TAR All-Stars: Episode 2

Memo to all future Amazing Racers: When you’re going down the highway at 40KPH, and pretty much every other team on the entire Race has flown past you–some more than once–you might have missed a Speed Limit sign somewhere along the road.

Teams left Ecuador for Santiago, Chile, where they entered the headquarters of Codelco,
the largest copper mining company in the world. There, teams
encountered a Roadblock, which required the team member with the best
eye for details to scour a boardroom for clues to their next
destination.

A bunch of actors portraying Executive Vice
Presidents of Something-or-Other doodled letters on their notepads, and
had other letters embroidered onto their ties and suits. Those letters
could be rearranged to form the name of the teams’ next destination, Chuquicamata. Clever contestants would notice a picture of that next destination (and a plaque with its name) hung on the boardroom wall.

Most of the contestants were not clever.

Beauty
Queen Dustin was the first to notice the picture, and she escaped the
boardroom without anyone seeing her copy the name from the picture’s
plaque

Joyce and Eric had been the first contestants to the
boardroom, but because they didn’t pay attention to the photos on the
wall, they left in two of the last three places (Only Ian lagged behind
with them). Ultimately, it didn’t matter, as all teams bunched up at
the airport while waiting for another domestic flight, but it was
embarrassing.

The next destination was the largest open-pit copper mine in the world. There, a Detour forced teams to either drive a gigantic front end loader (fun) or change the nuts and brackets on one of the front end loader’s 10-foot-tall tires (tedious).

Amazingly,
most of the teams chose the tedious work of changing the nuts and
brackets. Rob & Amber drove the front end loader and finished the
Detour first, while having more fun than the other teams. Joe &
Bill also drove the loader, and finished quickly, as well.

Once
teams finished their Detours, they hopped into trucks and drove toward
the Pit Stop, which was in the Valley of the Dead. Charla & Mirna,
who’d hired a cabbie to lead them, became incensed when they noticed
Dustin & Kandice following.

The cabbie pulled over to make
sure that he would be paid his $100 fee, and both of the teams behind
him stopped. Dustin & Kandice seemed interested in working with
Charla & Mirna to get directions from the cabbie, but the two
cousins wouldn’t stop shrieking at the Beauty Queens for following them.

When
they weren’t able to get Charla & Mirna to calm down for even a few
seconds, Dustin & Kandice drove off on their own. Charla &
Mirna then realized that they couldn’t afford to foot the cab bill
alone. Oops.

They tried to offer their cabbie all of their money
and belongings, even promising not to eat the next day, for whatever
good that would do the cab driver. Charla & Mirna gave up and
pushed on alone, crying about the Beauty Queens all the way to the Pit
Stop.

Charla said, “Beauty is sometimes skin deep. It’s easy to
make yourself beautiful with plastic surgery. But to have a pure heart,
and to have morals, is not easy to make up.” Lucky for you, Charla,
producers have decided that this season’s Race winners will not be the team that finishes first, but instead the team that judges itself to have the purest hearts.

As
teams drove through the desolate but beautiful Valley of the Moon, the
shifting terrain forced them to adhere to a forty kilometers per hour
speed limit.

Unfortunately, Drew & Kevin didn’t notice a
sign at the end of the Valley that told them they could resume regular
highway speeds. They grew confused and angry as all of the other teams
passed them once, and then passed them again after Kevin and Drew
figured out they were all going the wrong way.

Rob & Amber
were the first team to reach the finish mat in the Valley of the Dead,
winning a pair of offroad motorcycles, which, sadly, cannot be used
until after the race. Oswald & Danny finished in second place,
meaning this week’s top two teams were the same as last week’s.

Kevin
& Drew puttered into the Valley of the Dead in last place, and by
the time they reached the mat, Drew had had enough. He stomped away
from the mat upon hearing he and Kevin were last to arrive. Phil
Keoghan had to beg Drew to come back to the mat so that the team could
be properly eliminated.

Next week, Danielle flips out when she has to pick up some fish.

Advertisements