This week, the La Mina tribe resumed its losing ways, falling to Casaya in a combination Reward/Immunity Challenge. Sally, as the last woman on La Mina, was the tribe’s obvious choice for elimination. But Casaya spared her when they sent her to Exile Island instead of Tribal Council. Dan, master of the fire at camp, was the weakest of the La Mina men, so the others chose him as the sixth person voted out of Survivor: Panama – Exile Island.

The night before the challenge, Casaya bickered about the fractured vote at the previous Tribal Council, which ultimately sent Bobby home. Most of the team lay in the shelter: Shane on one side, Danielle and Cirie cuddling with Aras in the middle, and Bruce next to them. Shane told Danielle she was stupid to have kept Bruce instead of Bobby. Bruce lay sleeping (or pretending to sleep) only feet away from Shane.

Danielle tried to convince Shane to save the argument for the morning, but he persisted. He said that he wanted out of his alliance with Danielle and Courtney, and asked that they let him out of a promise he’d made on his son’s name. Aras and Cirie listened in, but said nothing.

Courtney had spent the night on the beach, so Cirie eagerly filled her in on what Shane had said in the shelter. Danielle came over, and she and Courtney decided that Shane should be the next person voted out. Cirie solemnly consented to vote with them.

In an interview, Cirie let loose giggles she’d withheld from Danielle and Courtney when agreeing with their plan. She was ecstatic about the rift in the Casaya alliance, and proud of the quiet role she was playing in causing that rift. She knew that the more they turned against each other, the further she’d be able to advance in the game.

Later that morning, Shane approached Danielle and Courtney about terminating their alliance. Danielle was quick to agree, but Courtney wanted to give Shane a piece of her mind first. “You don’t even realize how mean you are,” she told him. When suffering nicotine withdrawal, Shane probably doesn’t realize where he is most of the time, let alone how mean he’s acting.

Aras talked with Shane about his actions, and Shane realized that he’d probably made a huge mistake by angering Courtney and Danielle. Still, he didn’t regret his decision. He called Danielle a “meatball,” and said he thought even less of Courtney. In Shane’s world, Courtney ranks sub-meatball.

Aras was secretly pleased at the dissolution of his alliance. Shane was a loose cannon, and Aras felt he’d be in a better position without Shane to worry about.

Unlike Casaya, the members of La Mina were still getting along. Sally knew she wouldn’t be able to break up the boys club, but she had other problems to worry about. Their camp was running perilously low on food, so they had resorted to catching minnows and eating them raw.

While fishing with Nick, Dan revealed that he’d been an astronaut, and not just an engineer at NASA. They told Austin when they returned to camp, and he shouted, “Dan Fuego is a stud!” Author Austin then confessed his own secret: “My real name is John Grisham.”

That afternoon, both tribes received Tree Mail summoning them to a challenge. As usual, the winners of the episode’s first challenge would get a reward and the opportunity to send one of the losers to Exile Island. However, the Reward Challenge was the episode’s only challenge, making it an Immunity Challenge, as well. The losers would face Tribal Council that night, leaving the exiled tribe member immune from the vote.

There were two parts to the challenge. First, three members of each tribe ran one at a time along a zig-zag path to retrieve four puzzle pieces–each skull-shaped, but non-identical. The pieces were large, heavy, and tied to frames about 100 meters from the starting mat.

As soon as a tribe had all four pieces on the mat, the two remaining tribe members would position them on a puzzle board. There were already nine pieces attached to the board, between which the skull pieces fit. However, the puzzle-solvers needed to figure out not only which skull pieces went in where, but also which way to rotate the pre-attached pieces so that those four new pieces fit. Once the first of the four new pieces was in place, the rotations of the other pieces would become more obvious, and it would be easy to complete the challenge.

Shane was the first member to fetch a puzzle piece for Casaya, but he struggled to untie the knots holding his piece in place. Aras and Danielle had an easier time, as did Shane when he untied the tribe’s fourth puzzle piece. But, by then, Shane’s early problems had allowed Terry, Austin, and Nick to give La Mina a substantial head start on assembling the puzzle.

La Mina watched their lead evaporate as Sally and Dan floundered with the puzzle. Bruce and Cirie (Courtney sat out of the challenge) quickly figured out where to put their first piece, and they finished their puzzle before Sally and Dan got a single piece into place.

Fully aware that Sally was slotted as next to go, Casaya sent her to Exile Island. They then took off for their reward, a barbecue in a nearby fishing village. Jeff Probst gave them hula hoops, soccer balls, and a piñata as gifts for the children in the village.

Casaya feasted on chicken, soup, and soda pop. And they danced and played games with the kids. But Shane got what he’d really desired from day one: a cigarette. As he sucked the thing down to its filter, he admitted, “This is probably a really bad decision.”

The resulting buzz was strong enough to make Shane realize that cigarettes are a real drug. Fifteen days of withdrawal-induced mood swings should’ve been clue enough.

Cirie enjoyed the food and watching the children play, but she said she might have preferred if Casaya had lost the challenge. The reward gave Shane an opportunity to apologize to Danielle, leaving Bruce as the only buffer between Cirie and elimination, should her tribe lose immunity a couple more times.

At La Mina, the mood was somber, as the boys club had to decide which of them would go home that night. Austin explained to Terry that Dan was physically too weak to last in the game. Terry told Nick and Austin that, despite his friendship with Dan, he knew what had to be done.

Terry told Dan his decision before Tribal Council. Dan felt that he and Sally had lost the challenge for La Mina, so he understood why he was selected to be voted out. He knew Terry had to act in his own self-interest, but Dan secretly hoped Terry would realign with him and vote for Austin, forcing a tie that would be settled with a challenge.

At Tribal Council, the men acknowledged that Sally was their original target, and that it was a smart strategic move by Casaya to send her to Exile Island. Dan told Jeff Probst that he knew he was going to be voted out, but that he would’ve preferred the vote be divided between him and Austin.

Out of respect for Dan, they proceeded with the vote. Dan cast the lone vote for Austin, while Nick, Austin, and Terry all voted for “Dan Fuego.” In his farewell confessional, Dan thanked his family for letting him go on another adventure.

Although Dan managed to stay on the ground for this adventure, his family provided the most out there “Febreze Survivor Family Moment” yet. His teenaged kids pointed at a machine on the coffee table and said, “The robot is moping without you!” Those kids get beat up at school every day.

Next week’s Survivor is a special clip show on Wednesday night, with footage of Casaya eating a snake. Poor Cirie; she thought sushi was weird. New episodes return in three weeks, when one of the Survivors is ferried away in a “medical emergency.” I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t involve Shane and a straitjacket.

Cheryl Burke has had hardly a day off in months. Eight straight weeks of training and performing with singer Drew Lachey led the couple to a championship on the second season of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars. And since then, Cheryl’s life has been a string of interviews and appearances.

She has no desire to see it end.

“Most of the publicity is done,” Cheryl, 21, said in a phone interview late last week, days after winning the competition. “I’m still doing some radio interviews and spur of the moment stuff. But I hope there’s even more!”

Cheryl’s Dancing with the Stars whirlwind almost started a year ago. Before the first season, her name came up as a possibility for the show. But, at the time, Cheryl wanted to concentrate on her burgeoning professional career. “I competed about twice each month, and it takes year-round preparation for four to eight hours a day.”

Cheryl was then living in New York City, to which she’d moved from her native California after turning 18. “New York is the place to be for serious competitors. The European coaches go there.”

Finding the right coach can be essential. While most professional dancers do the bulk of their own choreography, coaches can help perfect routines, turning a good dance into a first place dance. “I try to find coaches who deal with the styles I like to dance,” Cheryl said. “I don’t train with more than two coaches at a time. It’s easier to keep things straight.”

Dancers also often seek simplicity and consistency when choreographing their performances. “I used the same routine for two years. You might add or subtract something, but the basic routine stays the same.”

Though she’d spent the last two years of her life performing variations on the same routine, Cheryl was about to find herself choreographing at least one new dance every week.

In August, ABC’s interest in Cheryl was rekindled when some network scouts spotted her at a professional competition in Southern California. Between then and November, ABC conducted interviews with Cheryl and other dancers.

The network offered Cheryl a slot on Dancing with the Stars and paired her with former 98 Degrees singer Drew Lachey. The timing was perfect for Cheryl, as she was tiring of New York and had decided to part ways with her professional partner.

Cheryl’s transition from the world of pro competition to Dancing with the Stars was made easier because of some familiar faces: the show’s other professional dancers. “We all knew each other beforehand. Ballroom dancing is a small world.”

Prior to being cast, Cheryl had experience going up against (and defeating) some of her TV competition. At last April’s San Francisco Open, she won the International Latin event, edging out Dancing with the Stars pros Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya. In that same competition, first-season DwtS winner Alec Mazo and his professional partner, show regular Edyta Sliwinska, placed fourth.

Cheryl said she has a good relationship with the other pros from the show, like Tia Carrere’s partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy. “Max is one of nicest guys I know. He’s hard-working and likes to compete. It was a shame he went out so early.”

The familiarity and friendship between pros also helped them quickly assemble exhibition routines and demonstration dances. The pros collaborated on the choreography for the exhibitions and demos, though one usually oversaw the final product. “We’re all pros, so our dances with each other weren’t difficult. We spent about three hours over two days working on each exhibition routine.”

“But working with our celebrities was the priority.”

Training a non-dancer on a tight schedule was challenge enough for the professionals. But there was one area in which the celebrities were the experts: exposure. On Dancing with the Stars, Cheryl performed before a much larger audience than she’d ever dreamed she would.

“In the beginning, I thought I would be so nervous. But when I perform, I perform for whoever is in front of me. When I actually went onstage, I focused on the audience that was there. I performed for them, instead of letting myself realize in the back of my mind that there were 27 million people watching.”

Cheryl kept her nerves in check all season, and over the two-episode finale, she and Drew earned the best scores from the show’s judges. In what was probably the season’s most entertaining dance, the two performed a freestyle to Big and Rich’s “Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy).” The freestyle was the only dance of the competition for which there were no restrictions or required elements. And, for once, the team wasn’t at the mercy of the show’s music director. “We got to pick the music for it, too.”

Even though the couple won the final judges’ vote, they still needed support from the home viewers in order to help them defeat former NFL great Jerry Rice in the final standings. Going into this season, Rice had the largest built-in fan base of any of the celebrities. By comparison, Drew and Cheryl had to earn their votes largely from scratch.

Over the season, Cheryl and Drew became one of the show’s most popular couples. But, until after the final show ended, they never knew how the public felt about them. Cheryl thought she might be one of the season’s villains, so she resisted any temptations to peek at Internet message boards. “I tried to avoid them, because some of them might not be very nice.”

She had nothing to worry about. The couple had won over fans online and offline, at home and abroad. Cheryl, whose mother is Filipina, inspired news media from the Philippines to cover Dancing with the Stars. Cheryl received well-wishes from Pinoys throughout the competition. “It was great to know that they were behind me one hundred percent.”

The couple’s popularity with the show’s audience ultimately pushed Drew and Cheryl to victory, and the couple is grateful. “I have to give a big, big thanks to all our fans. Drew feels the same. We couldn’t have done it without them!”

For now, Cheryl’s decided to put her professional dance career on hold. “I’ve relocated to L.A. I’m looking for an agent, so I can try commercials, acting, or whatever comes my way.”

She’s also teamed up with one of her competitors from DwtS, Louis van Amstel, who was Lisa Rinna’s partner on the show. “Right now, I’m starting some projects with Louis. We may do shows at competitions or perform at corporate events.”

With all these other plans, would Cheryl be up for another run on Dancing with the Stars? “I would love to return for Season 3! There’s no ABC rule against it. [First season pro finalists] Alec and Charlotte just chose not to come back.”


If you would like to contact Cheryl, read more about her, or check her upcoming schedule, you can visit her website: http://www.dancingcheryl.com

For permission to republish this article, email us at mail@myoxisbroken.com.

A tricky stick shift brought an end to the Glamazons’ Amazing Race. The six-foot-tall, tiara-wearing sisters, Joni & Lisa, struggled to drive their vintage VW Bug over the muddy roads of Brazil, and they were narrowly defeated by oldsters Fran & Barry. At least Joni will finally have time to get a handle on her bladder control problems.

Teams started this leg of the race by taking a taxi two miles to a tall building, Edificio Copan, for their next clue. All of the teams left between 5:30 and 7:30 a.m., but, because the building didn’t open until 8 a.m., all of the teams really started this leg at the same time.

On the way to the building, Frat Guy Eric ogled a prostitute’s behind. It took him a few seconds to realize that he was ogling a man. To make up — if not overcompensate — for his mistake, he spent much of the rest of the episode flirting with the Pink girls, Dani & Danielle. At one point, he told the camera, “We gotta make the girls feel good, so we can get in their pants later.”

When teams finally got their clues, they learned that their challenge was the season’s first Roadblock. One member of the team had to climb up one of the building’s three fire escapes and then rappel 400 ft. to the ground. Contestants would rappel in the order by which they arrived at the top of the building.

Jeremy was first to the top of stairwell #1, followed by Ray, Desiree, Danielle, and Fran. Joseph lead the way up stairwell #2, followed by Lake, Dave, and Joni. For some reason, BJ was the only one to choose stairwell #3.

At the bottom, the next clue sent teams to a bus station to find tickets for charter buses leaving at 10:15, 11:15, and 12:15. Jeremy, Joseph, and BJ were first down the building, and their teams took all the seats on the 10:15 bus.

On the 11:15 bus were Ray & Yolanda, Dave & Lori, and Wanda & Desiree. Lake rappelled down the building in fourth place, but he and Michelle took a bus to the wrong station. They wound up on the 12:15 charter with the Pink girls, the Glamazons, and Fran & Barry.

The charter buses dropped teams off in Brotas, Brazil. There, each team chose a vintage VW Bug to drive to the next Detour. Teams could either climb 50 feet up a waterfall, or they could distill sugarcane juice into ethanol.

All of the teams from the first bus chose the waterfall. They climbed it using ropes and mechanical ascenders, require good coordination and are tricky to learn. They’ve confounded more than one team in past seasons of the Race.

Eric was the only one from the front pack who didn’t master the ascender immediately, but even his troubles were brief. The Hippies, Frat Guys, and Joseph & Monica (a.k.a. MoJo) finished the task quickly and drove to the Pit Stop. The Hippies arrived first, winning a trip to Tahiti and some hacky sacks.

Ray & Yolanda arrived on the second bus, and were the only team from their group to climb the waterfall. Nerds Dave & Lori chose the sugarcane option because Dave had once done the ethanol conversion as an experiment in school. They were followed by the mother/daughter team, Wanda & Desiree.

While making ethanol sounds like a very technical procedure, the process contestants used was very simple. Each team cranked 15 sugarcane stalks through a press to extract the juice. The juice was then heated over a Bunsen burner until the distilled ethanol dripped into a container.

Then the teams topped off their car’s gas tank with the ethanol they’d created. Phil pointed out that one-third of cars in Brazil run on ethanol, not fossil fuels. By sheer coincidence, immediately after this week’s show aired, President Bush announced plans to attack Brazil.

Dave & Lori called upon the spirit of Nickelodeon’s 80s science icon, Mr. Wizard. They finished ahead of Wanda & Desiree, who briefly got lost, and also feared they might’ve chosen the slower Detour.

Wanda & Desiree had nothing to fear, as neither Fran & Barry nor Lisa & Joni would be reaching the Pit Stop until after nightfall. Lisa had trouble keeping her stick-shift Bug in gear, putting her in a panicked state that lasted until they reached the Pit Stop.

Lisa & Joni chose the less physically demanding ethanol task. Joni cheered Lisa on a she cranked the sugarcane through the press, saying, “Pretend you’re giving birth to a child.” Lisa retorted, “I didn’t! I had a C-section!”

Lake & Michelle and the Pinks had no trouble with the waterfall, but Fran couldn’t get the hang of the ascender. She and Barry chose to climb the waterfall this week, after wasting so much time on the wrong Detour last week, too. If Fran and Barry keep making such poor decisions, they should be the next team out.

Fran & Barry ran into further bad luck when their car’s battery died on the road to the Pit Stop. They were given a new car, but no credit for the time they lost. Luckily for them, they still edged out Lisa and Joni.

Lisa sobbed on the mat when they finished the race. It had been her idea to go on the show, and she blamed the loss on her poor driving. Joni assured her that they won or lost as a team, and that the greatest gift she could have received wasn’t a victory, but a chance to travel the world with her sister.

Leaderboard:
1 – BJ & Tyler
2 – Eric & Jeremy
3 – Monica & Joseph
4 – Dave & Lori
5 – Ray & Yolanda
6 – Desiree & Wanda
7 – Lake & Michelle
8 – Dani & Danielle
9 – Fran & Barry
10 – Lisa & Joni (eliminated)

Next week, the teams travel to Moscow, where they must search hundreds of nesting dolls for a clue. And Wanda must face her fear of drowning, as she retrieves a clue from the deep end of a swimming pool.

This week, Brent joined Lenny on the list of The Apprentice 5 villains. Like Lenny, Brent survived his first trip to the boardroom, where two contestants were fired. But while Lenny is entertaining and diabolically cuddly, Brent is just sort of annoying. He does do a mean robot, however.

After selling memberships to Sam’s Club last week, the future leaders of industry that Trump selected for this season had to shill razors. And not just any razor: Fusion, the new five-bladed razor from Gillette. Looks like producer Mark Burnett’s hands are biting back at the reality stars they’ve fed. This episode put Burnett in direct competition with Survivor: Outback runner-up Colby Donaldson, whose day job is as the Schick Quattro pitchman.

The team that got the most New Yorkers to text message a certain word to a certain phone number won the task. However, it was never made clear what was in it for those who did send that message. A sixth blade?

Team Gold Rush, lead by the nearly post-pubescent Lee, badgered people who were waiting in line for tickets to Broadway shows. Getting a captive audience to send text messages while on-camera and waiting in line was easy as fish-in-a-barrel pie. Lenny didn’t feel at all challenged by the task: “What could be simpler? Water? Air?”

Team Synergy, lead by the ironically sleepy Pepi, was still in bed over an hour after their opponents left the loft. Their time management hinted at a loss, but their sales strategy ensured it.

First, native New Yorker Stacy picked a bad corner for them to make their pitch. Then, they followed management consultant Michael’s vision for their marketing campaign, which consisted of nothing more than the team standing around, wearing bathrobes.

At Synergy’s site, Sean the Brit stood in his robe and belted out into his megaphone, “Find out if you can handle it.” Handle what? It’s a razor, not tickets to a cockfight.

As a last ditch effort to interest passersby, Brent danced and performed “robotics” in his bathrobe. After all this, scatterbrained Synergy was blown out by Gold Rush’s simple, effective plan.

In the boardroom, Trump said he’d be firing two candidates. Pepi put the blame on Brent. During a planning meeting, Brent had confronted Stacy in a hallway and told her to stop interrupting him. She had then returned to the group and said Brent threateningly pointed a finger at her. In her defense, his nails did look a little rough. Plus, Stacy bruises easily.

Later, Stacy had admitted to appellate attorney Roxanne — currently the only likeable person on Synergy — that she hadn’t actually felt like she was in any danger. But in the boardroom, Stacy changed her tune again and said she really had felt threatened.

Neither Trump nor subsititute viceroy Bill Rancic bought Stacy’s act. Trump said that, as a criminal defense attorney, she should be embarrassed to feel threatened by Brent. Trump also faulted her for picking a bad location, and she was fired.

Brent got a pass, after Trump’s daughter Ivanka (subbing for Carolyn) said Brent would probably be fired soon enough, anyway. So, in order for Trump to fulfill his promise to fire two members of the losing team, project manager Pepi got the boot as well.

Next week, The Apprentice turns into Fear Factor, as contestants ride in golf carts and swim with sharks. What exactly are these people supposed to be learning anyway?

Ankur & Jennipher were the last team eliminated before the season finale of Beauty and the Geek 2. But Jennipher wasn’t about to leave before giving Cher a piece of her mind.

Both Joe & Brittany and Ankur & Jennipher were nervous about the prospect of facing off against Josh & Cher in the finale. In their trips to the elimination room, Josh has only answered one question incorrectly, and Cher hasn’t missed any.

When the teams received their study materials for this week’s challenge, each contestant was also instructed to film a video thank you card for his or her partner. As usual, Josh fretted over his project, but most everyone finished quickly and began preparing for the challenge.

When Cher chose to work on her tan rather than study with Josh, he decided to try and make her jealous by studying with Brittany. It worked, and soon Cher was yelling for Josh to join her down by the pool.

Josh attempted to stand up to Cher, muttering, “I’m nobody’s bitch. I’ll go down when I want to go down.” Three seconds later, he said, “I’m gonna go down.” He gathered up his study materials, as Joe and Brittany laughed.

After scarfing down their dinners, teams were instructed to meet in the library. They watched their video thank yous as a group, which made the guys uncomfortable. They’d assumed only their partners (and millions of TV viewers) would see the videos, and they were concerned about how open and honest they’d been on tape.

Most of the videos were predictably sweet. Ankur joked about how his bickering with Jennipher had earned them the nickname “the married couple.” Cher’s video was the only surprise, not because she wasn’t sweet, but because she was. She took the chance to apologize to Josh for her inconsiderate behavior toward him, surprising the other teams, who thought she was only there for the competition.

Josh thanked Cher for showing him that he was more than just a short, skinny guy. She called the video the best gift she’d ever received.

The next day, everyone participated in the season’s first team challenge. While the guys and girls had different tasks within the challenge, the team that finished first would be the only team assured a spot in the finals.

As a part of their study materials, teams were given three catalogs. The beauties went through the catalogs with their geeks, pointing out items they liked. During the challenge, each geek had to find a specific item in three different stores that his partner had chosen as the item she’d most like to receive as a gift.

For their task, the beauties had to direct a driver to each of the stores. While studying geography and orienteering, Brittany explained to Jennipher, “Geology is rocks. Geography is maps.” Because she’d once scored nearly 100 percent on a test of African geography in a college class, Brittany was disappointed that the challenge took place in Los Angeles, and not Africa.

Cher quickly navigated her driver to the first store, where Josh picked out Cher’s favorite pair of shoes on the first try. Brittany made a wrong turn, which got them to the store just after Josh had finished the task. Joe didn’t have a clue what Brittany would like, and resorted to looking under random shoes for the tag marked “Brittany.”

Jennipher was so clueless about how to read a map, she and Ankur sat in the car with their driver for an hour before she told him, “Just drive.” They ended up finishing the challenge two hours after the other teams.

At the second store, Josh quickly found the red purse that Cher wanted. As he ran out of the shop, she yelled from the car, “Get back in here, you beautiful creature.” Joe arrived at the store shortly after Josh left, and had a much easier time with the purse than he had with the shoes.

Josh easily found the necklace Cher wanted from the jewelry store, but panicked when he was told he had to find earrings for her as well. Josh finished and passed Joe on his way out of the store. While Joe had good luck again, he and Brittany couldn’t catch up to Josh & Cher.

Knowing that Joe & Brittany were close behind, Josh & Cher ran into the mansion. Upon being told they’d won, Cher tackled Josh, and they rolled around on the floor. Brittany & Joe arrived minutes later.

That evening, before heading to the elimination room, Jennipher asked Cher why she really participated in the show. Cher admitted that, at first, it was all about the prize money for her. She hadn’t expected to be affected by the other participants, and her mind changed as she got to know Josh and the others. She was happy to have the chance to live outside of her comfort zone for a while.

At elimination later that night, Brittany reasoned her way through the geography questions and scored a perfect 3-for-3. Jennipher struggled, leaving Ankur with a two point deficit. Although he answered his first two questions correctly, Ankur couldn’t beat Joe, who went 2-for-3.

Jennipher said she’d be leaving the game with more confidence and an urge to be more independent. Ankur said that Jennipher helped him realize that it was okay to be himself. In response, Jennipher said she’d consider naming one of her future sons Ankur.

On the season finale, Joe & Brittany face off against Josh & Cher in an elimination round filled with twists.

The premiere episode of The Amazing Race 9 sent contestants to Brazil, meaning this season’s contestants have already ventured farther outside the U.S. than any did during last season’s mostly-domestic affair. Anxious traveller John had just enough time to overcome his fear of flying before he and his partner, Scott, were eliminated.

The team introductions were supposed to look rugged, as contestants were driven to Colorado’s Red Rocks Amphitheater in the backs of crappy pickup trucks. Nerds David and Lori hoped for some team-specific Roadblocks and Detours this season, as David described his team’s strengths thusly: “She’s really great at card games, and I’m really great at taking tests.”

TAR 9’s first clue instructed teams to take one of three flights to Sao Paolo, Brazil. As teams drove Mercedes sedans to the Denver Airport–the vehicle budget quickly increased from the intro’s pickups–this season’s villain was revealed. Lake, a Southern dentist, instructed his wife, Michelle, to exit the highway so they could find a pay phone and reserve seats on one of the flights.

When they got back on the highway, with Lake now in the driver’s seat, Michelle read the clue aloud. It forbade them from reserving tickets by phone. When she pointed out Lake’s mistake, he admitted that he hadn’t read the whole clue and told Michelle, “That was… partially my fault.” He didn’t say who else could possibly have been to blame. It was probably the anti-dentites.

More of Lake’s true colors came out in the airport. When Michelle fretted about having arrived last, he told her, “Shut the f— up.” As Michelle raced Yolanda to the ticket counter, Lake yelled, “Don’t let that black girl beat you.” Later in the episode, Lake referred Yolanda and Ray as “the black team.”

Although all three flights arrived within 35 minutes of each other, cab driver trouble put six-foot tall sisters Joni and Lisa well behind the pack, as they headed to retrieve a clue at Sao Paulo’s Hotel Unique. John and Scott suffered from similar cabbie problems. Their driver was not only slow; he also bore an eerie resemblance to what John will probably look like in about 10 years.

Bearded pals BJ and Tyler, nicknamed “the hippies” by the other teams, mitigated possible cab problems by having learned some Portuguese phrases on the plane. It was obvious that other teams did not, as half of them thought that the national language of Brazil was Spanish. Joni and Lisa admitted that they’d actually thought Spanish was first language of all non-Americans.

From the hotel, teams had to take another cab to a pedestrian bridge to find their next clue. Although the cluebox was in plain sight, Barry and Fran, the oldest team on the race, spent forty minutes looking for it. They arrived at the bridge in fourth place, but left in eighth.

The bridge clue was a Detour, in which teams had to choose between assembling a motorcycle and taking a helicopter ride to the top of a building in downtown Sao Paolo.

While assembly challenges are often faster for teams with patience and mechanical inclination, bubbly, pink-clad cuties Danielle and Dani arrived at the motorcycle shop with neither–and no one at the shop was willing to help them. Once the duo realized that the only other team at the shop, Fran and Barry, was equally clueless, they headed to the helicopter challenge.

For their second blunder of the day, Fran and Barry spent far too long trying to put the bike together themselves. They then expected Lake and Michelle, who’d arrived after Danielle and Dani had left, to all but put it together for them. As he worked on his bike, Lake told Fran he’d tell her what to do when he was finished.

But Fran didn’t have the prerequisite knowledge that Lake assumed she would. When he told her the spark plug went on the engine, she asked, “Where’s the engine?” Because they’d spent much of the day among the slower teams, Lake and Michelle couldn’t afford to spend too much time micromanaging their competition. So, they left, and Fran and Barry eventually abandoned the bike for the helicopters.

The only other couple to successfully build a motorcycle was Ray and Yolanda. They had the added pressure of being surrounded by a crowd of guys who cheered every time Yolanda bent over. Ray managed to keep his composure and focus on the task, inside of chasing down the catcalling jerks.

The helicopter challenge was relatively easy. After finding a picture of a building in a pilot’s handbook, teams showed the picture to a dispatcher. The dispatcher then assigned the team a helicopter pilot, who flew them to the building. There, they searched a small area for a clue, and then headed back to the airfield.

Eric and Jeremy, who other teams called “the frat guys,” teased their helicopter pilot, Martinez, about the huge number of women he must get with such a cool job. Martinez may have had a better shot with Dani and Danielle than did Eric and Jeremy. When their two teams crossed paths, the girls rebuffed the frat guys’ attempts to flirt.

Being one of the last teams to the airport didn’t stop Joni and Lisa from getting excited. As they ran toward their helicopter, a nervous Joni shrieked, “I’m gonna pee my pants. Oh! I just peed my pants!” Then, as she looked out of the window during takeoff, a camera outside of the helicopter captured her screaming face.

After finishing the Detour, teams made their way to nearby neighborhood where they participated in a local religious ceremony, which involved snakes and candles. After the ceremony, teams received another clue, instructing them to head to this episode’s Pit Stop: a soccer stadium.

Jeremy and Eric were first to arrive. They jumped on the mat and asked host Phil, “What did we win, Philly?” Phil told them that they’d each won $10,000 for finishing in first place. Eric and Jeremy promised to apply the funds toward their goal of working as little as possible.

BJ and Tyler showed up soon afterward to score second place. And the Puertorriqueña mother/daughter squad, Wanda and Desiree, ran a mostly mistake-free leg to grab third.

John and Scott, whose slow cabs got them to the helicopter challenge last, weren’t able to make up any time and were the first team eliminated. John was happy he was able to overcome some of his fears, and Scott said he appreciated “the sharing of the growing of the experience,” which probably meant something.

Leaderboard:
1 – Eric and Jeremy
2 – BJ and Tyler
3 – Wanda and Desiree
4 – Lori and David
5 – Lake and Michelle
6 – Monica and Joseph
7 – Ray and Yolanda
8 – Fran and Barry
9 – Danielle and Dani
10 – Joni and Lois
11 – John and Scott (eliminated)

Next time, Eric and Jeremy again attempt to woo Dani and Danielle, and Fran slips on some rocks.

Bobby’s continued use (and misuse) of the outhouse put him in the doghouse with his tribemates. As a result, he wound up the fifth person eliminated from Survivor: Panama – Exile Island.

The mood at Casaya was tense long before they lost the Immunity Challenge that sent them to Tribal Council. Bruce spent the morning of Day 10 building a rock garden, as Aras, Shane, and Courtney futilely tried to make a fire. Aras asked Bruce for help with the fire, but when Bruce told him to collect more firewood, Aras snapped.

Even though there had already been three people working on the fire, Aras yelled at Bruce for not being the fourth. Bruce explained that, with his rock garden, he was trying to make something for everyone in the tribe to enjoy. But Aras didn’t understand Bruce’s defense and accused him of being selfish. Aras’s suggested that they communicate better in the future. Bruce agreed.

At the Reward Challenge later that day, the starving Survivors of both tribes fought to win some much needed food. Each tribe had a boat anchored just offshore, filled with a bag of beans, a bag of rice, and six large (about arm-length) fish. One tribe member ran to the boat to fetch an item, and tossed it to another tribe member. Each item was tossed from person to person until the final tribe member pitched it into the proper receptacle.

The tribe member at the end of the line was crucial, as the team’s runner couldn’t fetch the next item from the boat until the previous one was in its bin. And the fish couldn’t be thrown into their bin until the head and tail fin were hacked off with a large knife. Bruce put Casaya behind early, as he took over a dozen swings to chop off the first fish’s head, turning the poor thing into chum.

Teammates were allowed to switch places, and Bobby took over as Casaya’s butcher. He found a hidden talent, chopping off body parts with a single stroke. Casaya made up ground on La Mina when Sally needed multiple attempts to catch a fish thrown by Dan. Bobby and Terry each had their final fish on the block at the same time, but Bobby’s hacking efficiency won the challenge for Casaya.

As their reward, Casaya won all of the food they had successfully tossed into their bins, along with spices, cooking oil, and a bottle of wine. La Mina didn’t leave empty-handed; they were allowed to take either their bag of beans or their bag of rice back to camp. They chose the beans.

Casaya sent Terry back to Exile Island for another couple of days. Having already found the hidden Immunity Idol, Terry took the opportunity to rest up before the next challenge. He built a fire and munched on snails and coconut.

Like last week, Terry had a much easier time on Exile Island than his tribemates did at camp. Austin and Nick overindulged in the newly won beans and spent the night in serious gastro-intestinal distress. While Nick didn’t think it was polite to discuss details, his tribemates threw about the phrase “coming out of both ends.”

Things weren’t much better for Casaya, after they returned home with their winnings. Torrential rains had flooded the whole camp, washing away the fire pit and soaking the shelter. Rather than let the fish go to waste, they ate it raw. For Cirie, it was a rude introduction to sashimi.

That night, Bobby and Bruce found their tribemates hogging the dry space in the shelter and headed into the tribe’s outhouse to avoid the rain. Bobby brought the bottle of wine, and he and Bruce polished it off.

When the Courtney noticed the missing bottle the next morning, she confronted Bobby. He confessed that he drank it, but said he wasn’t sorry that he deprived Courtney of her share of the wine.

The tribemates also felt that, out of tribe loyalty, Bobby and Bruce should have spent the night in the shelter with the rest of the tribe — instead of in the same outhouse Bobby had christened with a “deuce” last episode. Bobby apologized to everyone except Courtney, who he called “probably one of the two or three most annoying people on Earth.”

When the two tribes arrived at the Immunity Challenge, Terry was in much better shape than the rest of La Mina. Only half of the challenge was physical, which allowed Austin to rest his aching GI tract. Casaya had to sit two people, and because Danielle and Courtney had sat out of the Reward Challenge, Cirie and Bruce did not participate.

The first half of the challenge required three tribe members to paddle a boat to the locations of four submerged coffins. Competitors dove underwater and untied ropes that held the coffins shut. In each coffin was a three-dimensional puzzle piece, made of connected skulls. Once they were all collected, the pieces were rowed back to shore, where the two remaining tribe members assembled them into a pyramid-shaped puzzle.

La Mina’s Terry, Dan, and Nick quickly gained a lead on Casaya’s Courtney, Danielle, and Aras, who struggled to open their coffins. This gave Sally and Austin time to try plenty of puzzle combinations before Casaya got their pieces to shore. Bobby and Shane were just starting to figure out the puzzle when Sally and Austin finished, and La Mina was spared a trip to Tribal Council.

Immediately upon returning to camp, Aras, Courtney, Shane, and Cirie discussed who should be voted out. While Shane favored eliminating Bobby, Aras persuaded everyone to vote for Bruce. Cirie didn’t care who went home, as long as it wasn’t her.

Shane was worried that Bobby would join with Nick and Austin at the merge. So he coerced Bobby into swearing (on Shane’s son, no less, not that Bobby knows or cares about Shane’s son) that he wouldn’t. In exchange, Shane promised Bobby at least sixth place.

With the decision to eliminate Bruce settled, Courtney commandeered his rock garden for yoga practice. Even though he was totally disgusted that she couldn’t find another spot on the entire beach, Bruce held his tongue.

Danielle, who wasn’t around for the Aras’s initial discussion about that night’s vote, talked with Cirie and Courtney. She convinced them to switch their vote back to Bobby. They all felt that Bobby wasn’t trustworthy, and Courtney thought it would be fun to knock Aras down a peg by changing their votes.

When the women approached Shane about their decision, he scolded Courtney for not telling him before he swore not to eliminate Bobby. He reminded them that he was the one who’d wanted to boot Bobby in the first place. Cirie played peacemaker, telling Shane that they should’ve listened to him then.

It’s clear nobody on Casaya has any idea how well Cirie is playing this game. By remaining involved socially with everyone — and becoming enemies with no one — she’s successfully avoiding being mentioned as a voting target. She’s managed this despite having no alliances, and since almost getting booted out in each of the first two episodes.

At Tribal Council, Jeff asked how the rain had affected Casaya’s camp, prompting Bobby to tell of his night in the outhouse with Bruce. Aras said that Bruce deserved just as much of the blame for drinking the wine as Bobby did. When Bruce asked Aras why no one had said anything earlier to him about it, Aras said, “The onus wasn’t on us to come to you, it was on you to apologize for it!” Aras has no future in criminal justice.

Danielle jumped into the fray, saying that Bruce doesn’t get the respect that he deserves as an older member of the tribe. But Bruce assured Aras that he’d take his comments to heart, and that they’d be hearing a lot more from him whenever there was a problem.

The voting results showed just how fractured the Casaya tribe is. The alliance of women voted for Bobby as they’d agreed, but Shane cast a meaningless vote for Aras. Bobby and Aras both voted for Bruce, who himself cast a vote for Courtney, as payback for defacing his rock garden.

If the three women stick together, they should be able to control who’s eliminated from their tribe until the merge, which should only be an episode or two away, anyhow.

Next week, the Casaya women have Shane in their crosshairs, and a couple of twists (the previews offered no specifics) shake things up for the contestants.

Even though Dancing with the Stars is in between seasons, every Wednesday, we’ll continue to post news updates on the show’s dancers, celebrities, and hosts.

This week, we start with champs Drew and Cheryl, who have been making the talk show rounds since their win on Sunday.

The couple guested on Tuesday’s View, where they were originally scheduled to perform. But Drew wasn’t feeling up to it, as he had pulled a hamstring while preparing for his dance in the DwtS finale. That, after hurting his back a few days earlier in his freestyle routine.

Barbara Walters asked Drew if the DwtS cast is paid to appear. He said that contestants got paid for every week they were on the show, but after elimination, they neither trained nor received compensation.

All of the women on The View were interested in what Drew’s wife, Lea, thought about his sexy routines with Cheryl. While Drew wished he had some good gossip to dish about how his wife had freaked out on him, Lea was always encouraging and never jealous. Cheryl admitted that she was a little nervous about Lea’s reaction at first, but that Lea would often push them to make their performances sexier.

With Lea due to give birth in four weeks, Drew was prepared to leave the show at any point in order to take her to the hospital. When the ladies suggested that his brother Nick could’ve filled in for him, Drew said that certainly would’ve lost them the show.

Also sitting in the studio audience of The View were retired professional dancers Melanie Lapatin and Tony Meredith. They run a studio in New York City and have been giving Barbara Walters lessons (for what, she didn’t say). About a year and a half ago, Melanie was given a makeover on What Not to Wear, and I’m sad to report that she has reverted to wearing all black again. Stacy London, Clinton Kelly, and I are disappointed in you, Melanie.

On Wednesday’s Tony Danza Show, Tony gave Drew a basket of goodies for his new baby, including a toddler-sized tutu and a tiny pair of tap shoes.

Drew told Tony that he’d been sure that he and Stacy (who Tony Danza insisted on calling “the tall girl”) would face off in the final two, since they had consistently earned the highest scores from the judges. But he said the victory over Jerry Rice was especially sweet, as it was payback for several losses that Rice’s 49ers had inflicted upon Drew’s beloved Cincinnati Bengals.

According to Cheryl, Drew’s posture was her biggest challenge, especially because his padded suit jackets made his shoulders look even bulkier. To counter this, the couple sewed strings inside the jacket, so they could tie it to Drew’s belt and keep it from riding up.

Drew said almost all of the celebrities were injured by the end of the season. Despite the strains and sprains, Cheryl said Drew had very few clumsy moments during practice. He only came close to dropping her once, and that was early in their training.

Although he said getting a trophy was nice, Drew jokingly wondered why ABC couldn’t include a car or a watch as part of the prize. The unexpected benefit for Drew was a chance to show the world what a great brother he has, as Nick attended nearly every show.

Other members of the DwtS cast have been chatting up talk show hosts, too.

Monday night’s edition of The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch featured Tom Bergeron, Lisa Rinna, and Harry Hamlin. Harry’s the first celebrity name being suggested for season three, but he hasn’t committed yet.

Tom said that another possibility for season three is David Carradine. This season, Carradine actually trained with Ashly because producers were afraid Master P wouldn’t show up for the first episode. That explains why Carradine was sitting at a table near the judges at the season premiere.

When asked about ABC’s decision to cut out the portion of Thursday’s show where Bruno referred to “Brokeback Mountain: The Musical” in its West Coast feed, Tom criticized the network for making a big deal out of it. He said that Drew’s gesture of covering his rear with his cowboy hat was totally innocent, and perfectly in keeping with Drew’s character.

Lisa discussed how she was cast for the second season, after she had turned down an offer to appear on the first. She ran into one of the show’s producers at a spinning class and confessed to being a “big idiot” for turning down the show. The producers considered her interest genuine, and she was given another shot.

That’s all for now. See you next week, when we’ll have an interview with one of this season’s professional dancers!

Tuesday night, eleven teams embark on another race around the world. It’s time for the premiere of The Amazing Race 9, and, after the lackluster Family Edition, it’s not a day too soon. Which teams will soar to the finish, and which teams won’t even be cleared for takeoff?

In likely order of elimination, here are our predictions…

David and Lori
These two compose the self-proclaimed nerd team. However, at the official TAR website, they don’t mention any typical nerd interests (e.g., Dungeons & Dragons, Anime, involuntary abstinence, etc.). David plays in a band, and Lori manages a Pizza Hut. I’m a nerd, one of the latest in a long line of nerds, and I want to like this team. But CBS hasn’t offered much information on them. So, they’re either the season’s surprise team — and CBS is holding out on the good footage — or they’ll likely be the first couple eliminated.

Ray and Yolanda
These Florida transplants to Chicago haven’t done much traveling, and they aren’t strong in any foreign languages (Ray does claim to read minds, but can he read foreign minds?). On top of that, they’ve dated for five years, but haven’t yet decided if they’ll get married. An unsettled relationship has doomed many a team on TAR, and Ray and Yolanda may be the next victims.

Lake and Michelle
This team is the control group in the race. Lake and Michelle seem like a nice, average American couple — married for 13 years with three kids — and they probably won’t ruffle any feathers. But, because of their lack of international travel experience and only a minimal knowledge of Spanish between them, they may be overwhelmed early.

Danielle and Dani
It’s always hard to predict how the hot chick team will do. In Season 6, Lena and Kristy went out well before their time, while Season 5’s Kami and Karli inexplicably survived to the final five. Danielle and Dani just graduated from college, and a youthful lack of patience may work against them. These best friends from Staten Island never fight. So, no matter how long they last, at least they’ll enjoy themselves before they get eliminated.

Lisa and Joni
These Southern sisters are using the race as a chance to get to know each other again. After last season’s bickering Godlewski sisters, this may not be such a good idea. If they win, they plan on spending the money on plastic surgery, which is so honestly shallow, it’s endearing.

John and Scott
John is an early sentimental favorite. He’s tired of being afraid of things (he hasn’t flown in eight years), and he wants to become more of a risk taker. He and his buddy, Scott, may get what they need from the race early, and not have the perseverance to see it through to the end.

Joseph and Monica
This young, attractive couple loves participating in adventurous outdoor activities. Joseph is a devoted hunter, and his accuracy could be a big asset in challenges. The two say they know not to take any disagreements personally on the race, an attitude that’s probably an even bigger asset. Their lack of travel experience may be the only thing that keeps them from the front of the pack.

Wanda and Desiree
Wanda used to be a flight attendant, so she and her daughter, Desiree, have traveled together extensively. Because they’ll always be family, they don’t have the same concerns about the future that the romantically involved couples do. They may be very likable, which is why they’ll follow the show’s tendency for a well-liked team to finish in fourth place.

Eric and Jeremy
Teams of young, buff guys always seem to do well. Jeremy has the advantage of having lived in Kenya for two years, and he speaks Swahili. But Eric’s admitted lack of ambition could keep them from finishing at the top.

Fran and Barry
These Colorado retirees are not the typical “old couple” team. They’ve traveled to 45 countries, and they never make hotel reservations in advance. It takes a lot of guts to show up in China with no place to sleep and without speaking the language. After forty years of marriage, Fran and Barry have learned to take things in stride. TAR could be a walk in the park for them.

BJ and Tyler
The bearded guys from the season’s promos, BJ and Tyler are best friends who combined their class clown powers to become, in their own words, a comedic “Voltron.” They have lots of international travel experience, having met while attending Semester-at-Sea, a school taught on a ship that circumnavigates the globe. They know more languages than any other team; Tyler speaks Spanish and Japanese, and BJ speaks Spanish, German, and Russian.

According to the duo, their only weaknesses are Tyler’s tendency for homesickness and BJ’s penchant for napping. Barring any huge mistakes or streaks of bad luck, there’s no reason that these goofy guys can’t run away with the whole thing.

I’ll preface this by mentioning that most of my Apprentice recaps will be shorter than those for shows like Dancing with the Stars or Survivor. There inevitably comes a point in every season of The Apprentice when I want to throw my remote at the TV, so I’m forced to keep some emotional distance from the show. I just can’t keep buying replacement televisions.

One hero fell, and a new one rose, on tonight’s season premiere of The Apprentice. Tarek, the dead-ringer for Orlando Bloom, proved himself to be a total idiot. And Lenny, or “The Russian,”as Donald Trump called him, became the show’s evil darling, cackling at his enemy’s misfortune.

Tarek seemed like an early favorite until he opened his mouth. He introduced himself as a member of Mensa, a signal that he has no social skills. “Hi, I’m Tarek, and I pay membership dues so that I can say I’m smarter than you.”

Trump chose Tarek and blonde Harvard Business grad Allie to pick teams, which they named Gold Rush and Synergy, respectively. Allie’s best pick was Sean, whose British accent will undoubtedly be the focus of many of the team’s marketing campaigns.

Lenny was the last man left and wound up on Tarek’s team. Perhaps he was undervalued because of his Russian accent. NBC deemed it heavy enough to occasionally subtitle his comments. But, as Tarek was grilled by Trump in the boardroom, Lenny’s accent made his derisive laughter that much more delicious.

In this week’s challenge, Team Gold Rush had sold three fewer Sam’s Club memberships than did team Synergy, and project leader Tarek was held partially responsible.

Tarek tried to defend his management style, but Trump retorted, “The Russian didn’t like it.” This, after he compared Lenny’s task assignment of riding in a blimp to being sent to Siberia. Trump is nothing if not sensitive to former citizens of the Soviet Union.

Ultimately, restaurant owner Summer was fired because she didn’t make a few phone calls — and because she was dumb enough to interrupt Trump while he was berating Legolas, er, Tarek. As Summer left, Trump told Tarek her foolishness had saved the Mensan. Lenny said, “Not for long.”

Hopefully, the bad blood between Lenny and Tarek will make for good TV in the weeks to come.