Just Don’t Tell My Mother (Episode 1-5)

This review is brought to you by Wish-Bone Salad Dressing.

It was time for a change on The Apprentice: Martha Stewart. Martha decided to mix up the teams, but it didn’t stop Jim from being obnoxious, or from losing.

The beginning of tonight’s episode took place moments after Dawn’s elimination. Martha called all of the candidates back to the conference room. Ryan and Jennifer were two members of Primarius who hadn’t yet acted as project manager, and Martha selected them to choose the new teams. Jennifer selected Howie, Carrie, Sarah, Bethenny, and Jim for the new Primarius. Ryan picked Dawna, Amanda, Leslie, David, and Marcela for the new Matchstick.

This week’s task was to design and sell salad dressing for Wish-Bone (the salad dressing company, not the dog on PBS). It was kind of a lame task and I didn’t buy Martha’s wistful childhood memories of salad. Kids don’t like salads. Come on.

Anyway, Marcela and Bethenny each created the dressing recipe for their team and everybody else sold the bottles. Jim added to his resume the ability to offend grocery shoppers, one of whom complained to the owner of the store where they were hocking their product. Something about Jim using the F-word. You know, silly stuff like that.

Primarius Redux didn’t make as much money as Matchstick II, and Jim and Jennifer ended up in the conference room. I give Martha credit for not making Jennifer bring a third team member into the room when those two were the only screw-ups. Martha agreed that Jim acted inappropriately, but because Jennifer couldn’t rein him in, she got the boot. A sensible decision, but I’ve been sick of Jim since the first episode and wanted him gone. Hopefully, he’ll be project manager next week and will take the fall when his team can’t function under him.

The show’s best moment came during a commercial break, when Wish-Bone aired a commercial starring Martha’s viceroys, Alexis and Charles. The two sat at a table eating salads and Alexis told Charles that she prefers Wish-Bone to Martha’s homemade salad dressing. Charles reassured her by dramatically pulling out a bottle of Wish-Bone dressing and saying, “Don’t worry. You’re not alone.” Nothing this TV season has made me laugh as hard as that commercial. You can view Alexis Stewart’s Secret Confession at http://www.wish-bone.com/, just like I’ll be doing for the rest of the night.