Week 1: Performance Show

Rock Star’s second season officially kicked off tonight, and host
Brooke Burke was as scantily clad as ever. Evidently, co-host Dave
Navarro spent most of the winter looking up Brooke on the internet. Ah,
how I’ve missed Dave’s creepy banter.

Brooke explained that
voting would begin immediately after the evening’s final performance,
and that, like last season, the three performers receiving the fewest
fan votes would be up for ejection on tomorrow night’s results show.
Then, it was on to the performances:

Storm Large – “Pinball Wizard” by The Who
It’s hard not to sound silly singing this goofy song, but she’s got a strong voice. She’ll be around for a while.

Ryan Star – “Iris” by The Goo Goo Dolls
going for the troubled guy vibe, so it’ll be nice to see him break out
of that at some point, because he’s got tons of potential. Solid vocals
by Ryan and a nice song arrangement by the House Band.

Toby Rand – “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” by Bob Dylan
had the band play acoustic, which just put a spotlight on his constant
vocalizations and scatting. It was like he couldn’t stand to let a
second of music go by without vocals. But the band’s producer, Butch
Walker, said that Toby’s got the kind of voice that records really well.

Patrice Pike – “Somebody to Love” by Jefferson Airplane
did a great job interacting with the House Band. It looked like she was
gonna make out with Raphael. Very strong performance.

Magni – “Satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones
little underwhelming. His Mick Jagger impression looked more like
drunken stumbling. Even the band looked like they’d expected more from
Magni. But points for draping himself all over Brooke as she sent the
show to commercial.

Zayra Alvarez – “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence
got an awful, nasal quality to her voice, and she sounded out of breath
the entire song. Zayra’s pretty enough that Jason Newsted proposed
marriage to her, but that’s the closest she’s gonna get to being a
member of the band. You can be top groupie and never get a sniff of the

Jenny Galt – “This Is How You Remind Me” by Nickelback
stick around, but she needs some better songs. She wasn’t sure on the
notes, but she’s got a poppy, airy quality to her voice that’s pretty
and interesting. And she can can play guitar without looking at the
chords. Hopefully she’ll get another shot.

Josh Logan – “She Talks to Angels” by The Black Crowes
He has no look and did a total vocal imitation of Chris Robinson. There’s only one Mr. Kate Hudson, pal, and you ain’t it.

Matt Hoffer – “Yellow” by Coldplay
really knows how to engage an audience, and his voice was up to the
task–without sounding like a Chris Martin impersonation. It’s too bad
that the song’s pace was a bit slow compared to the rest of the songs
tonight. He should do great next week.

Dilana – “Lithium” by Nirvana
She’s scary. And she sounds like she swallowed razor blades. That said, she’s kind of captivating. And scary.

Dana Andrews – “I’m the Only One” by Melissa Ethridge
resident Southern belle should’ve avoided this song like the plague,
since it’s such a cliched choice for female performers on shows like
this. And she’s young enough that she hasn’t learned how to control her
voice yet. She may be a few years away from lead singer status.

Phil Ritchie – “Cult of Personality” but Living Colour
He sounded ridiculous and looked like a nerd trying to look tough — kind of like when Ryan Gosling was on Young Hercules. It was an embarrasing performance.

Jill Gioia – “Piece of My Heart” by Janis Joplin
is the third Janis Joplin impression of the evening (after Patrice and
Dana). I hope she picks something really different next week. She’s got
killer pipes and good stage presence, so let’s see if she can reach her
full potential.

Chris Pierson – “Roxanne” by The Police
this was terrible. The normally stoic Jason laughed at him throughout
the performance, and Gilby told him he stunk. Butch criticized him for
doing a bad arrangement of the song.

Lukas Rossi – “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol
House Band ruled! The song was a great choice by Lukas, who nailed the
vocals and was controlled chaos onstage. It was the best performance of
the night, rivalling some of the best from last season.

Best of the night: Lukas, Ryan, and Storm.

Worst of the night: Chris, Phil, and Zayra.

Not the best, but deserving of another chance: Jenny, Patrice, and Matt.

My vote goes to Lukas. If he doesn’t get tomorrow night’s encore, I’ll be shocked.