Cook Islands: Episode 14

Parvati got naked in a hot tub with Yul and Ozzy, and it still wasn’t
enough to save her. She was eliminated at the end of the penultimate episode of Survivor: Cook Islands.

episode began with a Reward Challenge that promised to be provocative
— Survivors writhed in a muddy pit and ran to a mat, where they rubbed
their skin and wrung out their hair to get a much mud as possible into
a bucket. The three survivors to collect the most mud won the reward.

the challenge actually transpired was less than provocative. As the
swimsuit-clad contestants squatted over their buckets and rubbed their
muddy bottoms, the image was more reminiscent of toilet activities than

As host Jeff Probst put it, it was “like watching bad performance art.”

rules of the challenge stipulated that contestants could not carry mud
in their hands or arms. Yul got creative and loaded mud in between his
shoulder blades. He transported a total of 22.5 pounds and finished in
third place.

Parvati was slightly more successful, piling mud into her cleavage. She finished with 24 pounds. (of mud, not cleavage)

by sheer force of will and superhuman mud-carrying ability, Ozzy
finished in first with 45 pounds. He had the honor of sending Adam to
Exile Island for his third cold, stormy stay of the season.

their reward, Ozzy, Parvati, and Yul were flown to an island spa for a
night of relaxation. The plane cabin was layered in plastic, as all the
reward winners were still caked in drying mud. Parvati’s head looled
from the weight of the dirt in her hair. And Ozzy looked like a clay
statue with white teeth.

On the island, the contestants showered, had their clothes washed, enjoyed massages, and feasted.

dinner, the storm knocked out power at the spa. That didn’t stop a band
and a group of hula-style dancers from performing for them.

also didn’t stop the Survivors from drinking. A lot. Parvati initiated
a threesome skinny dip in a hot tub, where she flirted strategically
with Ozzy. Ozzy dove around the tub, claiming he was imitating a
humpback whale. Parvati laughed and said, “I just peed in my pants —
and I’m not wearing any!”

When the gang returned to camp the
next day, Becky immediately pulled Yul aside for a conference. She and
Sundra were concerned about Ozzy’s totally lopsided victory at many of
the challenges, and she wondered if perhaps he should be the next
person voted out.

Yul shared some of their concerns, and
divulged the flirting between Ozzy and Parvati on the Reward trip. “I
definitely underestimated her,” said Yul.

Later, at the Immunity
Challenge, Parvati’s hair looked extra clean and shiny, especially when
the bedraggled Adam returned from Exile. The restful stay she, Yul, and
Ozzy had enjoyed at the spa had obvious benefits; the three of them
were the only people who even had a chance in the challenge. By the
end, nobody else was even close.

Survivors had to carry four
bundles of wooden puzzle pieces one-at-a-time across four ascending
balance beams. Once all for bundles had reached the other side, they
could be untied, and the pieces fit together to make a tabletop maze.

there, survivors had to maneuver two small balls through the maze —
avoiding occasional “decoy holes” — and the drop the balls through two
pits as the end. It was like an oversized version of the game Labyrinth.

Ozzy ran gracefully across the balance beams, his competitors fell off
into the sand on either side of him. Adam grumbled, “C’mon!” as he
futilely tried to get even one bundle of puzzle pieces across the
beams. Sundra fared no better. Of the Reward Challeng losers, only
Becky got any bundles over the beam.

Yul and Parvati both
managed to get all of their bundles across, but they still weren’t even
close to Ozzy. His Aitu pals offered half-hearted congratulations on
his third consecutive victory, as they realized that they might not
ever get another chance to vote him off.

Knowing either he or
Parvati would be voted out that night, Adam approached Yul at camp and
asked if it was him. Yul said that if Adam wanted to stay, he’d do what
he could to steer the vote toward Parvati.

Adam said he’d like
to stay, and only felt a little bad about offering his pal Parvati up
in his place. He mused, “If it’s benefiting me, I’m okay with it.”

also approached unofficial puppet master Yul about the evening’s vote.
He admitted that they considered a bigger threat than Adam in balance
and agility challenges, so she was some danger.

But things
looked up for Parvati when she was idly discussing strategy in the
shelter with Adam and Ozzy. As she and Adam debated whether to vote for
Sundra or Becky, Ozzy casually mentioned that he wouldn’t mind seeing
Sundra go.

Adam and Parvati immediately perked up, asking Ozzy
if he was seriously considering turning on his old tribemates. He said
probably not, as that could lose him their jury votes.

But Adam
cautioned that Ozzy’s current alliance would turn on him as soon as he
lost an Immunity Challenge. Ozzy admitted to having had the same

Yul also had the jury on his mind, and he brought
Jonathan’s hat with him to Tribal Council. Jonathan’s parting words had
been a request for the return of the hat he’d left at camp, and Yul
hoped the gesture might make up for his voting for Jonathan.

looked like the gesture worked, as Jonathan beamed upon his reunion
with his hat. Parvati suggested that, “Yul has been playing this game
to win votes from the beginning.”

After a discussion of the hat,
and whether Yul was just kissing up to the jury, Jeff steered the
conversation toward Adam. “You seem to be the biggest physical threat… on paper.”

Adam chuckled and told Jeff that he hasn’t
delivered because, “I’m just not all there, physically — and mentally
— anymore.” (Were you ever, Adam?)

Votes were cast, and they
split down the usual alliance lines, with Parvati earning four votes to
Sundra’s two. In her farewell confessional, Parvati said, “I could’ve
worked it more in the hot tub if I wanted to.”

Survivor: Cook Islands
wraps up on Sunday night, with two hours of competition, followed by an
hour-long reunion show. Jeff Probst promised three more Tribal Councils
(including the final face-off with the jury), which should make things
interesting, considering there are still five competitors left. Will
one of the Councils be a double-elimination, or will we have a final

My prediction is that Ozzy wins a car in a Reward
Challenge, becuse Ozzy wins every challenge. He then becomes the next
victim of the Survivor Car Curse, as Yul earns enough jury votes to win
in a landslide, regardless of whether he faces one or two competitors
at the end.