After taking a relative beating from the judges on last night’s Dancing with the Stars Performance Show, Marie Osmond told TV Guide she’s running out of gas: "My tank isn’t even empty. It’s fumes."

Jennie Garth, who also took some criticism from the judges, was upbeat in her latest blog post: "I can’t take that home with me, if you know what I mean."

Maksim Chmerkovskiy told People that his partner, Melanie Brown, is exhausted after trying to memorize 20 routines for the Spice Girls tour, in addition to the two new routines she has to learn each week for DwtS.

Don’t expect to see DwtS pro Karina Smirnoff dancing in tonight’s Results Show; she’s recovering from plastic surgery on her nose. And her boyfriend, former contestant Mario Lopez, doesn’t even watch DwtS anyway.

If you’re looking to wager on Dancing with the Stars, Helio Castroneves is the new favorite to win. Probably not a bad bet, considering the show’s history of male winners.

Some soap opera writers have crossed the picket line in order to save their jobs. Soap opera viewership is already so low that a prolonged delay could be the end of some daytime dramas.

CBS could be in for even more trouble if their news department decides to stage its own strike on Thursday. The threat of more empty time slots could be why the network is quickly trying to cast a new season of Big Brother.

Speaking of Big Brother, Reality Blurred has a somewhat graphic story about the newly crowned winner of Big Brother Africa 2. The married man who won had consensual sex with one female cast member and is accused of raping another. The show’s producers are denying that the rape occurred, even though the assault was caught on camera and broadcast live.

To fill its empty time slots, the CW is going to air a mother-daughter beauty pageant show, Crowned, three nights a week during December and January. DwtS 2 contestant Shanna Moakler is a judge on the show.

The only new shows of this season that I never miss are both on the CW. Since the season started, I’ve dropped — or at least skipped episodes of — Bionic Woman, Pushing Daisies, Samantha Who?, Kid Nation, Next Great American Band, and Moonlight.

Of this season’s new shows, Gossip Girl is easily my favorite. The writing is smart, the plot progresses each episode, and the acting is totally believable. Plus, it’s just fun.

I’m hanging on to Reaper as well, even though none of the subsequent episodes have lived up to the quality of the Kevin Smith-directed pilot. But the premise is clever, and Tyler Labine and Ray Wise still have moments of brilliance. Should the CW pick up the show for another season — or should the strike resolve itself soon enough for this season to be finished properly — the producers should consider Tim Goodman’s spot-on suggestions for how to improve Reaper.

As we inch closer to the Dancing with the Stars 5 finale, only two couples proved they belong there.

Round 1

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough — Jive
Richard Simmons came to cheer Jennie on, and he made her cry during his pep talk: "You’re a show girl, so shine." Why hasn’t Richard been cast for this show yet?

Jennie didn’t have complete control of her upper body, and she missed a hand hold with Derek early on. Derek kept the choreography challenging, and Jennie looked like she was giving it her all. In reference to Jennie’s green, beaded dress, Tom Bergeron said, "I’m craving frozen vegetables, for some reason."

Len said, "I’ve gotta be honest, I’m not sure if that Jive tonight is deserving of getting into the semi-finals." Bruno told Jennie, "You were limp. It wasn’t sharp, and it should’ve been, at this point in the competition." Carrie Ann agreed: "You’ve gotta watch your posture. This is the second week I’ve mentioned it. You crumble a little bit."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…8, Len…8, Bruno…8 = 24/30

Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska — Viennese Waltz
The ABC-sponsored Super Soap weekend at Disneyland gave Cameron a chance to rally the support of his fans. And even in this elegant dance, they managed to give Cameron’s fans what they want by keeping his shirt open. It was a very nice performance to the theme from Harry Potter.

Bruno gave Cameron the bizarre compliment that he looked "like a great big grey albatross." Carrie Ann said, "I really loved it. You’re really good in hold." Len protested Cameron’s outfit choice: "Why haven’t you got a bow (tie) on? Why’ve you got all your chest there in a ballroom dance?" But he said of the performance, "I grew to love it more and more."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…9, Bruno…9 = 27/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts — Rumba
Marie felt uncomfortable dancing something so romantic without getting permission from Jonathan’s wife, Anna Trebunskaya, first. Anna arrived at the couple’s practice and told Marie, "Even if you accidentally kiss him during the dance, it’ll be okay."

Apart from a few bends that showcased Marie’s flexibility, the dance felt slow even for a Rumba. Worse, the couple danced at arms length, ruining any chance for romance.

Carrie Ann told Jonathan, "I think you could be a little more aggressive, throwing in more moves. I know this woman can handle it." Len quipped to Marie, "I know the writers have gone on strike, but I think your hips have come out in sympathy with them." Bruno called Marie "Mrs. Robinson."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…8, Len…8, Bruno…8 = 24/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough — Paso Doble
Julianne assembled a ballroom Pit Crew for Helio, comprising Tony Dovolani, Corky Ballas (Mark’s dad), and Heather Smith. In their dance, Helio & Julianne sported cool black and gold costumes complete with capes. The performance was close to great, but not quite, as it’s always hard to believe Helio in the more serious dances.

Len said, "Normally, I don’t like capes…but the cape worked tonight." Bruno told Helio, "Good Spanish line, incredible presence." Carrie Ann said, "What I really liked about this is your attention to detail…and that’s what’s going to take somebody to the top."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…9, Bruno…9 = 27/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Tango
Mel’s hubby, Stefan, stopped by practice to help make her angry and aggressive for the Tango. While they danced, he shouted out annoying things that he does around the house. The technique worked, as Mel & Maks used their sharp movements to give the first dynamic performance of the night. It was just too bad Mel was forced to Tango to Depeche Mode’s "Personal Jesus" — and in pants again, instead of a dress.

Bruno called it "a menacing Tango." Carrie Ann said, "I loved the stalking at the beginning," but noted, "It looked like you were concentrating on the steps." Len gave a detailed explanation of his experience going through puberty, finishing with, "I’ve become a foot man. Your feet were great this time!"

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…9, Bruno…9 = 27/30

Round 2

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough — Fox Trot
This performance was dreadfully slow. Jennie’s arms were more graceful and controlled than during the Jive, but the Fox Trot lacked comparable enthusiasm.

Carrie Ann told Jennie, "You have a tendency to push it out a little and lead with your chin." Len said, "One of the secrets with this show is, if you get a criticism, not to let it get you down. Come back stronger." Bruno told Jennie, "You look like Veronica Lake. You have everything within you to unleash star power. For me, it still doesn’t happen."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…9, Bruno…8 = 26/30

Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska — Cha Cha Cha
Like the super-slow version of The Rolling Stones’ "Brown Sugar" that they danced to, Cameron & Edyta’s performance lacked fire. Cameron’s arm movements look mechanical, and his tan pants were a bit too, um, form-fitting in the front.

Len said, "I didn’t find it terrible. It was a bit like painting by numbers." Bruno agreed: "It’s too hard and stiff for a Cha Cha Cha." Carrie Ann told Cameron, "What you need to work on…how you move from form to form, all the in between movements."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…8, Len…8, Bruno…8 = 24/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts — Jive
Dressed in cowboy outfits, Jonathan looked like the missing Village Person. Marie looked cute and moved well, and she sold the performance better than Jennie did during her Jive.

Bruno said the performance looked like "a rerun of Sara Evans. It was cute, it was fun, a lot of line dancing. But I didn’t think there was enough Jive step for me." Carrie Ann agreed: "What you did was wonderful, but there was not a lot of Jive." Len said, "You came out and gave us fun, and I think these two are being a bit harsh."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…8, Len…9, Bruno…8 = 25/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough — Quickstep
For some reason, Helio was dressed as The Man in the Yellow Hat from Curious George. Their very bouncy Quickstep ended with Helio planting a kiss on Julianne’s lips and then dropping her to the ground for comedic effect.

Carrie Ann shouted, "Yea!" Len told Helio, "You look like a great, big dancing banana. That band is fantastic. The singers are fantastic. And that was fantastic." Bruno enthused, "That was an explosive lift off for Helio. You’ve got the finishing line in sight!"

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Mambo
Mel & Maks’ Mambo was fun and energetic, and featured some cool drops.

Len said "That was so hot, I’m surprised you didn’t set the smoke alarms off. Your hips? I was hypnotized." Bruno said the routine was "full on, unashamed, flirtatious fun." Carrie Ann complimented Melanie: "Maks looks like he’s really having a great time, and that’s a testament to how well you’re doing."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 29/30

Leaderboard:
57 — Helio & Julianne
56 — Mel & Maks
51 — Cameron & Edyta
50 — Jennie & Derek
49 — Marie & Jonathan

My votes are going to Helio & Julianne and Mel & Maks, as they gave the only finale-worthy performances of the night. Marie is likely to receive some sympathy votes, so she should be safe, putting Cameron and Jennie in danger. Based on some recent interviews and blog posts, Jennie seems like she might be ready to go home.

Tomorrow night, Gloria Estefan gives the performance she was scheduled to give a few weeks ago. Couples who make it past the elimination will receive a private lesson with Len, whom Tom called "the Yoda of the Ballroom."

If you missed the feature on Dancing with the Stars’ Hough siblings on Friday night’s episode of 20/20, ABC News has an article about the segment. And E! News has an article with quotes from the Osmond family’s appearance on Friday’s Oprah.

Mark Ballas told TV Guide that he’s hoping to "avenge" his love Sabrina Bryan at the DwtS finale, where they may get to take a longer turn on the dance floor than the other ousted couples: "What I’m hearing is that they want us to do a whole dance, whether it be paso doble or cha cha."

Today’s your last chance to bid on a pink boxing glove autographed by Judd Nelson at the Clothes Off Our Backs celebrity auction site.

The New York Post features a piece about the daily grind of being a contestant on Project Runway. The show returns to Bravo for its fourth season on Wednesday night at 10 ET.

Reality Blurred has a post featuring a Real World: Sydney spoiler. Apparently, MTV’s website has altered the season’s cast photo — removing someone who was still living in the house as of the most recent episode.

In strike news, the networks have turned their attention to pilots for the 2008-09 season, just in case the 2007-08 season is a bust. And cable networks may get a boost at the Emmys if perennial favorites like 24 never make it to air.

If you’d like to lend your support to the striking writers, you can donate money for weekly picket line pizza deliveries. Adam Levermore-Rich, media liaison for Fans4Writers.com, told Variety, "We wanted to do something to show our support and delivering food seemed like a good way to start."

Father and Daughter Ronald & Christina spent this week’s entire episode of The Amazing Race at odds with one another. But they performed just well enough to avoid elimination.

Married ministers Kate & Pat started the leg with one of my favorite quotes in Race history: "We are religious people, but we have no illusions that God cares whether or not we win The Amazing Race."

As teams left Ireland, en route to Amsterdam, there were a limited number of seats available on the first connecting flight out of Dublin. Nick & Don and Ronald & Christina vied for the final pair of standby tickets. When Nick was rude to the ticket agent, Ronald told him off, much to his daughter Christina’s embarrassment. She didn’t disagree with her dad’s sentiment, but she felt his delivery was as brusque as Nick’s had been with the airline worker.

The lecture didn’t seem to make a difference, as Nick & Don were able to board the plane, and Ronald & Christina were forced to wait 90 minutes with the other teams at the back of the pack: Kate & Pat and sisters Marianna & Julia.

When the teams arrived in Amsterdam, they had their choice of Detours: Hoist It or Hunt It. In Hoist It, one team member tied complicated knots around five pieces of furniture and used a rope and pulley system to lift the items several floors. The other team member waited upstairs in an apartment and hauled the furniture in through the window.

In Hunt It, teams searched thousands of bikes for the two marked with labels bearing a particular color pattern. While this was the less strenuous task, it was time consuming and located farther away than Hoist It.

Jason was adept at tying knots, and he and girlfriend Lorena were the only couple to blow through Hoist It. Hippie-guy TK was so bad at tying the knots that he and his wee partner, Rachel, had to swap positions before getting a single item lifted. Rachel had a much easier time with the knots, although she did have to jump off a set of stairs to get some of the furniture off the ground.

Hunting through the bikes was challenging for most teams, especially Ronald & Christina. As soon as they read the Detour clue, Ronald began finding reasons why they couldn’t complete either task.

He told Christina to choose a Detour, but when she picked Hoist It, he complained so much that she decided they should try Hunt It instead. Ronald continued complaining as they searched through the bikes, and when Christina suggested that he think positive, he mocked her.

Upon finishing the Detour, teams were instructed to head to the village of Ransdorp, also in the Netherlands. As they waited for a bus, Ronald lectured Christina that she needed to be more decisive (even though she was the one who had decided on the Detour, until he complained). He then said, "You basically disappointed me." Though these kinds of scenes often occur between dating/married couples on the show, it was much more uncomfortable watching a father berate his daughter unfairly.

Christina stood up for herself, telling Ronald that he was being hard on her. His defense was that "a 58-year-old man is not easy to change" — which missed the point that he’s had 26 years to learn how to be supportive of his daughter.

Christina countered, "In this race, you need to make improvements overnight." Ronald agreed that he would try.

In Ransdorp, teams encountered a Roadblock requiring one team member to pole vault over a ditch filled with water and, presumably, sheep poo. Lorena & Jason, Jennifer & Nathan, and Shana & Jennifer all arrived on the same bus, and Jason, Jennifer, and Shana undertook the tasks for their respective teams.

Just like in the Detour, Jason made the task look easy, landing the vault on his first try. Jason got their clue and vaulted back over the ditch, only muddying his foot a little. He and Lorena hopped on a bakfiets — bikes with wheelbarrows attached to the front — and rode to the Pit Stop, where Phil told them they’d each won a three-wheeled sport bike.

After watching Jason’s seemingly effortless vault, Jennifer encouraged Shana, "It’s easy! Just go!" Shana landed her initial vault, but she went sideways on her return journey and wound up covered head-to-toe in muck. As a helpful Dutchman pulled a mortified Shana from the ditch, she muttered, "I could die."

The next group of teams — Nick & Don, Kynt & Vyxsin, Rachel & TK, and Azaria & Hendekea — soon arrived. Grandpa Don was optimistic after watching Rachel land her first attempted vault. Even after he saw Kynt plummet straight into the drink, Don said, "I think I can do it."

Grandson Nick gave his consent, but he then said to himself, "I think that may be a costly decision." Nick was right, but it was the TV audience and the people of Ransdorp who paid the price. Don landed in the ditch on his first try, and decided that he simply wouldn’t be able to get the necessary amount of lift covered in mud. So he stripped off all of his clothes and continued vaulting in his black bikini briefs.

Don managed to finish before Ronald & Christina and Marianna & Julia arrived at the ditch. Marianna, a track and field athlete, made the vault in one shot. Meanwhile, Christina had a tough go of it. And her father wasn’t making things any easier. Despite Christina’s repeated requests for him to let her concentrate, Ronald harangued her after every failed attempt.

Kate & Pat, who’d been the last team to find their bikes during the Detour, were also the last to arrive in Ransdorp. They reached the Pit Stop after all the other teams and were sent home.

Next week, Ronald & Christina are still on rocky ground, and Lorena has a meltdown while trying to milk a camel.

Donny, Marie, and more than 100 other members of the Osmond family were on Oprah today. Marie’s friend Lisa Hatch updated Marie’s blog with behind the scenes pictures from Monday’s Dancing with the Stars Performance Show. Who knew that Jonathan Roberts had such big guns?

Fans of the movie Somewhere in Time, Jane Seymour has not forgotten you: "Tony and I have already discussed that we are going to come up with a dance to honor Christopher Reeve and the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation to dance a special freestyle dance with lifts to Somewhere in Time."

Mother-of-two Melanie Brown says she’d like to have two more kids, at some point. And Jennie Garth says she’s looking forward to birthing a fourth child, once DwtS is over. Ladies, you’re going to have to aim higher than that if you want to have any hope of beating Marie and her brood of eight in a family softball game.

The first team eliminated from The Amazing Race 12, Ari & Staella, told TV Guide that they finished last after spending almost seven hours trying to get their donkey to walk down a hill. Apparently, the donkey wasn’t impressed by Ari’s singing.

As TV writers end their first week on strike, the networks are looking for the best ways to utilize their reruns, and are even considering importing writers from the U.K.

Finally, A&E has filmed a pilot for a new reality series called Celebrity Garage Sale, in which host Illeana Douglas helps her famous friends organize their junk for a garage sale. According to the Hollywood Reporter: "The pilot features Tom Arnold, whose garage sale is said to have raised $5,000 for Camp del Corazon, a summer camp for children with heart disease."

Celebrity Garage Sale sounds like a credit crisis era response to Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous. I’m only slightly ashamed to admit that I’m totally looking forward to it.

Jean-Robert has a surprisingly bad poker face for a professional gambler — which made it that much more satisfying to watch his expression change when he realized he’d been voted off of Survivor: China.

The entire episode was a tribute to Jean-Robert being woefully out of the loop. Until Jaime tried to play what she incorrectly thought was an Immunity Idol at the last Tribal Council, Jean-Robert was the only person who didn’t suspect the Idols even existed.

James’ opinion of Jean-Robert seemed to be shared by all of the original members of Fei Long: "We just need to keep his dumb ass in line, just because we stuck with him now."

At the Reward Challenge, Jean-Robert and Peih-Gee were randomly chosen as team captains in a two-round competition to swamp the rival team’s boat. Jean-Robert chose James, Todd, and Amanda for his team, while Peih-Gee picked Frosti, Erik, and Courtney. That left Denise sitting on the sidelines, ineligible for the reward.

One team member sat in a tub floating in the water bailing water out of the tub as three members of the opposite team used buckets to toss water into the little boat. Courtney couldn’t out-bail Todd, and then Frosti lost to Amanda. That earned John-Robert’s team the reward.

The reward was a huge lunch in a Chinese village that has been inhabited for 1000 years. The winning team was also given the final clue to the location of the hidden Immunity Idol. They read as a team.

Of course, James, Amanda, and Todd knew the clues were useless at this point — since James already had both Idols — but Jean-Robert read the clues aloud with wonder. He speculated about the possible locations of the Idol, while the other three smiled and nodded at his brilliance.

Back at camp, Jean-Robert couldn’t sleep for excitement over his newly-acquired knowledge. He searched everywhere, eventually ripping off the three plaques that remained on the archways at camp. He figured that one of them had to be the hidden Immunity Idol. For some reason, he didn’t figure that the one space where a plaque was missing was a sign that the real Idol had already been claimed.

After the rest of the Survivors woke up, Todd started talking over a new plan with Amanda: get rid of James before he’s suspicious enough to use one of his two Immunity Idols. But Amanda thought it was too soon to deviate from their plan to get rid of the former members of Zhan Hu.

Todd’s plan also depended on James not winning the Immunity Challenge. And this week’s challenge was definitely not designed for a big, strong guy like James to win. Survivors had to balance while seated on a suspended, water-filled barrel. As water drained from the barrel, it became increasingly unstable.

The barrels were set up over a shallow, muddy swamp, and as the barrels became wobbly, they pitched their riders into the mud, often in a particularly humiliating fashion. Jean-Robert, Denise, and James — the three largest contestants — were the first three to take a dive into the sludge.

The contest came down to nimble Frosti and rail-thin Courtney. For more than 30 minutes, Courtney never wobbled once, and she was able to win her first Individual Immunity Challenge. The Immunity Necklace looked enormous on her small shoulders.

Back at camp, Jean-Robert felt so confident that Fei Long would stick with their plan to vote out Peih-Gee that he bragged to Erik about the Immunity Idol he thought he’d found: "Now that I have it, I look like I’m pretty much guaranteed Top Five for sure."

Erik: "What would you say if I told you that I was pretty sure that you didn’t have the right Immunity Idol?"

Jean-Robert: "I’d say that you probably don’t have as many clues as I do."

Erik explained that he and Jaime had found two plaques in James’ bag: "’There’s two Immunity Idols."

"There’s two Immunity Idols?" asked Jean-Robert.

Jean-Robert then decided to play hardball with his buddy, James. After taking him on a private fishing trip, Jean-Robert told James, "You’ve been holding out on me." James played dumb, but Jean-Robert wasn’t convinced by the act.

Following the fishing trip, Jean-Robert found Todd and said, "Big news, bro. I know where the Idol is. And there’s not just one Idol, there’s two Idols."

Todd: "Are you talking about James?"

Jean-Robert: "How’d you know about that?"

Jean-Robert suggested taking out James, which slightly irked Todd, since he’d come up with that idea the day before. Todd didn’t like the thought of another schemer still in the game. He told Jean-Robert that he’d wait and see how things played out.

Todd told James, Amanda, and Courtney about what Jean-Robert had told him, and warned James that J-R might have Erik, Peih-Gee, and Frosti on his side. Todd suggested taking out Jean-Robert, and James reluctantly agreed.

Amanda was nervous about Todd’s change of strategy: "He’s second guessing himself, and in this game you have to be confident in your choices." But Courtney was pleased for the chance to take out her nemesis, even if she didn’t want to get her hopes up that Jean-Robert might finally be out of her life for good.

They all agreed not to tell Denise, making Frosti the swing voter.

At Tribal Council, the votes were read in the following order:

Jean-Robert
Jean-Robert
Peih-Gee
James
James
James

At this point, James looked absolutely stunned, while Jean-Robert grinned at the major coup he’d staged. His smile faded when Jeff Probst read the next three votes:

Jean-Robert
Jean-Robert
Jean-Robert

Jean-Robert left the game thinking he’d been voted off because "they realized that I was the best player in the game." Watching the season on television should’ve convinced him that his teammates just didn’t like him and were happy to be rid of him.

Next week, the Survivors become increasingly annoyed with each other, and they are presented with another twist at Tribal Council.

Ahead of tonight’s new episode of Survivor: China, here’s an interview with Jaime, who insists that she knew that the "Immunity Idol" she presented at Tribal Council was fake.

Marie Osmond will definitely be returning to Dancing with the Stars after her father’s death. Jennie Garth is looking forward to dancing the Fox Trot and Jive next week, while Helio Castroneves tells TV Guide that he’s having trouble being so far away from his fiancee.

If you’ve ever wondered why country music stars do so well on DwtS, the audience of nearly 16 million for last night’s Country Music Awards should answer that question.

Laila Ali keeps wracking up the hosting gigs. She will co-host American Gladiators with Hulk Hogan when it returns in mid-season.

ABC has yet another dance show in the works. Dance Machine, a competition show for non-celebrity amateurs, starts production in January.

Yahoo! TV has a list of celebrities making guest appearances on your favorite TV shows during November sweeps.

And if you’d like to keep up with news of the WGA strike, Variety has a strike blog. Family Guy’s Seth MacFarlane joined the writers on the picket lines, and said of the possibility of Fox bringing in replacement workers to wrap up episodes near completion: "They could, but it would be unwise. Because I would be angry."

Wispy Jane Seymour explained in TV Guide’s Backstage Report from last night’s Dancing with the Stars Results Show that the reason she always wore voluminous skirts on Dr. Quinn was because she thought she had chunky thighs and a big butt.

Jane writes in her blog that, thanks to DwtS, "I’m in better physical shape now than when I was sixteen." And even though she’s been eliminated from Dancing with the Stars, Jane isn’t through with ballroom yet. Tony Dovolani told People that he’s promised to continue giving Jane lessons when he’s in California.

Julianne Hough is denying rumors that she’s dating Entourage’s Kevin Connolly.

Cheryl Burke told People that her "brother-sister" relationship with Drew Lachey is presenting problems during rehearsal for the upcoming DwtS tour: "He tries to give his input but I remind him that I’m the ballroom dancer and he’s the boybander."

Production on several TV shows was brought to a halt when their actors and showrunners joined striking writers on the picket lines. But don’t get the wrong idea from these photos of Eva Longoria buying pizzas for the strikers. She went to work on Desperate Housewives and then bought the pizzas out of guilt. The pies were greeted with chants of "No justice, no pizza!"

In preparation for a prolonged strike, CBS is looking to bring Big Brother back in the spring instead of waiting until the summer.

And Dog the Bounty Hunter isn’t doing himself any favors by trying to explain his recorded racist rant. In an interview on Fox News, Dog said, "I have used the word for a long time not to mean what it does to a lot of black people that are offended." Sorry, blanco niño. You don’t get to decide when the N-word is offensive and when it’s not.

Jane & Tony were at the bottom of the judges’ leaderboard on Monday night, and the fans agreed with the judges. Dr. Quinn was the latest celebrity eliminated from Dancing with the Stars.

At the top of the show, Tom Bergeron explained that Marie Osmond’s father died this morning, and she was spending the evening with her family. To avoid dragging out the suspense, Samantha Harris announced that Marie & Jonathan were safe and would return to dance again next week.

Then it was time for the judges’ encore. Len Goodman said they wanted to see a repeat of "the dance of the season so far:" Mel & Maks’ Paso Doble.

The dance was followed by a performance by country star LeAnn Rimes. She sang her hit song, "How Do I Live," accompanied by Julianne & Tony, who included some nice tricks in their Rumba.

Then it was time for last night’s studio audience to comment on the performances. One slightly singed woman said of Helio: "I could feel the Brazilian fire coming out of him." Another woman said, "Jane should go home. It’s not about looking good. This is a dance competition."

After the commentary, Tom & Samantha announced that Cameron & Edyta wouldn’t be suffering a repeat trip to the Bottom Two this week; they were safe.

Kenny Mayne’s DanceCenter made its long overdue return next. With the help of Jerry Rice and Len Goodman, Kenny analyzed the prospects of Helio, Jane, and Jennie. Kenny’s blue eye shadow matched his iridescent blue shirt nicely.

The Macy’s Stars of Dance performance of the night was by a bunch of breakers known as the Rock Steady Crew. It was good if you’re into breakdancing, and I enjoyed the guy with the afro doing a solid impression of Rerun from What’s Happening.

Then LeAnn Rimes returned with a performance of her new song, "Nothing Better to Do." DwtS pros Cheryl, Kym, Anna, and Elena danced alongside some other female dancer — perhaps one of the pros from the tour.

DanceCenter followed that performance with their analysis of Mel, Cameron, and Marie, who Kenny said was the mother of 75 children.

A package of clips focused on the celebrities’ reactions to Sabrina’s elimination last week. Marie noted that, unlike previous seasons, the Bottom Two has been different each week: "I don’t see a pattern this year."

At long last, it was time to reveal the fates of the last four couples. Tom told Mel & Maks that they were safe, but Samantha told Jane & Tony they’d have to wait until after the commercial break to find out if they were as well.

When the show resumed, Tom said that they weren’t going to reveal a Bottom Two tonight. He had the judges offer advice to the remaining three celebrities, should they be saved by the fans’ votes.

Len told Helio: "You’re the driver. Julianne is the mechanic. Don’t get the two muddled up."

Bruno told Jane: "In the Latin section, she has to let go of this kind of ‘look and don’t touch.’ Become earthy and fiery — available. Let us have it!"

Carrie Ann told Jennie: "You’re blossoming into quite a beautiful dancer."

Then Samantha announced that Helio & Julianne were safe. Tom reminded the audience, "The two couples before you [Jane & Tony and Jennie & Derek] were not necessarily in the Bottom Two, but one of them did have the lowest total when we combined the judges’ score with your votes this week."

I suspect that Marie & Jonathan were the other couple in the Bottom Two, but the producers decided not add any tension to Marie’s already difficult evening.

Finally, Jane & Tony were told they’d been eliminated. Tom quickly ushered them onto the dance floor, where they danced to "Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone."

At last night’s taping of Dancing with the Stars, Cheryl Burke offered the remaining celebrities (and future contestants) some sage advice: "Give up your day job!" Jennie Garth might have a real advantage by not having to schedule dance rehearsal around professional obligations: "I’m a soccer mom and housewife and proud of it."

Cameron Mathison’s busy, bi-coastal schedule hasn’t left his partner, Edyta Sliwinska, with any time to enjoy the first few months of her marriage to fellow DwtS pro Alec Mazo. Edyta told BuddyTV: "I don’t know how is married life. No idea."

Sabrina Bryan may be off of the show, but her castmates have certainly not forgotten her. Melanie Brown has been giving Sabrina pep talks, and the cast went to a club after last night’s show to watch Mark Ballas and Derek Hough perform with their band, Almost Amy.

There’s a good chance that Marie Osmond won’t be in the studio for tonight’s Results Show. Her father died this morning.

Speaking of Marie, she’s scheduled to be one of the performers on the Dancing with the Stars tour, which kicks off in December. This list of tour dates includes the names of the stars scheduled to perform at each show, with Monique Coleman and Joey Lawrence being the only celebs booked for every tour date.

The writers strike has had an impact on Dancing with the Stars after all. ABC had planned on premiering Cashmere Mafia after the two-hour DwtS finale on November 27, but decided to hold the scripted series for a later date. The finale will move its start time back to 9 ET, and will be preceded by holiday classic A Charlie Brown Christmas.

People can’t get enough of DwtS, and the magazine’s website has a pictorial of The Sexy Men of Dancing with the Stars.

Former DwtS contestant Laila Ali will host a teen makeover show on cable net The N called The N’s Student Body. The show will be taped in the central Illinois town of Decatur.

In other reality TV news, the New York Times has an article about the money people will spend to be on TV.

Finally, I’ve been putting off buying a Playstation 3 because there haven’t been any games released for it that have interested me. But Veronica Mars’s Kristen Bell voices a character in the wicked-looking Crusader epic Assassin’s Creed, so I guess I can’t put it off any longer.