Apprentice L.A.: Episode 7

In the boardroom, Donald Trump managed to turn an otherwise uneventful episode of The Apprentice into a memorable one — thanks to a little help from Derek and Jenn.

This
week’s task was boring: throw a party for Lexus owners to show off a
new car model. Team Arrow, renewed by several days of mansion living,
did just enough to win the task. Bring out a few trays of fancy snacks,
let the fat cats drive the car around the parking lot, and bingo —
easy victory.

It should be noted that Stefani and Frank set the
entire event up themselves, with no help from inept Project Manager
Surya, who was too busy writing strategy notes on a dry erase board to
actually implement any strategy.

Jenn was eager to prove herself
and took the helm as Project Manager of the tent-dwelling Team Kinetic.
The team sat quietly for three hours, at which point “Creative Team
Leader” Angela admitted that she had no ideas for the event.

The
group decided to call their event “The Sixth Sense of Luxury” and
wanted a supernatural theme. So Derek — just throwing out ideas —
suggested go-karts and a magician. For some reason, Jenn agreed.

Kinetic’s
event ran as well as it could have (i.e., terribly). Jenn stumbled
through a presentation about the new car, and then customers weren’t
even allowed to take the car for a spin. Instead, skirt-clad women
tried to demurely wedge themselves into tiny go-karts. Not exactly the
image of luxury Lexus had hoped to present.

Trump’s viceroy for the week, Apprentice 4
winner Randal, announced Arrow’s victory in the Boardroom. The winners
got the chance to rap with Snoop Dogg, although I use the term “rap”
loosely.

In the Boardroom, Trump tried to figure out who to
blame for Kinetic’s loss. Derek admitted to suggesting the go-karts, in
part, he said, because he was “white trash” and didn’t know how to
throw a party for wealthy Lexus owners.

Trump became incensed at
the term “white trash,” called Derek stupid, and fired him on the spot.
But the others weren’t off the hook just yet.

Randal had a
million questions for Kinetic, specifically Angela and Jenn. He
interrupted Trump several times to ask his questions before Trump
finally told him to shut up. Meanwhile, Surya, predictably, said
nothing.

Muna, Kristine, and Heidi all agreed that Jenn’s
decision to use the go-karts was the team’s downfall, and it became
clear that Jenn’s number was up. Trump said to Jenn, “Your team didn’t
have great respect for you.”

Jenn smiled at Trump and said,
“Before you fire me, can I just say one thing? Because I know you’re
about to do it.” Trump allowed Jenn her final words.

Jenn turned
to her team and asked about Trump’s comment that they didn’t respect
her. Heidi spoke for the team and said, “We respect you.”

Trump
said, “Fine. They respect you. Jennifer, you’re fired.” As she stood to
leave, Jennifer said she’d had fun and that her teammates were “great.”

After
a group hug in the driveway, Jenn got in her chauffeured car and drove
off. As she departed, Jenn said cheerfully, “You never know who’s gonna
be the next Apprentice. It’s not me!”

Finally, someone kept this damned show in perspective. As far as I can tell, all that winning The Apprentice allows you to do is fill in as a viceroy when Trump’s kids are busy.

And,
as has been the case in the past few seasons, this season has no real
stars. Heidi and Stefani have shown to have some leadership ability,
and Muna and Kristine have displayed some competence.

But would you hire any of the other jabronis
to mow your lawn, let alone run a company? I don’t think so. How much
value would a victory over these clowns be worth anyway? Jenn correctly
figured the answer: not much.

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