TAR All-Stars: Episode 8

The first time Uchenna & Joyce ran The Amazing Race, they won because they were fortunate enough to get on a plane they probably should’ve missed. This time, they were eliminated when they weren’t able to catch a connection they were originally scheduled to make.

All of the teams left in the middle of the night for their next stop: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. There were three flights out of Krakow, Poland, all with connections in various parts of Europe.

Charla & Mirna booked tickets for a flight with multiple connections that arrived in Kuala Lumpur at 4:45 a.m. the following morning. Ozzy & Danny, Eric & Danielle, and Dustin & Kandice were on another flight, via Paris, due to arrive at 7:25 a.m.

Uchenna & Joyce took a chance on a flight that would get them to Kuala Lumpur in second place at 6:40 a.m. — provided they made their connection in Frankfurt. They knew they were pressing their luck, as they would have only fifteen minutes to get across the airport, even if their first flight was on time… which it wasn’t.

That was the last the audience would see of Uchenna & Joyce until the end of the episode.

Charla & Mirna arrived in Kuala Lumpur on schedule, and traveled by train and bus to the Batu Caves, where they found their next clue. It sent them back into a residential area of the city, where they had the opportunity to Yield another team.

The cousins did not use the Yield, but continued on to the Detour: Artistic Expression or Cookie Confection. In Artistic Expression, teams had to accurately recreate a batik print on a 45-foot long piece of cloth.

In Cookie Confection, teams had to sort through 600 boxes of cookies, biting into each cookie in each box to find the lone cookie with a black licorice center. Charla & Mirna chose this task, and as they chowed down, one local passerby cheered, "Go, Charla!" Apparently, the cousins are popular in Malaysia.

When the second planeload of racers arrived, they each took a separate route to the Caves. The Beauty Queens got there first, followed by Ozzy & Danny, and then Eric & Danielle.

Having no idea whether their plane had been first, last, or (as it turned out to be) in the middle, the Beauty Queens decided to use the Yield. Since they weren’t sure whether Charla & Mirna or Uchenna & Joyce had already arrived at the Yield, they figured their best bet was to choose one of the teams that had arrived on the same plane. They decided that Eric & Danielle were the bigger physical threats, and Yielded them.

The Beauty Queens went to the batik workshop, where they meticulously stamped their fabric before brushing on the dye. They received quite a shock when Charla & Mirna showed up and started stamping their own fabric. The cousins had wasted their several-hour lead by eating through nearly half of the boxes of cookies, before deciding to switch tasks.

Ozzy & Danny reached the Yield and Detour and decided to try their hands, er, mouths at the cookies. Danny misinterpreted the clue to mean that one box would be filled entirely with cookies with licorice-centers, so they only needed to bite into one representative cookie from each box.

Ozzy argued with him about his interpretation, and they decided to switch tasks. Then they decided to go back to the cookies. They quickly abandoned the cookies for good, and arrived to find Charla & Mirna stamping their fabric. The Beauty Queens had already finished.

Frustrated from their arguing, Ozzy & Danny made another mistake, improperly following their batik pattern. They had to start from scratch, giving Charla & Mirna enough time to finish and head to the next task.

Back at the Yield, Eric & Danielle arrived to find that they’d been forced to wait by the Beauty Queens. Eric (possibly trying to quote Anchorman) called the girls "dirty pirate hookers," and Danielle wondered why the Queens would want to "make enemies for no reason."

(It still amazes me that people treat getting Yielded like they’re victims of cheating. It’s been an official part of the race for over half the show’s history. And, because they thought they were in danger of elimination, it was decent strategy on the part of the Beauty Queens. You don’t want to get Yielded? Then be in first place when you reach the Yield marker!)

Eric & Danielle went on to try to the cookie task and were the only ones to successfully complete it. Even knowing now how difficult that task was, the power of cookies would still compel me to at least give it a try.

Teams then made their way to another residential area for a Roadblock. Malaysians normally sell their used newspapers to recyclers who travel the streets on bicycles with carts attached to the sides. One member of each team needed to collect a stack of newspapers that was eight hands high. Apparently, newspapers and horses use the same measurement system.

Kandice took on the task for the Beauty Queens, riding through the streets yelling, "Surat Khabar Lama" to announce her presence. One middle-aged gentleman assured her that she’d have no problem collecting enough newspaper: "The way you look, yeah."

Kandice finished her Roadblock as Charla & Mirna arrived. The Beauty Queens drove by taxi to the Pit Stop at the Carcosa Seri Negara mansion. Phil Keoghan looked excited to see the gals, knowing that the news that they were in first place would send the Beauty Queens into a screaming fit.

Phil’s news did, and they screamed even more when they were told they’d won a pair of retro scooters.

Meanwhile, Mirna was on the bike for the cousins, and Ozzy & Danny and Eric & Danielle arrived. Danielle took the bike for her team. Oswald & Danny were both exhausted from the heat, from flying, and from arguing over Detours earlier in the day. Danny looked totally gassed, but when Oswald asked him to do the task, he gamely agreed.

Mirna recruited some kids to help her push her newspaper-laden bike to the delivery site. She announced, "These are the future Charla’s and Mirna’s of the world." Then she told the kids, "Stay out of drugs, go to school, be a professional, and you’re in good shape."

The cousins drove to the Pit Stop and finished in second place.

Both Danny and Danielle rode around in the heat, each eventually returning with about half of the newspaper they needed. As Danny rode out for his second trip, he smiled and yelled to Ozzy, "I’m totally hating you! Hating you!"

Danielle bent one of her wheels on her second trip but still finished before Danny, who discovered that everyone in the neighborhood had already gotten rid of their newspaper. So he went to a convenience store and bought out their entire stock of the days newspapers — spending almost all of the team’s money on almost twice as many papers as he needed.

All of the teams had reached the Pit Stop by the time Uchenna & Joyce arrived in Kuala Lumpur. Their first clue, at the caves, instructed them to head directly to the Pit Stop. There, they were told that they’d been eliminated.

Next week, the Beauty Queens have a confrontation with Charla & Mirna. Because it’s their turn.