Week 5: Reality Episode

Zayra was as surprised as the rest of us when she survived another elimination on last week’s Rock Star.
So how does she plan to reward Supernova’s faith in her at this week’s
performance show? By turning the poppiest 80’s hit of them all,
“867-5309,” into a punk rock song.

After Phil’s elimination, the
wannabe rock stars raised a glass to him. According to their comments,
Phil was much cooler than he came off onstage. Zayra admitted that, if
the band had voted according to their personal taste — and not based
on who they thought wanted to be in the band more — she probably
would’ve been out.

Later, all of the men hung out in the
billiard room bemoaning the fact that fewer men than women now remain,
and vowing to show the women just who wears the leather pants in the
mansion. Married guy Magni wisely kept his mouth shut during the

Magni’s wife sent him a video from home. Since he
left Iceland for California, their infant son has learned to walk.
Tearfully, Magni said the video was the fuel he needed to keep

The next day, Jason Newsted stopped by the mansion to
coach the rockers on the finer points of performing. As a group, they
watched videos of last week’s performances, much to the dismay of
several contestants.

Patrice knew that “Remedy” was not her
finest work and was eager to prove herself this week. Dilana felt that
her vocals on “Time After Time” were terrible and actually cried,
despite rave reviews from her competitors.

Jill took the
harshest criticism from Jason, and several of the rockers laughed at
the footage of Gilby running away from her during their performance of
“Brown Sugar.” As a defense mechanism, Jill wouldn’t stop talking and
rationalizing. Tired of listening, Lukas and Toby played a game of

Lukas was the first person to find the new batch of
songs the following day, and he immediately took all of the sheets off
of the wall and brought them out by the pool. Not having to stand in
front of the wall and negotiate relaxed everyone, making song selection
an easy process.

Josh initially wanted to sing “Higher Ground”
by Stevie Wonder, until he realized that Tommy Lee would be playing
drums for the song. Josh assumed that Tommy would want to do, in his
words a “Hot Red Chili Peppers-style” (sic) version of the song, and he
gave the song to Patrice.

As Patrice walked around the house
after song selection, Ryan asked how she felt about performing with a
rock legend. A tense Patrice told Ryan to quit saying Tommy Lee’s name
in her presence. Always eager to fight, Ryan told Patrice that this was
the first and only time he’d uttered Tommy’s name. Patrice backed off,
but Ryan still walked away shaking his head and muttering “bitch” under
his breath.

House Band rehearsal showed a few of what should be
the more disastrous performances tomorrow night. Ignoring Supernova’s
advice to bring the rock, Josh chose the ska song “Santeria” by
Sublime. To make it as un-rocking as possible, he supplied his own beat
box effects. If only it were Rock Star: The Fat Boys. Not only would Josh make the band, he’d have a sweet role in Disorderlies 2.

likewise ignoring the advice to rock, chose “867-5309 (Jenny)” by Tommy
Tutone. As if following a Blondie tune with another 80s hit wasn’t bad
enough, she insisted on changing the song’s rhythm to make it more punk
rock. Band leader Paul said, “Zayra has taken everything that was cool
about the song and gotten rid of it.”

Guitarist Jim suggested
that it would show more of her skills if she would just perform a song
straight for once instead of always rearranging things. She insisted
that a straight performance wasn’t her style, and the band caved to
Zayra’s demands — content to play the song her silly way, so long as
they were also free to giggle.