Week 6: Reality Episode

The latest reality episode of Rock Star: Supernova showed that, while
she may not be the best lyricist, Dilana’s probably the smartest person
in the house. And only Ryan understands just how big a threat Dilana is.

The
day after Dana’s elimination, Gilby Clarke dropped by the mansion
bearing gifts: brand new Gibson guitars for the remaining ten rockers.
The guitars were to help them get started on the challenge he’d issued
during the elimination episode: each contestant must write lyrics and a
melody for a new Supernova track.

The track itself sounded like
a cross between “Takin’ Care of Business” and a slow-tempo “Once
Bitten, Twice Shy.” I’m surprised none of the contestants accidentally
wrote, “I got there in the nick of time, before he got his hand across
your state line, yeah.”

Even though they were given less than 24
hours to finish their challenge, almost all of the rockers finished the
task quickly. Storm wrote her lyrics while jogging, and the always laid
back Lukas wrote his lyrics and melody in 15 minutes.

That left
Lukas plenty of time to pester Ryan, the only one who had any real
trouble with the task. Used to writing music by himself, he struggled
to put lyrics and melody to someone else’s song. Lukas’ frequent
interruptions kept Ryan up until long after the other rockers had
partied and gone to bed.

But the hard work paid off, as Ryan’s
angsty lyrics impressed Supernova. Jason Newsted said that he’d like to
hear Ryan sing other Supernova tracks as “his voice cuts through the
music very well.”

Lukas’ first draft efforts also went over well
with the band, and Tommy Lee was said that Lukas “really gets it.” No
one was more impressed with Lukas’ song than Lukas: “It was dirty and
sexy, like myself.”

Of course it was impossible to verify Lukas’ claims about the song, since he garbled his lyrics, as usual.

The
big losers in the task were Jill (no surprise) and Dilana (big
surprise). Once again, Jill oversang and left the band shaking their
heads. The fact that she hasn’t toned things down like they’ve asked
her to makes her the top candidate for elimination this week.

Dilana’s
problem was that her lyrics were just silly: “And if your trains on
time you can get to work by nine, and start your slaving job to get
your pay.” Actually, she wrote a song about a pool party, mentioning
tanning lotion, wine, and a thong. At one point, she even sang the word
“hiney.”

Footage was shown of Storm and Toby performing their
lyrics, but that was it. Since Zayra didn’t make the final edit, I can
only assume that she was competent; if she would’ve been embarassingly
bad, the editors surely would’ve included footage of her.

The
real question is: if Zayra did especially well, would they show the
audience, or just let us keep assuming that she’s horrible?

Later
in the day, as promised this past week, Magni’s wife and son visited
the mansion. Mini-Magni might be the happiest baby in the world. He
didn’t even scream when he saw Lukas. And Magni was so pleased to see
them that he even let baby play with his very expensive new guitar.

The
next day, Dilana found this week’s songs and brought them to the dining
room. She asked if anyone else wanted to perform The Who song “Won’t
Get Fooled Again,” accompanied by Gilby. No one else wanted it. Dilana
took song for herself, and later said of her competitors, “What idiots!”

Ryan
fully agreed with her. “This isn’t a house of brilliant strategists,”
he said. “This is a house of musicians.” He wasn’t surprised that he
was the only one to realize that Dilana could steal Tuesday night’s
show, and possibly the whole contest, with a good performance alongside
Gilby.

In her second genius move of the day, Dilana convinced
Lukas to sing Radiohead’s “Creep” as a way of showing his vocal range.
The flip side of that is, if Lukas can’t sing “Creep,” it will prove to
Supernova that all he can do is his mumbly growl, leaving one fewer
competitor between Dilana and the prize.

Next week, she’ll try to convince Ryan to sing “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” and Toby to do anything by Hilary Duff.

There
wasn’t much footage of House Band rehearsal in this week’s webisode,
although Dilana did warn Gilby that she planned to pull a Jill and
grind on him during their performance Tuesday night. But we did get to
see what the House Band does when not in rehearsal.

Several of
the guys challenged the male rockers to a game of basketball. As we saw
in last week’s reality episode, Ryan, Toby, and Lukas are possibly the
world’s worst basketball players. And they haven’t improved any since
last week.

Team House Band made shot after shot, while the
rockers through up brick after brick. The guys in the House Band
celebrated their victory by giggling their way through a series of
awkward chest bumps.

If the rockers ever manage to beat the House Band, it’ll be a bigger comeback story than “Hoosiers.”

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