Eenie, Meenie

Now that there are eight rockers left on Rock Star: INXS, the band appears to have gotten serious about finding a lead singer. They’ve stopped letting contestants choose their own songs and have begun to assign songs individually. This is a great move because it saves viewers from having to endure more weeks of J.D., Ty, Jessica, well, all of them complaining about not getting the song they wanted, or worse, acting like they’re doing someone else a favor by giving up their first choice. CBS realized that the show works best when there’s less drama and more singing.


I’m sure that INXS will tell each contestant that they chose their song to challenge them as a performer. Of course, I’d prefer they select songs to get rid of the singers they don’t want. For example, give Jessica “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd; she does poorly with slow songs and the lyrics sound like they’re describing an acid trip. I can’t imagine Jessica’s interpretation of it would be anything short of bizarre. Or give J.D. something like “Informer” by Snow just to see him blow up. “I can’t perform garbage like this! If that’s what they think of me, then I’m oooot, hosers!”


It’s still difficult to tell at this point what kind of lead singer INXS really wants. Based on what the band wants, just about anyone could win (except Jessica):


If INXS is looking for a good musical experience with a minimum of problems, choose Marty. He’s got charisma and stage presence and has the best understanding of how to rock. Also, he’s been doing this long enough with some degree of success to have outgrown some of the drinking and ego problems others might have (J.D.). He’s good at working with people and would appreciate the chance to write with successful musicians.


If INXS is looking to bring in a younger audience, they should choose Mig. Mig seems to be happy without a shirt under any conditions, so I guess that’s a plus. He’s charismatic and has a great voice, plus he’s an Aussie so he already knows Aussie slang, unlike all the septics on the show. They could also go with J.D., who has his own following and may appeal to a broader age range of females with bad taste in men. He also may be able to write some decent songs, but does INXS really want to put up with his crap after all this time? Trying to reach out to a young demographic carries a lot of risks. INXS may be better off going the Neil Diamond route, releasing new stuff when they feel like it but sticking to the standards when touring, in which case they should pick whomever they’d enjoy having around the most.


If INXS is looking to achieve critical acclaim, they should choose Jordis. They’ll get credit for taking a risk by hiring a young woman, yet she’s good enough, that taking her isn’t much of a risk at all. They may have to write a little differently for her, which could improve their music and take it in a new direction. Choosing Jordis carries the risk of changing from what’s worked well in the past, but it could yield the biggest reward and may be the most satisfying experience.


And if INXS has decided during the course of the show that they’d prefer to retire, they should pick Deanna, Ty, Jessica or Suzie. Otherwise, those four contestants will be playing a state fair near you sometime real soon. Probably together. Jessica can fill in for Mig on “Stop Go!”