You’re Hired, Old Chap (Episode 5-15)

When last week’s episode of The Apprentice came to a close, it looked like Lee’s celebrity hockey game was in big trouble. Things only got worse this week, as Lee’s team fell apart, and Sean waltzed to an easy victory, becoming the series’ first international Apprentice.

Lee was never able to please the executives from the Leary Firefighters Foundation, in large part because he wasn’t prepared at all for the event. He hadn’t thought out any details, such as how the celebrity hockey players and coaches would make their entrance onto the ice, which exemplified his inexperience to the charity executives.

Even worse, he stuck the very personable Roxanne behind the scenes and let laissez-faire Lenny handle the celebrities. Lenny failed to greet the celebrities when they arrived and angered celebrity auctioneer Jamie Pressley by ditching her in a locker room full of half-naked strangers.

When asked to distribute uniforms to the celebrities, Lenny gave every single one a medium. His reasoning? All celebs have small heads: “John McEnroe? Medium. Very small head.”

Finally, Lee committed the sin of all sins: not meeting Trump when he arrived at the event. Trump later claimed that it was a close call between the candidates, but Lee sealed his doom by running into Trump in a hallway rather than waiting for him at the helicopter pad.

At the other event, everything went smoothly for Sean. Andrea returned to the team after a doctor diagnosed her with only a broken blood vessel in her sinus. The team’s biggest crisis was temporarily misplacing a CD of music for the VIP party.

During the final boardroom, Sean continued to outperform Lee. Sean equalled Lee in terms of academic acheivement, and he had 10 years of experience making million dollar deals, a fact that Lee refused to accept as relevant.

Sean said that the task was won during team selection, and that he had the better team. Lee defended his choice of team members and said that all of them were his passionate advocates for him. Carolyn asked the most obvious question in everyone’s minds: “Why would Pepi be passionate about you winning?”

When the boardroom resumed live, Trump ribbed Sean for being so effusive in praising Tammy. Sean admitted that they are dating and that he intends to marry her.

The choice of tasks for this season’s winner was between a resort project in Hawaii and a condominium building in Soho. Mysteriously, both Sean and Lee said they’d prefer the job in New York, apparently forgetting that Hawaii is Hawaii.

Trump’s stage manager handed him the results of the at-home audience’s vote for the winner. Trump agreed with the audience’s overwhelming favorite, and he hired Sean as the fifth Apprentice.

Poor Sean had only a few seconds to celebrate with his girlfriend and the other candidates, as he was soon shuffled off to the street, where he had to drive off in a new Pontiac, the other reward for his victory.

The show ended a few minutes early, leaving all of the former candidates, Trump, George, and Carolyn to stand around uncomfortably on stage. The band continued to play the show’s theme song at full volume as the camera showed shots of confused audience members half-heartedly clapping.

The awkward, unintentionally amusing ending was a fitting coda for another season of The Apprentice.

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