Week 7: Reality Episode

Some of the rockers learned a hard lesson on this week’s Rock Star: Supernova reality episode: don’t get drunk in front of your potential employers.

As
promised on last week’s elimination episode, the remaining eight
contestants traveled to Las Vegas with Supernova. The private jet they
flew in was basically a bar with wings, allowing the impressionable
kids to lay the foundation of the following day’s massive hangover.

After
touring the stage at The Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel, where Supernova
will give its debut performance on New Year’s Eve, everyone went to
party in the penthouse suite. Complete with its own bowling lane, the
suite was the kind of place where all of the contestants aspire to puke
in the bathroom regularly.

While Dilana used the opportunity to
pitch Tommy Lee on why she’s right for the band, Lukas and Toby ignored
all good sense and got totally hammered. Jason Newsted was not happy
about having to babysit the drunken Toby. Mercifully, Toby and Lukas
were both passed out on the floor by 10:30 p.m.

The next day,
the rockers dragged themselves to their beds in the mansion to sleep
off their hangovers. Only Dilana was up and about, celebrating her
birthday by torturing her exhausted housemates. She poured water into a
sleeping Lukas’ bellybutton, stuck her finger in it, and then put her
finger into his mouth. She then lashed Toby’s legs together, although
he avenged himself later by shoving birthday cake in her face.

After
a long nap, Ryan wandered into the billard room and found this week’s
songs. A note informed the rockers that they would all be giving
unplugged performances, accompanied by the House Band.

This
time, Gilby Clarke was going to play on the Peter Gabriel song
“Solsbury Hill.” Toby was ready to fight for the song, and his unlikely
opponent was Dilana, who’d just performed with Gilby last week. She
agreed to give up the song only if Toby ran around the pool in the
nude, which he did, protesting against the unseasonable cold front
which moved in over the mountains and settled right around his genitals.

Storm
posited that Dilana staged the fight as a strategic move and didn’t
really even want the song. As when she schmoozed with Tommy in Vegas,
Dilana seems to be making every effort to secure herself the gig with
Supernova. The song Dilana ultimately got, “Cat’s in the Cradle,” was
better for her voice than “Solsbury Hill” anyway.

As the
Dilana/Toby battle ensued outside, Ryan and Zayra argued indoors over
which one of them would be the sole contestant allowed to perform an
original song this week. Zayra said that this might be her only chance
to perform an original song for Supernova, but Ryan wouldn’t relent.

Toby
finally suggested that Ryan’s best hope at staying out of the bottom
three was to completely own a legendary rock tune — specifically, “In
the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. After practicing the tune with Magni,
Ryan agreed that the moody song suited him perfectly, and he gave the
original song to Zayra.

Zayra’s original song is in Spanish,
which will only emphasize that her voice is that of a poor man’s
Shakira. And Toby’s victory over Dilana may not serve him well, either.
In rehearsal with Gilby and the House Band, he couldn’t nail down
“Solsbury Hill’s” odd rhythm signatures.

But the most doomed
rocker of all might be Storm. In a fit of insanity, she chose the
Gloria Gaynor disco hit, “I Will Survive.” It’s nearly impossible to
turn into a rock song, and Paul Merkovich and the rest of the House
Band struggled along with Storm as they tried to work out a viable
arrangement. If only they had the aid of the mansion’s resident
rearrangement superhero: Zayra!

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