Studios are preparing one final offer to present to SAG before ending negotiations with the actors union. SAG is reluctant to make any moves before AFTRA announces on July 8 whether its members have approved their new contract.

Jim Carrey is producing a new show for HBO starring one of my favorite comics, Lisa Lampanelli.

Several other noteworthy comedians have signed on for TBS’s revival of Match Game, including Sarah Silverman, Norm MacDonald, and Super Dave Osborne.

Reality show has-beens are getting a few more minutes of fame courtesy of two new shows in the works. Fox Reality Channel is producing Gimme My Reality Show!, in which notable contestants (e.g., Project Runway‘s Santino Rice) will compete in challenges. And VH1 is bringing back losers from the shows Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and I Love New York to compete for cash on a show called I Love Money.

Weekend dance party Soul Train is getting new owners who hope to expand the brand and reach a younger audience.

Next season, Smallville will introduce the villain Doomsday as a "charismatic paramedic," according to TV Guide. Wow, they’ve really run out of bad guys. Look for the charismatic paramedic to team up with a kindhearted florist and a humble baker in the season finale.

E! explains why stars insist on driving themselves, instead of just hiring drivers who won’t treat their vehicles like Bumper Cars.

Jason Taylor will guest star on Sesame Street when its new season kicks off on August 11.

Mario Lopez’s Broadway run in A Chorus Line has been cut short because a bigger star — Katie Holmes — needs the theater. According to the MSNBC report, Mario is pissed: "Let’s face it, he doesn’t have much going on right now."

Mario’s ex, Karina Smirnoff, is accepting resumes from "single, good guys" who would like to be her boyfriend, she told Us magazine.

It’s Half-Naked Guy Day at My Ox Is Broken!

I didn’t intend for today’s Ox Notes to have a theme. While thinking of ways to encourage MOIB readers to watch the Euro 2008 soccer tournament (tomorrow’s match between Turkey & Croatia should be great), I figured I’d write something like, "If you thought Jason Taylor was hot on Dancing with the Stars, check out Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal."

I noticed that all of the gossip mags are covering the release of the new Georgia Armani underwear ads featuring David Beckham. That fits in with the football theme, so nothing wrong with linking to pics of Becks in his skivvies.

And then, ExtraTV.com posted a photo of Mario Lopez’s centerfold spread for People magazine’s Hottest Bachelors issue. Mario’s completely naked, with only his hand covering Little Mario. It’s way more Slater than I ever wanted to see. Straight guys should not click on the link, unless "Gouge Own Eyes Out" was already on today’s To Do list.

With all of the attention he’s getting these days, you’d think someone would tell Mario Lopez to stop talking so much. He told The Insider that he wishes he would have dated Eva Longoria Parker before she got married.

Former Twin Peaks (and, less notably, Viva Laughlin) star Madchen Amick has been cast as the older woman interested in Nate on season two of Gossip Girl.

A new t-shirt featuring Andrew’s famous phrase, "I have a culinary boner," was revealed on last night’s Top Chef: Chicago Reunion. The shirt is available for purchase here.

Variety has an article about L.A. fashion designers featured on past seasons of Project Runway.

Last night’s episode of Countdown with Keith Olbermann featured a helpful explanation of why gas prices are so high. It all has to do with something known as the "Enron loophole," which you can safely assume is not good.

Finally, here are links to videos of performances on last night’s episode of So You Think You Can Dance: Comfort & Chris, Kherington & Twitch, Kourtni & Matt, Jessica & Will, Chelsie & Mark, Katee & Joshua, Courtney & Gev, Susie & Marquis, and Chelsea & Thayne.

Mario Lopez — who spent the last year cheating on Karina Smirnoff with a Hooters waitress who’s a member of the cast of I Survived a Japanese Game Show — is People’s Hottest Bachelor of 2008. The cad told People that he’s looking for a girl from a "modest sort of upbringing." I’m sure he’ll be ready to settle down as soon as he finds her.

The Top Chef: Chicago Reunion airs on Bravo tonight at 10 ET. After Elton has an interview with Lisa Fernandes, who sounds far less villainous than she appeared on the show.

TV Guide writer Carita Rizzo tried her hand at the stunts seen on Celebrity Circus.

Yahoo! has a list of musicians whose careers were resurrected by reality TV.

A Variety article explains the technicalities of what will happen after SAG’s contract with the studios expires on June 30.

The A.V. Club has a fascinating interview with Robert Smigel — who’s probably best known as the voice of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog — about the process of writing a comedy film.

This may only be of interest to my husband, brother, and brother-in-law, but the blog The House Next Door has an in-depth discussion of the movie Krull. And, yes, that really is Liam Neeson riding a fire mare in this scene from the movie.

If you’d like to completely ruin your productivity for the rest of the day, watch this webcam of a lioness and her cubs in their den at a zoo in Norway. "Adorable" doesn’t do these kitties justice.

Production of TV pilots and shows scheduled to return in the fall is slowing down,as it looks increasingly likely that actors will go on strike in the next few weeks.

MSNBC has a list of five celebrities who should consider retiring from reality TV.

Top Chef is going on tour.

In other Bravo show news, Heidi Klum makes nearly $1.6 million each year for her work on Project Runway.

Adam Carolla, late of Dancing with the Stars, will host NBC’s Americanized version of the U.K. hit Top Gear.

DwtS pro Karina Smirnoff teared up as she told E!’s Chelsea Handler about recently finding out that Mario Lopez spent the last year cheating on her with a Hooters waitress.

Julianne Hough spoke with Entertainment Tonight about life as a touring country musician.

Thanks to MOIB reader Deb, who found a video of Julianne’s bro, Derek, performing with Mark Ballas at "Dancing with Desire" on Thursday (here’s a video of Elena Grinenko & Tony Dovolani dancing at the same event). Fellow DwtS pro Fabian Sanchez sang lead vocals as Derek and Mark played "La Bamba," with accompaniment by Tony, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, and Jesse DeSoto. Enjoy!

Top Chef: Chicago winner Stephanie Izard has been besieged by interviewers since her victory. MSN, People, and the Chicago Tribune all interviewed the chef. The Trib also posted video of an online chat they did with Stephanie, who told the A.V. Club that contestants kill time in the "stew room" while the judges deliberate by "playing with the Gladware."

Fox has signed Jason Bateman to a one-year TV development deal.

Gossip Girl‘s Jenny Humphrey character may get her own spin-off series.

Mel B’s skimpy outfits on Dancing with the Stars no doubt prepared her for her new career as an underwear model.

NBC has moved up the premiere of its poorly cast Celebrity Family Feud to June 24 at 9 ET, putting it up against the debut of one of my most highly anticipated summer series, I Survived a Japanese Game Show. Raven-Symone versus Wayne Newton, or a game called "Chicken Butt Scramble" — the choice is obvious.

I Survived a Japanese Game Show should benefit from a lead in by another new game show premiering that night called Wipeout. If you’ve watched anything on ABC in the last month, you’ve probably seen the promos with contestants jumping onto giant red balls and falling helplessly into the mud. I am not exaggerating when I say that I laugh out loud every time I see one of the commercials.

Just in case you’re not familiar with the show, here’s a preview of ABC’s Wipeout:

I confess: I was planning on skipping this season of So You Think You Can Dance. I’m still a little burnt out from the unbearably long episodes of Dancing with the Stars 6, and I thought summer would be a nice time to do some reading. But I flipped through the channels last night and fell victim to SYTYCD‘s secret weapon: Mary Murphy. I’d forgotten how hilarious she is, and now I’m doomed.

In case you missed the show, here are links to videos of the performances: Susie & Marquis, Kourtni & Matt, Comfort & Chris, Chelsea & Thayne, Chelsie & Mark, Rayven & Jamie, Katee & Joshua, Jessica & Will, Courtney & Gev, and Kherington & Twitch.

I’m very happy with the results of the Top Chef: Chicago finale. BravoTV.com has a blog post about the finale by judge Ted Allen, as well as an interview with the winner.

Don’t forget, you can chat with Top Chef finalist Stephanie today at 1 p.m. CT, courtesy of the Chicago Tribune.

Even though he didn’t make it to the finale, Top Chef: Chicago‘s Spike is still a winner. His restaurant, Good Stuff Eatery, is scheduled to open in Washington D.C. by June 24.

Hoping to capitalize on the success of Top Chef, Bravo has two new food shows in the works, including Top Chef Junior and an untitled project starring celebrity chef Jean-Christophe Novelli.

The matchups for NBC’s Celebrity Family Feud have been announced, eliminating any desire I had to watch the show. Kathie Lee Gifford and family vs. Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman and family? That’s the best you could do, NBC?

Marlee Matlin is writing a book, set to be released some time in 2009.

The A.V. Club has an interview with the always hilarious host of The Soup, Joel McHale.

SAG president Alan Rosenberg told Variety that he doesn’t think the union will have a new contract in place before the current one expires on June 30.

Yahoo! has a well-considered Summer Viewing List of TV shows on DVD, including suggestions for further viewing: "If you like Arrested Development, also check out Curb Your Enthusiasm." The list is full of great shows, although I recommend skipping Wonderfalls, one of the "also check out" suggestions under the entry for the excellent Freaks & Geeks.

This isn’t TV news, but People has a video featuring the new lead singer of Journey — a guy from the Philippines that the band found on YouTube. The singer, Arnel Pineda, sounds exactly like Steve Perry.

I’m taking tomorrow off. Have a great weekend!

The Top Chef: Chicago finale airs tonight at 10 ET on Bravo. I’m rooting for Stephanie to win, and so is the rest of Chicago. She recently did an interview with the Chicago Tribune, and she will be video chatting with fans of the show at the newspaper’s website on Thursday at 1 p.m. CT. You can submit questions for the chef here.

Stephanie’s fellow Top Chef: Chicago contestant, Antonia, spoke with People about getting cut just shy of the finale.

The hosts of Top Chef are getting nearly as much press as the contestants. Salon has an interview with Tom Colicchio, and the Los Angeles Times interviewed Padma Lakshmi.

Frequent Top Chef guest judge Ted Allen will host Food Detectives on the Food Network. The new show — which sounds like a culinary version of Mythbusters — premieres on July 29 at 9 p.m. ET.

Foodies out there might be interested in this MSNBC article about up-and-coming Chicago chef Grant Achatz and his battle with tongue cancer.

Also on the tube tonight, the Top 20 dancers of So You Think You Can Dance 4 take the stage. OK! Magazine interviewed judge/producer Nigel Lythgoe, who says the breakers are the dancers to watch this season. Leave a comment below if you’d like me to open up the MOIB Chat Room during tonight’s show.

It’s a slow day for news about that other dance show, Dancing with the Stars. Mario Lopez was recently seen driving the Oscar Meyer wiener mobile, and Marissa Jaret Winokur still isn’t ready for the birth of her first child.

MSN had a neat article about TV’s Hall of Shame — shows that aired two episodes or less before getting canned. I wonder if The Mole will be added to that list; The Mole’s second episode lost 16% of its viewers, giving it an audience of 3.97 million.

Members of the Writers Guild joined SAG members at a solidarity rally yesterday, where speakers urged SAG members with dual membership in AFTRA to delay voting on AFTRA’s new contract with the studios. However, SAG’s own leadership is split over the new anti-AFTRA strategy.

I’m waiting to see if The Mole‘s ratings improved on last week’s dismal numbers. After watching last night’s new episode, I realized that part of the problem inherent in the format is that viewers have no way to predict who will be eliminated, nor any idea why the eliminated player was sent home. Reality Blurred suspects that unlikeable players like Paul might also keep viewers from investing in the show.

Reality Blurred also has a list of the reported cast members of Celebrity Rehab 2, which inexplicably includes police brutality victim Rodney King.

Brody Jenner of The Hills is looking to add a member to his entourage via an MTV "dating" show titled Bromance.

Speaking of MTV shows, Shane Sparks says his duties on America’s Best Dance Crew won’t keep him from participating in So You Think You Can Dance. Sparks is choreographing a group hip-hop number for the June 17th episode of SYTYCD.

The second season of America’s Best Dance Crew premiered on Saturday, featuring the Xtreme Dance Force — a group of guys who honed their craft on the mean streets of north Naperville (assuming that a street with a Gap Baby store on it can also be mean). Vote for the boyz from my ‘hood here.

Another SYTYCD choreographer, Tyce Diorio (whose real name is Keith), made his debut as a judge on last night’s premiere of TLC’s Master of Dance. The show, hosted by Dancing with the Stars vet Joey Lawrence, got a negative review from the Boston Herald. The first two half-hour episodes will rerun on Sunday night at 9 ET.

DwtS vet Stacy Keibler has joined the cast of ABC Family’s Samurai Girl. And DwtS pro Cheryl Burke is looking forward to taking her first vacation in three years.

Sharon Osbourne has reportedly signed on for the next edition of the U.K.’s Strictly Come Dancing.

Bill Moyers, host of the best news program on television, will appear on tonight’s episode of Countdown with Keith Olbermann (MSNBC, 8 ET) to talk about being ambushed recently by a producer for Fox News’ The O’Reilly Factor. Several news outlets were on hand to record the naive producer get politely, but decisively, owned by Moyers. It’s worth watching the below video just to see the producer slink off after having his ass handed to him in front of about a dozen reporters.

MOIB reader Amy alerted me to a news release from IMDb in which Cybill Shepherd is quoted as saying, "I love ballroom dancing. I’ve been offered Dancing With the Stars and I’d love to do it. I’m sure I could do it." Shepherd’s publicist has since told the New York Post, "She’s not going to do it."

DwtS 6 contestant Mario told BuddyTV that he wishes would’ve gotten more constructive criticism from Len Goodman, instead of comments designed "to get the crowd to laugh."

Even with the boost Dancing with the Stars has given to ballroom dancing’s popularity, it would still take at least 12 years before ballroom dancing could become an Olympic sport.

The Chinese government is backtracking on promises it made to the International Olympic Committee, leading to headaches for the international networks and news outlets planning to broadcast from Beijing. The government has imposed strict new security measures, delaying shipments of camera equipment and adding mountains of paperwork just weeks before TV crews need to be in place for the August Games.

People.com posted a list of the So You Think You Can Dance 4 Top Twenty, along with a few of the more colorful dancers who didn’t make the cut.

Patrick Swayze will continue with his cancer treatment as he films the new series The Beast for A&E.

Rather than focus on fighting with the studios during contract negotiations, SAG picked a fight with AFTRA, urging the 40,000 actors with dual membership to delay approval of AFTRA’s contract with the studios.

The winner of the third season of The Next Food Network Star, Amy Finley, opted not to renew her contract with the Food Network after only six episodes, in part because bloggers were mean to her. Amy, I’m sure those bloggers will have a whole new respect for you now that you’ve decided to quit, effectively undermining the whole premise of the show right as a new season begins.

According to Jeff Probst, there have already been some production problems on the set of Survivor: Gabon. A shipping container filled with $100,000 worth of food went missing, and the crew may have set up camp in a hippo’s territory.

The Chicago Tribune’s Maureen Ryan interviewed Tim Gunn about the two upcoming seasons of Project Runway.

Writer Joel Stein spent a day running errands with Jason Bateman for a cover story for Best Life Magazine. The piece is hilarious, and a must-read for Arrested Development fans.

I don’t know why I find this so amusing, but Jackie Chan owns a Segway dealership in Hong Kong.

Dancing with the Stars 6 contestants Marlee Matlin & Fabian Sanchez stopped by the International Center on Deafness and the Arts to teach some dance moves to students. Matlin made her stage debut in the 1980s as Dorothy in the center’s production of The Wizard of Oz.

Fellow DwtSers Cristian de la Fuente & Cheryl Burke stopped by Disneyland to pose for publicity photos while wearing Indiana Jones hats.

Karina Smirnoff told OK! Magazine that she and Mario Lopez have officially broken up.

A couple of weeks after being eliminated from DwtS 6, Shannon Elizabeth & Derek Hough filmed a spoof-version of a Fox Trot, pretending as though they didn’t realize they’d been voted off of the show. It’s an amusing way to kick off the weekend. Enjoy!