Sara Evans saved her first public interview regarding her divorce for tonight’s episode of Dancing with the Stars. The interview ended the show on a somber note, after a night of high-energy dancing.

The
show began with a pro demonstration of all of the dances scheduled for
this episode, including the Tango, which Sara & Tony would’ve
danced. Because Louis is the only male professional dancer left in the
competition, Max and Tony lent their skills to the performance. With
four female pros left to match up with the three guys, Cheryl sat out
the demo — presumably because she spent most of the week training with
Emmitt in Texas.

Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff – Mambo
Mario
warned viewers, “Just because I’m Latin doesn’t mean that the Latin
dances come naturally to me.” To get in the spirit, Karina and Mario
went to a dance club with Eva Longoria. Over drinks, Eva slurred, “I
want to know why a Russian is teaching you Latin dances.” She and Mario
went off to dance, leaving Karina sitting at the table alone. Karina
was polite about being ditched, so I fumed on her behalf.

Making
use of all of their assets, Mario wore a sleeveless shirt and Karina
wore a low-cut dress. Mario took Carrie Ann’s advice and made his moves
less staccato than last week. It was a fun routine, full of spins.
Overall, it was more athletic than it was emotional.

Len told
Mario, “Parts of that were as good as you can dance. When you’re
dancing together, you don’t focus on each other.” Bruno was unabashedly
enthusiastic: “You’re a devil on that dance floor. Sinfully good.”
Carrie Ann said, “I noticed a difference at the beginning; you didn’t
clip your arms as much. You’re close to our professionals. That’s why I
nitpick you so much.”
Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…9, Bruno…10 = 28/30

Monique Coleman & Louis van Amstel – Samba
Monique
asked Louis if she could do a solo during their performance, assuming
that Louis would choreograph it for her. Louis agreed to the solo, but refused to choreograph it, instead
bringing in Tommy the Clown to help Monique come up with her own routine. Tommy’s the man who created
krumping, a form of freestyle dancing.

Monique opened the
dance by running out of the audience, sporting a short, curly
hairstyle and a pink outfit with things that looked like tentacles
hanging from the rear. Monique did her krump solo to the opening bars
of “ABC,” by the Jackson 5. The solo was so different from ballroom, it
just didn’t make sense. This was their most exciting performance, but
it didn’t scream Samba — although if Louis is just hoping to win over
the audience, it could work.

Carrie Ann said, “I’ve got to be
careful what I ask for, ’cause that energy was fantastic. I think it
was a little self-indulgent to do the solo at the beginning.” Len
directed his comments at Louis: “The first half had no Samba. The rest
of it was an absolute hodgepodge of peculiar stuff.” Bruno told
Monique, “Krumping is great in the right place at the right time, but
this is a Samba. You should’ve stuck to Louis’s instructions.” Louis mumbled a threat to show the judges just exactly where the Samba was.
Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…7, Bruno…7 = 23/30

Joey Lawrence & Edyta Sliwinska – Rumba
“I
don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Edyta said to Joey as they
practiced. “But we have to act like lovers. Now grab my head.” Because
that’s what lovers do. Joey and Edyta attempted to be sexy, but wound up laughing
throughout rehearsal. Joey ran the routine by his wife, Chandie, to make sure
she approved of it. She chided the couple for not being sexy enough.

Edyta
began the routine silhouetted on the stage, looking like she was
covered in nothing but a small, very strategically placed bedsheet.
Joey was at the foot of the stage with a microphone, lip-synching
“Father Figure” by George Michael, as one of the house band singers
performed the real vocals. Edyta got tangled in her bedsheet dress a few times, but apart from
that, they moved very well across the floor. Finally, Joey looked
relaxed as he danced. And if you’re going for sexy, having Edyta
half-naked pretty much takes care of that.

Bruno said, “I like a
little bit of dirty dancing. You could’ve gone a little bit dirtier for
my tastes.” Carrie Ann said, “I hated the beginning with the
microphone. But the dancing was a lot better this week.” And Len said,
“I thought that was right on the money.”
Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…8, Len…8, Bruno…8 = 24/30

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke – Jive
To
get in the mood for the fast kicking Jive, Cheryl brought in some
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders to inspire Emmitt. He did high kicks with
them, and they cheered, “Go Emmitt!” as he and Cheryl practiced.

So
that Emmitt didn’t become overwhelmed by the speed of the Jive, Cheryl
worked the fast parts into small chunks, with plenty of slower sections
in between. The mix of speeds worked, not interrupting the flow of the dance at all. I don’t
know that I’ve seen two more genuine in-dance smiles this season than
the ones Emmitt and Cheryl wore during this performance. Emmitt ended
the routine by sliding across the floor on his knees, and he came up
laughing.

Len told Emmitt, “You went off-time once. It’s not the
end of the earth…Well done.” Bruno said, “You
two create such joy, such energy.” Carrie Ann told Emmitt, “You had a
lot of mistakes. But every man who watches you says, ‘I want to dance
like that.'”
Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…8, Len…8, Bruno…9 = 25/30

Jerry Springer & Kym Johnson – Paso Doble
Apparently
having watched some other dancing show with some other Jerry last week,
Kym said, “Jerry was like a sexy tiger in the Samba.” Jerry was nervous
about this week’s Paso Doble, pointing out, “There are no 62-year-old
matadors.” The couple went to a Bloodless Bullfight, where
Jerry was easily defeated in the ring by a baby bull.

Jerry came
out in full matador regalia, wearing a hat and holding a guitar, which
he smashed on the steps. Putting a different spin on the Paso Doble,
Jerry shambled about like a matador afraid of the bull — and Kym was
the bull. (I thought the woman was supposed to be the cape, but who’s
afraid of a cape?) It was more a skit than a dance, and it ended in
Jerry falling to the ground in defeat. After the music stopped, Kym and
Tom dragged Jerry off of the floor.

The judges couldn’t even
look at Jerry without laughing. Gathering herself, Carrie Ann said,
“Entertainer you are, but it went a little too far.” Len said,
“Everyone here should congratulate Kym, because she does such a great
job. Jerry, I don’t think the world’s ready for your Paso Doble.” Bruno
said, “It’s been a perverse pleasure watching you every week,
butchering every dance. Tonight it was the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

While
waiting for his scores, Samantha asked Jerry if he was ready to learn
two new dances next week. “These are all such better dancers,” Jerry
said. “We’re having fun, but it’s painful”
Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…7, Len…6, Bruno…5 = 18/30

Group Disco
On
her way to rehearse the Disco routine, 22-year-old Cheryl said, “Emmitt
is gonna be great. This is his era.” Jerry arrived at practice wearing a white Saturday Night Fever
suit.

Since
the group was dancing to “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough,” by Michael
Jackson, Joey and Mario fought over who did the best Jacko impersonation. Mario had the moves down, and Joey had the voice.

Tony came back to help the couples work on their
lifts. When Cheryl described their lift — similar to the famous lift
at the end of Dirty Dancing — as “scary,” Emmitt said, “It’s not that scary.”

“It is for me!” Cheryl replied.

Emmitt
& Cheryl and Monique & Louis opened the routine with some nice
lifts. Then Jerry broke out some dance moves familiar to those of us
with marginal dancing skills: classics like the sprinkler and the
lasso, and something that involved him rolling on the floor. There was
a bit of miscommunication between Joey and Edyta, resulting in Edyta
administering a Chuck Norris-style roundhouse kick to Joey’s head.
Mario lifted Karina much more smoothly.

While the judges didn’t
score the routine, Len complimented Emmitt, Joey, and Mario on their
lifts. He told Monique she had great rhythm, and said, “Jerry’s
impression of Free Willy was absolutely fabulous.” At that precise moment, a killer whale flopped onto the floor and challenged Jerry to a dance off.

Sara Evans Interview
Tom
didn’t throw Sara any softballs, as he asked her if divorce proceedings
were already in the works when this season of DwtS started. Sara said that some
things were already in motion, but that “it was always my intention to
try [to work things out]. I’m completely against divorce.”

Sara
said that she received the report on the sexually explicit content found on her husband’s computer last Tuesday, just before dress
rehearsal. Her intent had been to finish the run of the show, but
“something traumatic” happened on Wednesday night after the Results
Show that made her fear for her children’s emotional welfare —
specifically that of her seven-year-old son. Tom observed, “Somehow
‘Mommy has to go disco dance’ might not have been the thing that he
needed to hear.”

Sara said, “I just needed to be right there to
look at my son at all times, to see the expression on his face, to see
if he’s crying. I just needed to take care of my children.”

While
she’s worried about the effect that the proliferation of details about
her divorce will have on her family, she appreciates the support she’s
been getting from fans and fellow entertainers. For right now, she’s
ready to go home “and just be a mom.”

As for her DwtS
experience, she said, “People were calling and voting for me and, for
whatever reason, they could identify with me. It is so humbling, and
I’ll never forget it.”

Sara promised she’d try to be back for the finale, along with
partner Tony. She joked that she and Tony have forged a strong friendship, “even though he’s
Albanian.”

Tony was understanding about having to leave the show
as a result of Sara’s decision. “If I was in her position, I’d do the
same thing,” he said. In a nice gesture (not to mention a smart move), Sara has asked Tony to choreograph her next tour.

Leaderboard
1 – Mario & Karina
2 – Emmitt & Cheryl
3 – Joey & Edyta
4 – Monique & Louis
5 – Jerry & Kym

I
split my votes this week between Joey & Edyta and Emmitt &
Cheryl. Their routines captured the spirit of their dances better than
the others.

Tomorrow night, Lionel Richie performs, and we find
out if tonight’s votes actually count, since it’s unlikely anyone will
be eliminated.