Ox Notes: April 13, 2009

If, like me, you’ve always wondered why the Dancing with the Stars Results Show is so darn long, it’s because ABC makes $205,000 for each 30-second commercial it sells during the show. That works out to $5 million an episode.

TV Guide has interviews with DwtS contestants Chuck Wicks and David Alan Grier. ET asked the contestants about their favorite things, with Family Guy being the generally acknowledged favorite TV show.

Has any network ever capitalized on a news story so quickly? Less than 24 hours after the dramatic rescue of an American freighter captain from Somali pirates, Spike announced a new series about U.S. Navy efforts to fight piracy in the Gulf of Aden.

Showtime decided not to pick up any of the four pilots it ordered.

In case you missed last night’s Rock of Love Bus finale, here’s what happened: Bret eliminated one skank and picked the other.

Note to my brother, Dan: Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi posed nude for the April 21 issue of Allure magazine. Mark your calendar accordingly.