On Dancing with the Stars, nice guys finish tenth.
The evening started out well for Steve Guttenberg. His Tango got the encore — not the one that he performed with Anna Trebunskaya, but the one he practiced with Anna’s husband, Jonathan Roberts. Steve & Jonathan danced what Tom Bergeron called a "Man-go," and it was easily the best encore in show history. (Skip to the 6:20 mark on the video below for the performance)
Steve & Jonathan’s encore was followed by the announcement of the first two couples who would be moving on to next week: Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark Ballas and Adam Carolla & Julianne Hough. The good news elicited a loud "yeah!" from Julianne.
Kylie Minogue was the evening’s special guest artist, and she sang her new single, "All I See."
Then it was time to hear from some of last night’s audience members. Sabrina Bryan called Priscilla Presley "beautiful," and Natasha Henstridge was annoyed with Len Goodman for criticizing Mario. Len, I saw her in Species, and I would not want to be on her bad side.
Another two couples were then told that they were safe: Priscilla Presley & Louis van Amstel and, surprisingly, Marissa Jaret Winokur & Tony Dovolani.
After a commercial, Samantha Harris chatted backstage with the four safe stars. Kristi and Priscilla, last night’s top scoring dancers, said they never feel confident due to the show’s unpredictability.
That prompted Adam to grab the mic from Samantha, and, with his arm around fellow low-scoring star Marissa, he directed his comments at Kristi and Priscilla. In mock outrage he yelled, "Cut the crap, ladies! You know you’re in the driver’s seat. Stop talking down to us!" The pro dancers could be seen laughing in the background, and Kristi jokingly assumed a boxer’s stance in preparation to fight Adam.
The jokes continued during a Dancing with the Stars April Fool’s bit about secret interests of the stars. The interview segment seemed plausible at first, as Jason Taylor spoke of his childhood hobby of building ships in bottles: "As I grew bigger, the ships got smaller."
But any pretense of reality went right out the window as Marlee Matlin talked about her volunteer work as police officer: "The fact that I am deaf is beneficial in this line of work. With no hearing, my sense of sight is keener. I even read lips in the dark."
The other pretend hobbies of the stars included Shannon Elizabeth’s duties as president of a MacGyver fan club, Kristi is a competitive eater, Priscilla runs a psychic hotline, Marissa surfs, Steve raps under the name "Guttemeister General," and Cristian de la Fuente trains his pet otter.
Guest dancers from the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater performed a routine that was good, but probably would’ve been better if seen from the studio audience.
Then Julianne and Mark danced a hip-hop influenced routine as Kylie Minogue performed her hit "Can’t Get You Out of My Head."
To kill time unnecessarily, a video clip featured a professional matchmaker rating all of the couples. She proclaimed Kristi & Mark the perfect match, even though she’s never seen them dance together.
As the show neared its end Jason & Edyta Sliwinska and Marlee & Fabian Sanchez, Cristian & Cheryl Burke, and Shannon & Derek Hough all learned that they’d earned a spot in next week’s show.
That left Steve & Anna on the chopping block with Mario & Karina Smirnoff, although the couples didn’t necessarily represent the Bottom Two vote-getters.
Steve & Anna were eliminated. Tom & Samantha cut Steve off in the middle of his goodbyes, which sucked given what a good sport Steve’s been all season. The departing duo danced their last dance to Fleetwood Mac’s "You Can Go Your Own Way."