DwtS 6: Results Show Finale

Kristi Yamaguchi broke the curse, becoming the first woman since Season One to win Dancing with the Stars.

Though I was happy with the outcome, I have to say that ABC should rethink its decision to make the final Results Show two hours long — ending a full hour later than regular Results Shows. There wasn’t nearly enough new material to warrant the extended length. And while ABC undoubtedly saw the extra time as an easy way to sell more ad time to sponsors, I saw every commercial break as an opportunity to do anything other than be held prisoner on my couch.

If it weren’t for the dedicated gabbers in the My Ox Is Broken chatroom, I don’t think I could’ve made it through the whole show.

Here were some of the highlights of an otherwise lackluster finale:

After a recap of last night’s final Performance Show, Usher performed his song "Love in This Club," accompanied by his own dancers.

Then, former contestants, like Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna, weighed in on who they thought would win the mirrorball trophy. The bit seemed a little off, since it was obviously filmed when the celebs gathered weeks ago for the 100th episode special.

The announcement of the third place couple was next. Cristian & Cheryl were eliminated, and Cheryl cried as she told Cristian, "I love you, and I’ll miss you and your family so much."

The duo immediately danced their Paso Doble, which was the routine they’d chosen to perform in front of the judges, had they made it into the top two. This performance wasn’t scored, though, and Cristian did a lot less yelling than he did the first time they performed it.

Then began an hour and a half of time-killing segments. All of the couples who competed this season returned to dance their favorite routines. The performances were interspersed with easy-to-ignore video segments about things that happened during the season.

Pro-Celeb Demos:
Penn Jillette & Kym Johnson — Cha Cha Cha
Monica Seles & Jonathan Roberts — Mambo
Steve Guttenberg & Anna Trebunskaya — Tango
Adam Carolla & Julianne Hough — Paso Doble

Upon finishing his performance, which did include the unicycle, Adam gave a stirring speech about DwtS as a microcosm of America, in which everyone is accepted, "gay, straight, and Guttenberg."

Following those performances, Brandon & Brittany were crowned the winners of the Ballroom Kids competition. Brandon’s dreams came true when three members of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders presented him with his own mini mirrorball trophy.

Pro-Celeb Demos:
Priscilla Presley & Louis van Amstel — Tango
Marlee Matlin & Fabian Sanchez — Mambo
Shannon Elizabeth & Derek Hough — Quickstep

When Tom Bergeron teased Shannon for being exhausted after every performance, she climbed on Tom, and he was forced to hold her up while she answered questions from Samantha Harris. After returning from another pointless video montage, Tom joked, "It was cute. After Shannon left, my wife called…with her lawyer."

Pro-Celeb Demos:
Mario & Karina – Cha Cha Cha
Marissa & Tony — Paso Doble

Usher and his dancers were joined by DwtS pros Karina, Kym, Derek, and Cheryl for a performance of his hit song, "Yeah."

With about 30 minutes left in the show, Kristi and Jason returned to the floor to give their final performances in front of the judges. The judges’ scores for these routines were added to the totals from the previous night.

Kristi & Mark — 1st Jive
Len told Kristi, "For me, you are the most consistent dancer, not only on this season, any season." Bruno said, "Another great achievement from the great achiever." Carrie Ann said "Together as a team, you guys set the standard for the season from day one."

Backstage with Samantha, Kristi cried as she thanked Mark for all of his help.

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

Jason & Edyta — Quickstep
Bruno said, "Jason & Edyta, I think the term ‘heavenly bodies’ has been coined for you." Carrie Ann said, "You are untouchable as far as grace goes." Len told Jason, "Kristi may be the judges’ champion. You’re the people’s champion."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

At long last, it was time to announce this season’s winners. Kristi & Mark were handed their mirrorball trophy, and then carried around the ballroom on the shoulders of their fellow competitors, as the band played James Brown’s "I Feel Good."