernova can “reward” Ryan by letting him play
with them, while simultaneously avoiding direct comparisons between his
original song and theirs.

My vote went to Ryan. I know I keep
voting for him, but he’s given the best performances for the last
several weeks (not counting the unfortunate horse-hoodie incident).
Believe me, if I could, I’d still vote for Zayra.

If loose lips sink ships, then Dilana’s dinghy is sitting on the floor
of the Pacific right now. The fan (and band) favorite trashed her
fellow contestants in front of the media on the latest Rock Star: Supernova reality episode.

This
week’s music clinic was replaced by media boot camp. Several
journalists interviewed the rockers at the mansion, although someone on
the production staff mistook Mark Long (the 45-year-old who keeps
showing up on Real World/Road Rules Challenge) for a journalist.

While
most of the interviews were pretty tame, radio host Jamie White did her
best to rattle the rockers. She told Storm she shook hands like a man,
and then questioned Toby’s rock credibility because he didn’t have many
tattoos.

Toby defensively snapped back, “I have five. How many
have you got?” Reminding Toby of the one lesson he was supposed to
learn that day, Jamie said, “This isn’t about me. This is about you.”

Instead
of focusing on why she was right for the job, Dilana was relished the
opportunity to dish the dirt about her fellow mansion dwellers.
According to what Dilana told the interviewers:

• Toby is just along for the ride.
• Magni is too set on being near his family.
• Storm hated the lyrics to the Supernova track that Dilana performed last week.
• Ryan hated the music for that same track.
• Patrice shouldn’t even be here.
• Lukas needs to be strangled.

When
Lukas sat down for his interview with Jamie, she told him that people
said he was hard to deal with. Lukas fell for the bait and asked who’d
said that about him. When Jamie told him that it was Dilana, he said,
“Tell her to mind her own business.”

After hastily wrapping up
the interview (in part because Jamie told him he was being “a complete
dick”), Lukas found Ryan and complained about Dilana. In his opinion,
she’d crossed “the fine line between professional and punk.”

But
any kind of a showdown would have to wait, as the following day was
song selection. This week, two contestants would get to perform
original songs–an honor nearly everyone wanted. Storm suggested
settling the argument with fisticuffs, but Magni had a less violent
approach.

He proposed that Ryan get one of the originals since
he’d given it up to Zayra last week, and that Patrice get the other,
since she’s already been in the Bottom Three several times. The group
voted for Magni’s idea, and Storm put her boxing gloves away.

Picking
up the slack since Zayra’s departure, Storm took the song that no one
else wanted: “Cryin'” by Aerosmith. A practice session with Magni made
her feel more confident about her choice — so confident that she
straddled him for a hug as he sat on a deck chair. Magni asked an
obvious question…

Magni: “Is my wife going to be happy that you’re sitting on my lap with your breasts in my face?”
Storm: “I’m sitting on you like a brother.”
Magni: “I have two brothers, and that’s never happened before.”

Toby,
seeking payback for his naked run around the pool last week, fought
Dilana over “Every Breath You Take” by The Police, even though he
didn’t want the song at all. He set the same price as she did, so
Dilana got naked and ran her own lap of shame. Toby told her that,
naked, she resembles “a 12-year-old boy in a wig.”

Only after
she started practicing the song did Dilana realize that perhaps her
dignity was too high a price. Years of smoking have robbed her of her
falsetto range, rendering parts of the song nearly impossible. Toby and
Lukas went to investigate why the mansion’s pet dog was howling, only
to discover that it was Dilana practicing.

Unless she rearranges
the song, Dilana could have an onstage meltdown to rival Jordis’
horrific version of “Dream On” by Aerosmith last season. That marked
the end of Jordis’ reign as the likely winner, and the same thing could
happen to Dilana if she can’t make “Every Breath You Take” work.

Rehearsal
with the House Band showed Magni to be in similar vocal trouble as he
battled the flu. Toby sounded much better as he practiced his tune:
“Layla” by Eric Clapton. But the big hit of the night could be Ryan,
whose original song could steal the whole show.

Not bad for a guy who admitted in one of his media sessions that he prefers the magazines Teen and Vogue to Maxim.

The season premiere of Dancing with the Stars 3 is still weeks
away, but it’s never to early to predict a winner. Here’s a list of the
couples competing — and where I’d guess they are likely to finish. From
last place to first, they are…

11. Shanna Moakler and Jesse DeSoto
Strengths: Shanna has been in the press recently (for the breakup of her marriage to Blink 182’s Travis Barker).
Weaknesses: Shanna’s best known for an MTV reality show about her marriage and
the inevitable divorce that followed. Her partner, Jesse, is new to the
show and therefore isn’t bringing his own fan base with him.
How They Could Win: They can’t.

10. Tucker Carlson and Elena Grinenko
Strengths: People will tune in to see if Tucker wears one of his trademark bow ties. Hardcore DWTS fans already know Elena because she’s Tony Dovolani’s current professional partner and used to dance with Maksim Chmerkovskiy.
Weaknesses: Tucker’s conservative-bordering-on-caricature political views make
him a polarizing figure. That doesn’t doom him, since viewers
can’t vote against anyone, but it limits his pool of potential voters.
Plus, there may not be a huge crossover between the MSNBC and Reality TV fans.
How They Could Win: They can’t.

9. Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff
Strengths: It’s novel to put Slater from Saved By the Bell in a dance competition.
Weaknesses: Mario will split the teenage nostalgia vote with Joey Lawrence.
Karina is another newcomer to the show without a preexisting fan base.
How They Could Win: Kelly Kapowski and Mr. Belding start a nationwide grassroots campaign.

8. Jerry Springer and Kym Johnson
Strengths: It’s novel to put Jerry Springer in a dance competition. Kym is a previous winner of the Australian version of Dancing with the Stars.
Weaknesses: Jerry’s not as funny as previous DWTS older guys John O’Hurley and George Hamilton, so he won’t be able to joke his way around his aging joints.
How They Could Win: In a sane world, they can’t.

7. Joey Lawrence and Edyta Sliwinska
Strengths: Joey’s been in showbiz his entire life, so he’s surely had dance
training. Edyta spent last season working around George Hamilton’s
physical limitations, so this season she can go all out.
Weaknesses: The novelty of watching the guy who said, “Whoa!” on Blossom dance won’t keep Joey in the competition for long.
How They Could Win: Joey turns out to be a great dancer and a nice guy, and he takes the Drew Lachey road to the championship.

6. Monique Coleman and Louis van Amstel
Strengths: Monique is on High School Musical, so she can obviously dance. Everyone loves Louis, and he’s a fantastic choreographer.
Weaknesses: Monique has little name recognition with anyone who’s not a teenager.
How They Could Win: Monique dances perfectly and comes across as a real sweetheart in backstage interviews and practice clips.

5. Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke
Strengths: Emmitt’s one of the most well-known stars in the competition. Cheryl
is a star in her own right, and an Emmy-nominated choreographer to boot.
Weaknesses: Like previous DWTS
athletes Evander Holyfield and Jerry Rice, Emmitt may not be a natural
dancer. And he’s stockier than Jerry, so his moves may not look as
elegant or fluid.
How They Could Win: By dominating the popular vote.

4. Willa Ford and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Strengths:
Willa is young, blonde, and beautiful, which worked for Stacy Keibler
last season. Max knows how to create dances to best showcase his
partner, and he’ll really be able to ramp up the sex appeal, now that
he’s not partnered with someone who recently gave birth. Max’s rabid
fans will try to keep him around for longer than his sixth place finish
last season.
Weaknesses: Willa’s not one of the biggest stars on the show, and her appearances in Playboy and the Lingerie Bowl may not sit well with some viewers.
How They Could Win:
She dances beautifully and responds gracefully to negative criticism
(unlike Stacy), and Max continues to be the tough guy with a heart of
gold.

3. Sara Evans and Tony Dovolani
Strengths:
Sara’s a country music star, and there’s no shortage of rabid country music fans
in the U.S. Tony’s an international ballroom champion, and he’s got a
chip on his shoulder after finishing in third last season.
Weaknesses: Tony built up a lot of ill will by being snotty with the judges last season.
How They Could Win: Sara just may have enough fans to counter those viewers who refuse to vote for Tony.

2. Vivica A. Fox and Nick Kosovich
Strengths:
Vivica is the biggest mainstream star ever to appear on the show, and
she’s so excited to participate that she spilled the beans long before
the cast was officially announced. Nick is a super pro, and the two of
them will look fabulous together.
Weaknesses: Vivica’s extremely popular, but are her fans loyal enough to take her all the way to the top?
How They Could Win: Vivica’s popularity stays high and she dances her heart out.

1. Harry Hamlin and Ashly DelGrosso
Strengths:
Harry spent all last season on the sidelines as Lisa Rinna’s supportive
hubby, earning him plenty of goodwill with the show’s largely female
audience. It doesn’t hurt that he’s also really handsome. Ashly got a
raw deal when she got saddled with Master P as a partner, and there are
a lot of viewers eager to see her dance with a real contender.
Weaknesses:
We don’t know if Harry can actually dance. Fortunately for Harry,
viewers have the same question about every other contestant, as well.

Of course, these rankings are based on everything but
dancing ability, and then there’s the often unpredictable audience
vote. I’ll rerank the contestants following the first elimination show
— after we’ve actually seen them dance — and we’ll see just how off I
was. Joey Lawrence may dance off with the trophy after all. Whoa,
indeed.

The inevitable day finally arrived; Zayra was eliminated from Rock Star: Supernova. Believe it or not, her elimination was actually a shock. Why would Supernova boot scantily-clad, over-the-top Zayra instead of milquetoast soccer-mom Patrice?

Brooke Burke recapped last night’s performance show and then introduced new footage filmed at the mansion after the rockers returned. In the footage, Ryan, Toby, Magni, and Lukas worried that Storm might have enough fans to keep her out of the bottom three, even though Supernova hated her performance. Storm reviewed a video of her ill-received version of “I Will Survive” and felt that the band exaggerated how bad it was.

After the footage aired, Dave stood by his negative comments from the night before, but said that he knew that Storm might be the only one of the rockers emotionally strong enough to withstand such harsh criticism. Storm said that, while “I Will Survive” isn’t her favorite song, it’s somebody’s favorite song, so she just tried to do her best.

Instead of handing out the traditional encore, Supernova announced a special surprise. Earlier in the week, the rockers were given the lyrics and music for a new Supernova track. They rehearsed with the band in the studio, and Supernova picked their favorite singer from the rehearsals to perform live with them. For the remainder of the series, one of the rockers will perform a new song with Supernova each week.

Dilana won tonight’s Supernova performance, saving us from having to endure an encore of “Cat’s In the Cradle.” The track was called “Leave the Lights On.” It’s a catchy tune, reminiscent of “Bang a Gong (Get It On).” There were even slutty-looking dancers on stage, a staple at Motley Crue concerts. The dancers did a nice job distracting from how much Dilana’s raspy voice didn’t work with the song.

Then it was time for the traditional encore. Ryan got to reprise his creepy, cool version of “In the Air Tonight.” I think it’s safe to declare his voice the best, not that it’s any guarantee he’ll win the Supernova job. But it may win him a nice solo recording deal, which is probably what he’s really hoping for anyway.

When Brooke announced the contestants eligible for elimination, the early bottom three, Zayra, Patrice, and Toby, were joined by Magni and Storm. Dave said he was surprised that Magni was there, and, despite the fact that he didn’t like what Storm did, thought she sang well enough to have stayed out of the danger zone. This week’s final Bottom Three were as follows:

Zayra – “Razorblade” by Blue October
This was the first I’d ever heard of this song, and the first time for Supernova as well. It was crazy and intense and hard to listen to — kind of like Zayra in song form. It was a bad idea, because it wasn’t a rock tune, but I imagine it was Zayra’s way of saying ‘good-bye.’

Patrice – “Celebrity Skin” by Hole
Lukas forgot the lyrics when he performed this a few weeks ago, but he was still better than Patrice. She scooped up to every note and butchered the verses, screwing up a few words herself. She even stole Dilana’s move and went up on Supernova’s mini-stage. This did nothing but highlight Patrice’s total lack of originality.

Magni – “Creep” by Radiohead
The lyrics to “Creep” seemed to describe Magni’s Bottom Three debut: “What the hell am I doin’ here? I don’t belong here.” He proved his point further by showing Zayra and Patrice how to sing and perform a rock song.

Storm seemed angry and confused that Magni went into the Bottom Three instead of her. She was ready to rock. Fortunately, Magni was never in any danger of going home.

Gilby complimented Zayra on her willingness to take risks, but the axe fell on her anyway. Dave said she’s one of the most compelling performers from either season of the show, and that she’ll have a successful solo career. Jason promised he’d remain one of her biggest fans.

Next week’s performance show will air an hour later, at 10/9 c. Fans can now vote online for songs for an upcoming all-request show, choosing between three previously performed songs and a new “wild card” song for each rocker. It’s too bad we’ll never get to hear Zayra butcher her “wild card” song: “We Are the Champions (a.k.a. Somos los Campeones).”

In memory of Zayra, here is her final performance, which pretty much epitomizes her:

It was all or nothing on tonight’s performance episode of Rock Star:
Supernova. Ryan gave it his all, and Dave and Tommy wore next to
nothing.

Brooke Burke, dressed like a ’60s flight attendant,
introduced footage from the rockers’ trip to Vegas and their
contentious song selection. Yet again, Dave Navarro was disappointed
that only a handful of the contestants fought to play with Gilby Clarke
or to play an original song.

Brooke announced that the
contestants would be giving “stripped down” performances, accompanied
by a string quartet and the House Band on acoustic instruments. Dave
and Tommy Lee stopped listening once they heard Brooke say “stripped,”
and used the occasion to take off their shirts. During a commercial
break, producers forced them to cover up.

Zayra – “Lluvia de Mar” by Zayra Alvarez
Wearing
a black sequined bra and an enormous red hoop skirt — sans the actual
hoop — Zayra’s original song seemed especially well-suited for the
string quartet. However, it didn’t seem at all suited for Supernova.
It’s too bad, since it was a really pretty song. Tommy Lee liked that
the song had elements of Massive Attack, but admitted that it probably
wouldn’t work for the band. Gilby loved the song but wanted to Zayra
rock out next time.

Magni – “Starman” by David Bowie
Magni
is evidentally a Bowie fan. This is the second Bowie tune he’s
performed, and he dressed in a white suit, paying homage to the Thin
White Duke. If he doesn’t win this competition, he’s going to film an
Icelandic remake of Labyrinth. Magni’s performance was solid,
as always, and Gilby said the only thing Magni missed was an
opportunity to get the crowd to sing along. Magni may not have gotten
them to accompany him on this tune, but I know he could get a crowd to
help him sing, “The power of voodoo. Who do? You do. Do what? Remind me
of the babe.”

Patrice – “Message in a Bottle” by The Police
Patrice
is still on the show? To change up her performance, she added some
extensions to her hair. She gave a competent but uninspired performance
— her specialty. Gilby looked like he was struggling to stay awake.
Dave said that he knows she’s better than this performance.

Lukas – “Hero” by Chad Kroeger
Monsignor
Lukas sported a priest’s collar and rosary to go along with his mohawk.
He spent the entire song seated, playing guitar. He did a fine job, but
from the crowd’s reaction, I’m guessing it went over better live than
on TV.

Storm – “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor
This
is how I imagine Liza Minelli would perform this song. Storm certainly
didn’t half-ass it, including some drunken stumbling and growling. But
there was nothing she could do to save this song. The audience loved
it, but Supernova hated it. Tommy said it was “sauteed in wrong sauce,
and I want my money back.” Gilby gave the sound advice that everyone
should just pretend they’re already singing for Supernova when they
perform. That might be easier if Supernova didn’t assign the
contestants Gloria Gaynor songs.

Toby – “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel
Gilby
perched on top of a piano to play guitar. Toby’s voice doesn’t have
much gravity so it sounded disconnected from the rest of the song at
times. And then, he actually played the bongos. Dave said that it was
the best performance of the night, but it just seemed competent to me.

Ryan – “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins
Ryan
was wise to drop his fur hoodie in favor of a long black jacket.
Embracing the creepiness of the song, Ryan stood at the edge of the
stage and stared straight into the camera for the whole song. I walked
back and forth in front of the TV, and I swear his eyes followed me —
just like this century-old portrait of my husband’s
great-great-grandmother that his parents used to have. The song and
Ryan were basically a perfect match, and it was one of the best
performances of the season.

Dilana – “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin
This
was fine, but Dilana’s no Ugly Kid Joe. Dilana’s already shown that she
can make slow songs intense, so it would be nice if she did something
really rockin’ next week. But with the way she’s picked songs, expect
to hear her belting out “Seasons in the Sun” or “The Lady in Red.”
Supernova loved it, because they’re planning on having their concerts
consist of about ten straight covers of “Home Sweet Home” in a row.

The Early Bottom Three:
Patrice
Toby
Zayra

It’ll
be a shock if Storm doesn’t slip into the Bottom Three at some point,
and Magni and Lukas may join her there if people forget about their
performances.

I don’t know if there’s anything that Patrice can
do to save herself tomorrow night. My vote for the encore goes to Ryan.
I don’t know that there’s anything he could do to improve on his
performance, but I’d sure like to see him try.