Ox Notes: March 26, 2007

You Will O-bey
On Wednesday, Oprah is scheduled to announce the next title for her book club. And since nobody knows how I should live my life better than Oprah, I solemnly swear to buy it, put it on the bookshelf, and pretend to have read it.

Sending Out An SOS
E! Online’s Kristin Veitch has begun her Save One Show campaign, where she helps readers in their efforts to save a single show from cancellation. Even if you have no plans to join the cause, the article has some good info on which shows are safe for next season, and which ones are on the bubble.

Mere weeks after giving birth, Tori Spelling is already planning to make herself unrecognizable to her child. According to the National Enquirer (who would never lie), Tori and her husband, Dean McDermott, are ready to enjoy regular botox sessions. And Tori’s got some other augmentations scheduled, too. Joe E. Tata must be rolling over in his deep fryer.

A Lot To Live Up To
Sadly, the time came this past Friday for Tara Conner to pass the Miss USA crown to a new queen, Tennessee’s Rachel Renee Smith. Miss Smith’s drunken/topless/drugged out/simulated sex photos should be online somewhere by the time I post this.

Congratulations. You’re The Ones That A Consistently Dwindling Viewing Audience Wanted
The winners of the Grease casting show, You’re the One That I Want, were revealed on Sunday’s finale. If you’re a fan of the show, you probably know that already. And if you’re not, you probably don’t care. Forget I ever wrote this.