Super Bowl Alternatives

Sunday night TV is going to be dominated by Super Bowl XLII. But what if you’re not a football fan?

Fear not, TV viewers. Plenty of cable networks have scheduled marathons to compete with the Super Bowl, including some special halftime programming to run counter to Tom Petty’s performance.

Here’s a sampling of some of the marathons and other special programming set to run through the Super Bowl (all start times Eastern):

Puppy Bowl IV — Animal Planet, 3 p.m.
I find watching puppies running around on a miniature football field endlessly entertaining. That might not say much about my entertainment standards, but you’ve gotta admit that the Kitty Halftime Show is darn cute.

Death Wish — AMC, Noon
AMC runs all five of the Death Wish movies, back-to-back. Didn’t realize there were five of them, did you?

Spike the Ball Weekend — Spike, 2 p.m.
Spike interrupts footage of animals attacking people with a halftime show featuring competitive eaters chowing on hard-boiled eggs and ham.

Movies Women Want — TBS, 9:30 a.m.
I am not one of the women who wants to see the film Fools Rush In twice in one day.

Miss America Reality Check — TLC, 5 p.m.
All four episodes of the reality show about the Miss America pageant, followed by a rebroadcast of the pageant itself.

The Closer — TNT, Noon

Figure Skating — ESPN, 4:30 p.m.

World’s Strongest Man — ESPN 2, 6 p.m.

Mythbusters — Discovery, 9 a.m.

Law & Order SVU — USA, 11 a.m.

Law & Order Criminal Intent — Bravo, 6 p.m.

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew — VH1, 6:30 p.m.