Week 5: Performance Show

Five weeks into Rock Star: Supernova, and the cream is starting to rise
to the top. But some weak performances this week may lead fans to
question just how creamy Lukas and Toby really are.

Patrice – “Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder (a la Red Hot Chili Peppers)
mohawk was cool, but Patrice’s voice just didn’t carry the song and was
lost in a weird echo effect. And by spending so much time on the drum
riser of guest performer Tommy Lee, she unintentionally drew attention
to how comparitively uncool she is. Dave said that eight of the
remaining rockers would “literally disappear” when playing in front of
Tommy, hinting that Patrice was one of them. She would’ve been better
off humping him.

Josh – “Santeria” by Sublime
came in too early at the start of the song, and it didn’t get better
after that. His vocals sounded exactly like the original, minus any of
the malice behind the lyrics. He took his suckiness to the next level
by beat boxing, but for some reason Supernova just ignored it and
called him soulful.

Dilana – “Can’t Get Enough” by Bad Company
out all in leather like the world’s first slender, good-looking biker
chick, Dilana strode through the crowd, right onto Supernova’s stage
and started singing. Then she rode her boyfriend’s shoulders back to
the main stage to end the song. How do you follow that?

Toby – “Pennyroyal Tea” by Nirvana
all Nirvana songs are created equal. This subdued song did nothing to
help Toby, and his growling didn’t help the song. Then he ended the
song by going into the audience and hugging on some girl. Apart from
Dave pointing out that it was a little anticlimactic to go into the
audience just after Dilana did, the band seemed okay with his

Zayra – ” 867-5309 (Jenny)” by Tommy Tutone
the first time ever, “867-5309” was performed by someone wearing a cape
and a leopard-print leotard. Zayra’s outfit and punk song arrangement
turned her performance into a weird goth-art version of an 80s song.
She’s the kind of opening act at a club that you tell all of your
friends about the next day and later drag them to see.

said, “I’m gonna need a few minutes to process what I just saw,” and a
chuckling Brooke sent the show to commercial. When they returned, Dave
said that Zayra’s still here because she does something different each
week. Gilby warned that, if they eventually do pick her, he’s not
wearing leopard pants to match her.

Magni – “Clocks” by Coldplay
song sounds a lot like a Sigur Ros song, so it was only appropriate
that another Icelander sing it. Magni is the only guy who truly looks
like a rock star when he performs. He’s totally at home on stage. He
might as well be in his living room. Jason Newsted said that Magni sets
the bar for the other participants. In appreciation for missing his
son’s first steps to be on the show, Tommy said that Supernova will fly
his family to California to watch him perform. Magni thanked them and
said he needed to go cry.

Jill – “Don’t You Forget About Me” by Simple Minds
ears are bleeding! Jill screamed the whole song, and the results were
painful in a physical and psychological way. In the understatement of
the evening, Dave said, “That was really not that good.” And for the
second week in a row, Jill’s performance made Gilby uncomfortable.
Based on this performance alone, Jill should be eliminated next.

Ryan – “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M.
Ryan was so pissed this week that he wouldn’t let anyone but Paul from
the House Band perform with him. He played this song sitting at a grand
piano and dropped everyone’s jaws with a monstrous, cathartic scream.
Dave described the performance as “phenomenal.” Tommy said that he’s
already written a Supernova track for piano that he can imagine Ryan
singing. This should earn Ryan an encore tomorrow night.

Lukas – “Celebrity Skin” by Hole
Ryan’s powerful performance, Lukas looked and sounded ridiculous. He
sang most of the song with his back to the audience, later admitting
that he was uncomfortable because he didn’t know the lyrics. It was
pretty much abysmal, and the band let him know it.

Storm – “Changes” by David Bowie
performed an understated, vulnerable version of the song, minus her
usual crazy eyes. Following her bombastic performance last week, Storm
showed great emotional range. It was excellent and the band encouraged
her to keep up with her new classy, subtle style.

Dana – “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who
best thing I can say about Dana’s performance is that Nate the drummer
is a total stud. As for the singing, Dana’s vocals were flat, and she
had trouble staying on pitch. Frankly it’s hard to take her seriously
as the angry, rebellious teen, although she said she was getting a
tattoo the next day. Supernova was complimentary in the way your
grandmother would compliment your talent show performance.

Early Bottom Three:

Josh, and Lukas could all fall into the bottom three at some point, and
it’s unlikely that all of Toby’s fans will let him stay at the bottom
for long.

My goddamn vote went to Ryan. His anger is infectious.