Backstage at Dancing with the Stars
TV Guide and People filed reports from last night’s Results Show. Len Goodman and Alec Mazo told TV Guide that they were concerned about Laila & Maks’ upcoming freestyle routine. Apolo and Joey will have no problem tossing their petite partners about in exciting lifts and tricks, whereas Maks will have to compensate for the fact that Laila is nearly the same height and weight as him.

But Laila gave People a hint that their freestyle might take advantage of one of Maks’ special attributes: "We’re going to bring that sex appeal because he’s hot!"

CBS’ Fall Lineup
CBS announced its fall lineup today, and The Amazing Race wasn’t in the schedule. But fear not, Race fans — TAR will make a midseason return.

Speaking of TAR, MSN City Guides published a guide to all of the finish-line destinations featured on the show.

New Shows Hit the Net
Two cable networks are producing new shows that will run solely on the Internet. TLC’s new show Makeover Train will feature stylists riding the subway to look for passengers in need of a new look. And E! is creating four series that will post new episodes weekly.

SITTING PRETTY

Joey & Kym

Mr. Showbiz — need I say more? Joey delivered two spectacular performances that embodied the perfect blend of dancing expertise and Hollywood razz-ma-tazz. Both dances were chock full of content, captivating floor work and well-rehearsed, eyebrow-raising maneuvers. Without a doubt, Joey & Kym rebounded from last week’s shocking red-light setback with a matched set of over-the-top routines. As Joey claimed in his behind-the-scenes footage, the Fat-One isn’t done singing yet! And I can hardly wait for next week’s follow-up.

Joey’s Fox Trot was light, fun, and floated across the dance floor. The combination of Kym’s Hollywood-themed choreography and Mr. Showbiz’s execution made for an enchanting routine that mesmerized the audience. Kym managed to incorporate moves that played to Joey’s comedic personality, his great sense of rhythm, and his wonderful ability to effortlessly and authentically portray the character of the dance. Joey’s number looked the most polished of all the ballroom routines, both in terms of technique and performance. Like Carrie Ann, I thought it was irrefutably the best of the four ballroom dances.
 
Joey’s Jive was absolutely incredible! It was energetic, infectious and filled with innovative movements and comedic choreography. Joey’s fast footwork, animated facial expressions, and amazing tricks totally sold this routine. The natural exuberance that Joey brings to the dance floor is hard to replicate and difficult for his challengers to surpass. Joey unquestionably captured top spot in this week’s round and deserves to challenge Apolo and Laila for the distinction of being the Last Dancer Standing!
 
Apolo & Julianne

Mr. Excitement ignited the audience with a pair of exceptional routines. Although Apolo fell just short of completing his Mission Impossible task – earning six waves of the #10 paddle – I thought that his Week 9 performances should have ranked second instead of third. Apolo’s charismatic routines were electrifying. And the studio audience was noisily enthusiastic in their appreciation. The quest for this Olympian’s sixth gold remains within reach!
 
Apolo’s Quickstep, the first routine of the night, set the bar at the highest level for this round of the competition. It was fast, fun, and wonderfully entertaining. His exceptional footwork was light, precise, intricate, and flowed across the floor with skillful control and consummate ease. Apolo’s speed, athleticism and cheeky sense of humour were perfectly showcased by yet another of Julianne’s superbly crafted routines. I thought the dance was fabulous and made a profound statement of just how far Apolo has progressed in his transformation into a ballroom dancer. The Apolo Express certainly shot out of the starting gate at full throttle!

Apolo’s Cha Cha was energetic, cheeky, and exploded with electric movements. Julianne’s routine was so sexy that Carrie Ann felt dirty just watching it! Apolo’s flawless technique, swift footwork and total immersion into the character of the dance totally sold this routine. While Len may have labeled his hip shaking and pelvic gyrations as raunchy, I thought his performance was exhilarating. I felt it was equally as good as the Cha Cha delivered by Laila, if not marginally better. Apolo is at the top of his game as the finals approach, and his competitors will have to maintain the pressure if they hope to eliminate this resilient challenger.

Laila & Maks

The Queen of the Dance offered up two more outstanding performances. Laila remains determined to beat the boys to the finish line. Fortunately this week her routines contained enough content and excitement to virtually guarantee her a place in the finals. Laila is a force to be reckoned with, whether in the ring or on the dance floor. Her confidence, strong personality, and admirable work ethic have earned her a well-deserved spot in this season’s finals.

Laila’s Quickstep was fast, smooth, and filled with Cleopatra-themed movements that significantly enhanced the entertainment value of her performance. Laila was light on her feet, relaxed on the dance floor, and provided the audience with a sophisticated — albeit technically basic — version of the Quickstep. However, I didn’t think that some of Laila’s fast-paced footwork exhibited as much control or was as clean as that performed in Apolo’s routine. I also didn’t feel that Laila and Maks complemented each other as dance partners as well as either Apolo or Joey and their respective partners. Although Laila received a perfect score from the judges, in my book her ballroom number ranked third — marginally behind those of Joey and Apolo.

Laila’s Cha Cha was a knockout blend of cheekiness and dancing precision. Her hip movements were wonderfully sensual, her footwork confident, and her delivery technically proficient. Laila exudes allure and magnetism on the dance floor. Although some of her arm movements were still a little loose, overall she brought a polished and captivating routine to the floor. The entertainment component of her performance has evolved nicely and movements that showcase Laila’s playful personality have been successfully integrated into Maks’ choreography. Laila and Apolo, in my opinion, are running nose to nose for the number two spot in the competition.

WAITING TO EXHALE

Ian & Cheryl

A mixed package from Mr. Perfectionist. Ian supplied us with a solid hit and a slight miss in this week’s installment of DwtS. Despite his diligence, Ian’s results rank clearly below the exceptionally high standards set by the other celebrities still competing for the disco ball trophy.

Ian’s Tango was solid, but lacked the pizzazz that his competitors regularly bring to the dance floor. On the plus side, Ian was technically competent in his floor work, appropriately aggressive in his movements, and effectively sound in his execution. Cheryl’s choreography was a perfect fit with their musical selection and included a delightful balance of clipped movements, dramatic poses and sharp footwork. Unfortunately, Ian remains unable to stop mentally focusing on the execution of his dance steps long enough to relax on the dance floor and enjoy the entertainment aspect of his performance. Even his behind-the-scenes instruction from a life coach failed to unleash Ian’s "true" inner self. While I agree with Len that this Tango was Ian’s best routine to-date, unluckily for Ian he is participating in a season that includes three more highly skilled celebrities.
 
Ian’s Elvis-inspired Jive, complete with pompadour, was fun, relaxed, and solidly performed. Finally Ian managed to loosen up and feel the character of the dance. Of course, the audience’s familiarity with the King of Rock and Roll combined with one of Elvis’ most famous recordings, helped reinforce this long-awaited breakthrough. Still, Ian’s kicks were sharp, his footwork precise, and his dance technique competently executed. Ian has certainly done everything humanly possible to retain his spot in the competition. Unfortunately, his connection with his inner-self came too late. 

There will be no Dancing with the Stars threepeat for Cheryl. She and her partner, Ian Ziering, were sent home a week before the Season 4 finals.

When introducing this evening’s encore, Len said that the judges were pleased to have so many great dances to choose from. But only one dance began with one of the stars kissing Carrie Ann on the cheek, so Joey & Kym were asked to reprise their Jive.

Tonight’s musical guest was Enrique Iglesias, and DwtS pros Alec, Edyta, Louis, and Karina danced as Iglesias performed his hit, "Hero." The pros will be performing the same routine on the DwtS summer tour.

The dancing was great, in particular a lovely spin by Louis and Karina. Yet, it was not the most impressive move I’ve ever seen set to the song "Hero"…

The performance was followed by reaction from last night’s studio audience. Jane Seymour (a.k.a. Dr. Quinn) likes Joey: "He really made everybody who doesn’t dance want to dance." One fan suggested that Len’s might improve if he incorporated more bran into his diet.

After the fan segment, Joey & Kym were told that they would be moving on to the finals next week. The rest of the couples were left to sweat it out until the end of the show.

The next performance of the night was by Flamenco star Joaquin Cortes. His dancing was very interesting, although I couldn’t see it becoming a regular part of Dancing with the Stars. The four musicians accompanying the dance were the real highlight of the performance.

Enrique Iglesias then returned to perform a new song, "Do You Know." However, this performance did not feature any dancers.

Two pretaped segments followed the live performances, one featuring the judges’ opinions of the couples, and another featuring the stars’ assessments of their competitors. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much fresh content in either segment. Len told us that the athletes are good at training and the performers are good at putting on a show.

The three at-risk couples took the stage to learn their fate. Laila & Maks were told that they were safe. Apolo & Julianne only had to worry for a moment, as Ian & Cheryl were sent home.

Ian felt that the perfect score he received for his Jive last night was victory enough, and he was just happy to have learned how to dance. A gracious Cheryl said that she considers Ian as much of a winner as her previous champion partners, Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith.

DwtS News
In People’s latest What You Didn’t See article, Monica Rizzo confirms that Laila’s knee problems are so severe, she may be forced to have surgery once the season is through. And Ian’s former co-star Jason Priestley told Jam! Showbiz that he won’t be following in Ian’s footsteps.

TV Guide’s behind-the-scenes report from last night’s show was primarily an interview with Music Director Harold Wheeler, in which he reveals he’s not ultimately responsible for selecting the songs — he just has to try and make them work.

In off-the-dance-floor news, Apolo described his perfect woman to Extra. People is also reporting that DwtS lovebirds Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff are now living together.

ABC’s Fall Schedule
According to the schedule released today, ABC plans to keep Dancing with the Stars on Mondays and Tuesdays when Season 5 starts in the fall. They’ve allotted 90 minutes for each Performance Show, so it looks like the number of couples in the cast should be about the same as this season.

It’s in the Contract
Cynics have always suspected that the "life changing" prizes given by reality shows might not live up to their claims, and here are two cases in which the cynics were right. Andy Denhart writes at Reality Blurred that neither of the previous winners of Fox’s Hell’s Kitchen received the prizes they were promised.

And according to a lawsuit filed against ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, a family of orphaned children was allegedly evicted from the gigantic home their caretakers received through the show. ABC maintains that it had no obligation to help the kids after the episode had been filmed.

Regardless of what happened between the families, ABC is taking the wrong approach to this problem. Instead of settlement with the kids out of court, they’re coming across as a bunch of greedy corporate thugs willing to exploit orphans for profit. Instead of acting like a fairy godmother, the Disney-owned network seems more like a wicked stepmother.

All of the couples were great for the semi-final Performance Show. Heck, the judges thought they were all so good that, even after two dances, the last place couple was only two points shy of a perfect score.

For this semi-final round, each couple had the opportunity to pick two of their favorite dance styles and create entirely new routines — complete with new music and costumes — in those styles. As in previous weeks, the performances were split into a Ballroom Round and a Latin Round.

BALLROOM ROUND

Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough — Quickstep
Song: Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, "Mr. Pinstripe Suit"

Apolo looked very smart with a shorter haircut, and Julianne’s dress was beautiful. The bulk of the routine was a straight Quickstep, and they saved their tricks for the very end. Julianne swung Apolo into a kind of a toss, and he landed on his bum (deliberately, of course). It was a cute performance and a nice way to start the show.

Len was pleased: "I’ve gotta say, it was fantastic. I think you’ve got Restless Leg Syndrome — your feet are so fast!" Bruno agreed, telling Apolo, "Your footwork is incredible." Carrie Ann said, "Thank you for setting the standard way high for the semi-finals tonight."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke — Tango
Song: Nelly Furtado, "Maneater"

Ian’s attempt at projecting a look of strength with his facial expressions looked a little like he was sucking in his cheeks while smirking. That said, this was Ian’s most confident and sexy performance, so far.

Bruno told Ian, "The demon inside is starting to come out. If you make it to the finals… you have to be a little bit cleaner in the placement of your feet." Carrie Ann had some advice as well: "When you travel, you’ve gotta travel like you mean you’re going somewhere, not just put your foot there." Len had no complaints: "That was your best dance! I loved it!"

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…9, Len…10, Bruno…9 = 28/30

Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Quickstep
Song: The Bangles, "Walk Like an Egyptian"

Laila & Maks chose this song because a Cleopatra-style costume would allow Laila to wear flat sandals — a necessity because of her aching knees. While it was certainly an odd song choice for a Quickstep, it was memorable. The tongue-in-cheek song allowed Laila to show a lot of personality, and she did a great job staying up on her toes throughout the performance.

Carrie Ann told Laila, "You bring a whole different sort of vibe to your dancing that I find so unique. It’s so sophisticated, so elegant." Bruno dubbed Laila "Cleopatra Ali — Jewel of the Nile."
Len complimented their Quickstep: "It was a little bit more basic than what we saw from Apolo & Julianne, but in its own way, it was equally as good." Maks said, "Basic is much harder to do." Len wasn’t pleased with the interruption, and responded, "My job is to talk. Your job is to listen." Laila tried to make peace: "I’m sorry for both of us." Len finished his comments by saying, "It was great."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson — Fox Trot
Song: Mary Wells, "My Guy"

Wearing all white, Joey & Kym gave the most polished performance of the night. More than any other routine this season, this performance most closely resembled a show dance I’d expect to see from a pair of pros — at least in terms of its choreographic elements and character. It was charming, crowd-pleasing, and interesting, but free of gimmicks.

Len said, "It’s called American Smooth, and that was so smooth." Bruno agreed: "This was a Fox Trot with perfect Hollywood credentials. I was absolutely enchanted." Carrie Ann told Joey, "You do have what it takes to win this competition. You won the Ballroom Round, hands down."

It’s too bad that Carrie Ann had already given out two 10s, because that left her unable to support her statement with her scores. Her winner of the round could do no better than tie with two other celebs.

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

LATIN ROUND

Before the dances began, Tom Bergeron introduced some clips of Len visiting each of the couples during the week. Since Len used to be a Latin champion, he offered advice on their Latin dances. He showed Ian how to kick and Apolo how to position his feet. He also helped Laila with her arms.

Perhaps his biggest concern was Joey’s butt. He described the way Joey tends to lead with his top half: "Here’s my head. My butt’s coming in a minute."

Joey said he was happy to receive Len’s help, since "he’s been dancing for…what…95 years?"

Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough — Cha Cha Cha
Song: Salt-N-Pepa, "Push It"

It was a good thing this performance came during the second half of the program, because it deserved a PG-13 rating. There was no way to play it safe with a song like this, and Apolo & Julianne definitely didn’t hold back. Apolo did a fine job, but Julianne’s moves were so flashy, it was hard to even focus on her partner at times.

Bruno told Apolo, "You are like a shot of adrenaline." Carrie Ann said, "That was the sexiest Cha Cha I think I’ve ever seen. I felt dirty watching it." Len was impressed by Apolo’s feet, but he felt that "for me, it was too raunchy."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…9, Bruno…10 = 29/30

Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke — Jive
Song: Elvis Presley, "All Shook Up"

Ian dressed up as Elvis. We’re talking a full-on, Las Vegas Elvis impersonator get up, complete with pompadour wig. Somehow, it worked. The costume allowed Ian to really let loose, and he danced with tons of energy and personality. He even ended the routine with a round-off.

Carrie Ann cried out, "Hallelujah! Finally, Ian!" Len told Ian, "You’ve just gotta wear the wig every week." Bruno joked, "I don’t know if you’ve based yourself on Sanjaya or Liberace, but somehow, it works."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Cha Cha Cha
Song: Tom Jones, "She’s a Lady"

The purple costumes were a little to close to the color of a certain friend of the Fry Guys for my taste, but the couple executed a solid routine. The Cha Cha gave them the perfect opportunity to incorporate some funky moves, including Laila’s butterfly maneuver.

Len said of the routine, "It had far more content than I’ve seen in the past. You won me over with the butterfly." Bruno told Laila, "There is no doubt, you are a knockout." Carrie Ann said, "Your technique really shined through."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson — Jive
Song: The Brian Setzer Orchestra, "Jump, Jive, and Wail"

Joey wore a bright yellow jacket that almost eclipsed Kym’s slinky black dress. At one point, Joey appeared to lose his place during a sequence of kicks. I don’t think any of the other couples should even bother to attempt a Jive in next week’s finale; this dance belongs to Joey.

Bruno said the routine had "more tricks than Houdini." Carrie Ann said, "That was fantastic." Len wore Joey’s yellow hat for his comments, and he may have made the censors nervous for a second when he told Joey, "You’ve got something that everyone’s got, but yours is much bigger… Personality!" He concluded by saying, "If you’re not in the final, this show will be missing a great dancer. You should be in the final."

Judges’ Scores: Carrie Ann…10, Len…10, Bruno…10 = 30/30

Leaderboard:
60 — Laila & Maksim, Joey & Kym
59 — Apolo & Julianne
58 — Ian & Cheryl

The majority of my votes this week have to go to Joey & Kym. They gave my two favorite performances, and I think they deserved to be ranked at the top by themselves.

I’ve got to throw a vote to Laila, just for her general fabulousness. Besides, another all-male finale would be a disappointment. And Ian deserves a vote as well, for finally performing as well as many of us always believed he could.

Honestly, everyone did a good job this week. It’s great to see that the season’s four best dancers were also the four who made it furthest on the show.

NBC’s fall lineup. What to expect on tonight’s DwtS. Survivor’s low-rated finale. And a Deadliest Catch captain rescues tourists in his off-time.

NBC’s Fall ScheduleNBC was the first network to present their fall TV Schedule this week. Of course, the schedule may change as rival network’s announce their own schedule’s throughout the week.

DwtS News
Cheryl Burke posted at her TV Guide Celebrity Blog that she and Ian Ziering will be performing the Tango and Jive at tonight’s Dancing with the Stars Performance Show. A post at Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s forum said that he and Laila Ali will be doing the Cha Cha Cha and the Quickstep.

Bruno Tonioli gave his assessment of the final four couples to USA Today.

Survivor’s Falling Ratings
The finale of Survivor: Fiji was watched by 13.54 million people — making it the least watched Survivor finale ever. I can’t help but wonder if ratings suffered because Jeff Probst leaked the biggest story of the season well ahead of time: that Dreamz would make a controversial decision. Since Dreamz’s options were keeping his word or not, and keeping his word wouldn’t be so controversial, there couldn’t be much doubt as to what Dreamz had decided to do.

Captain Painter to the Rescue
Blake Painter, who captains the Maverick on The Deadliest Catch, helped transport passengers off of the cruise ship that crashed in Alaska late last night.

As for other Deadliest Catch rescues, I finally caught the episode entitled "Cheating Death," in which the Time Bandit pulls a crewman from another ship out of the water alive. After starting the season with three deaths, it was incredibly moving to see how Captain Johnathan Hillstrand’s expert piloting and the crew’s safety training enabled them to save a life .

The episode airs again on May 28. If you haven’t seen it, I can’t recommend it enough.

Survivor: Fiji’s winner was announced tonight. Shockingly, it wasn’t the season’s challenge hound and master strategist, Cassandra.

The castaways didn’t get a break, as they had to participate in another Immunity Challenge the day after Stacy’s ouster. The challenge was a maze the size of a football field, split into five sections. Before completing each section of the maze, each contestant had to find a key and unlock a drawbridge.

And it all had to be done blindfolded.

Cassandra and Earl were out of the contest early, and it was up to Boo and Dreamz to catch Yau-Man. They never could, and Yau-Man won immunity at a critical juncture. It meant Yau-Man was in the Final Four, and Boo was back on the chopping block.

At camp, Boo tried to convince Yau-Man and Earl that he was totally beatable in the final Tribal Council, and that Dreamz wasn’t.

Boo brought those issues up at Tribal Council as well, reminding everyone that Dreamz’s impoverished background was likely to earn him sympathy votes in the final Tribal Council. Dreamz explained that he hadn’t disclosed his past to earn sympathy votes, but Boo countered that Dreamz would get those votes anyway.

After the votes were cast, Earl played his hidden Immunity Idol, even though he wasn’t in any danger. It was the last opportunity for the Idol to be used, so there was no point in holding on to it.

Boo was voted out. In his parting words, he said that he respects Yau-Man on "many different levels." He also said that it would be funny if Dreamz broke his agreement with Yau-Man.

(In case you missed it, a few episodes back, Yau-Man gave Dreamz a truck in exchange for Dreamz’s promise to give Yau-Man the Immunity necklace, should Dreamz win the Final Four Immunity Challenge.)

The following morning, Earl said he and Yau-Man will be friends for a lifetime: "An older Chinese guy and a young black guy — friends. Who’d’ve ever thought? That’s like Rush Hour."

Then, the gang embarked on the traditional "Torches of the Fallen" tour on their way to another Immunity Challenge. The video of the tour was more like a blooper reel, with footage of Lisi tripping, Michelle falling off the platform, and Boo’s hammock collapsing.

When the gang arrived at the challenge, Jeff Probst took the Immunity necklace from Yau-Man. Dreamz told him, "You’ll get it back." Then Jeff told them that this was to be their last Immunity Challenge, and that three of the four would compete in a final Tribal Council.

Unlike final challenges of the past, which tended to favor women by testing stamina and balance, this was a challenge designed for a man to win. Each survivor had to lie on an elevated plank tilted at a 35 degree angle, and hang onto a bar — something that required a lot of upper body strength. A barrel of water attached to the top of the plank emptied a stream of water onto the contestants’ heads and hands, continuously.

Every five minutes, the planks were tilted five degrees steeper. After an hour, the planks would be standing perpendicular at 90 degrees.

After 15 minutes, Jeff tilted the planks to 50 degrees, and Cassandra slipped off of her bar. Earl and Yau-Man lasted another five minutes before both of them lost their grips, and Dreamz won the final Immunity of the game.

Jeff pointed out to Dreamz, "You have fulfilled part of the bargain you made with Yau-Man."

Earl was glad Dreamz won, since he was certain that Dreamz would keep his bargain with Yau-Man — meaning that Earl wouldn’t have to vote against his best friend in the game. But Dreamz wasn’t sure about giving up a guaranteed spot in the finals: "$1 million or keeping my word. I could use both of ’em."

At Tribal Council, Yau-Man was still hopeful that Dreamz would live up to his end of the bargain.
"Whatever you do," he told Dreamz, "you have to live with it."

But, after a day of talking about showing his son the importance of keeping promises, Dreamz decided to keep Immunity for himself.

The move shocked Earl, who decided that he had no choice but to vote for Yau-Man (who would be his toughest competition in the Final Three). Dreamz and Cassandra did so, as well, and Yau-Man left the game without either $1 million or a $60,000 truck.

The following morning, Cassandra looked forward to getting back to civilization: "We’ve spent 39 days in the same underwear. Actually… I discarded my underwear about three weeks ago."

And Dreamz described what it felt like being so close to winning $1 million: "I feel like I’m standing next to Oprah!"

At the final Tribal Council, Earl gave the best opening statement, saying that he wanted the jury to vote for him out of respect, not for sympathy (Dreamz) or because he was the underdog (Cassandra). Dreamz mentioned that he was poor — but, you know, not because he wanted any sympathy votes. Cassandra’s speech prompted everyone to daydream, including me.

Then it was time for the jury to ask their questions. Michelle asked all of the finalists what their biggest obstacle was during the game, and Cassandra said it was her inability to swim. Michelle asked, "Do you think your fear of water earns you $1 million?"

Edgardo had only one question, and asked Earl how he found out that Mookie had one of the hidden Immunity Idols. Earl answered, "Dreamz."

Then, Alex the Attorney took the floor, and tried to do his best Jack McCoy impression — and failed. He asked Cassandra to "describe a moment where you grappled with your integrity," but when she didn’t give the answer he wanted, he blew up at her. As she tried to explain herself, he shouted, "Stop talking! Is that not clear to you, Cassandra, that I said ‘stop talking?’ Maybe I should say it in Spanish."

He continued to be a tremendous asshole when he turned his attention to Dreamz. "Riddle me this, Dreamz," he began, and wanted to know how lying was setting a positive example for "the kids you and I are trying to help." He closed by saying, "You can’t hide from karma forever, ‘my friend’" — and he actually made the air quotes hand gesture.

Alex, if you’re trying to encourage kids to be total douchebags, you’re doing a great job.

Another genius, Lisi, was up next. Somehow, Lisi was able to convince herself that Cassandra’s ugly water shoes made her a greedy liar. Cassandra spoke for everyone with a brain when she said, "I don’t see the relevance in the question."

Then Lisi asked Dreamz how many zeroes were in the number one million. She acted surprised when Dreamz gave the correct answer (six), and Dreamz asked her, "What? Did you think I’m stupid?"

Because telling the truth would have revealed her own idiocy in asking such a mean, stupid question, Lisi answered nonsensically, "I’m a part of the jury. This is part of my game."

Stacy made the most interesting observation of the night when she told Earl "the only real difference that I see between you and Dreamz is that you’re a little more sophisticated." She said that, because of Earl’s college education, she was sure he’d be able to take care of himself even without $1 million — whereas Dreamz might not fare as well. She asked Earl if she should base her vote on need.

Earl said, "I’m not supposed to feel bad because I have a job. I had a tough upbringing, and I worked hard." He told her to vote on how they played the game because "we all need it."

Rocky asked each contestant how they were manipulative, and he became annoyed with Cassandra when she wouldn’t give him a specific example.

Boo was frustrated with Dreamz for going back on his word with Yau-Man, and he wanted Dreamz "to be able to tell the devil, ‘Dangle all the money you want in front of me. This Christian is not for sale!’"

Yau-Man told Dreamz that he could keep the truck, but asked him to explain why he changed his mind about handing over the necklace. "Yau-Man, I didn’t change my mind. I was playing the game," replied Dreamz. But Yau-Man didn’t seem convinced that the erratic Dreamz had planned to back out on the deal the whole time.

Then Yau-Man asked Earl, "Why would you [vote against me and] not want to take me to the next level?"

Earl answered, correctly, "The reason I would not want to go against you is because I would not win. Because you played the best game by far."

Jeff brought the votes into the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York to reveal this season’s winner. In the first-ever unanimous vote, Earl was declared the winner.

Earl confessed that, once Yau-Man left, he’d known what would happen: "When Dreamz reneged on that deal, I thought, Wow, I just won a million dollars!"

4. Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke
Based on some of what I’ve heard (including some of the comments left in the Results Show recap), it seems a lot of the votes cast for Ian were more a vote against Billy Ray than proof of Ian’s popularity. It was unlikely that Billy Ray could get enough votes to defeat Joey, Laila, or Apolo, so all the anti-BRC contingent had to do was make sure that Ian survived.

Ian’s been a good sport, and he’s improved immensely. But he’s just not one of the top three dancers. Cheryl’s shown that she can take any student close to the top, if not all the way. Even if they leave without a trophy, their season should hardly be considered a failure.

3. Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson
Joey’s exhibited showmanship and top-notch dance skills. But, after seeing former boy banders and child stars with previous dance training last to the end in previous seasons, fans enjoy seeing a true novice win (like Emmitt did last season).

With two highly talented, novice dancers like Laila and Apolo left in the competition, there may be no room for Joey in the final dance-off.

2. Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Laila has a good shot at winning, but everything depends on what she and Maks do this week. The lengthy intro and outro portions of their most recent performances were a bad idea, and they couldn’t have come at a worse time. She and Maks need to get on the same page and create two routines that show who Laila is and why she’s the best dancer — and they need to do so every second that they’re on the floor. Resting her head on a pillow for one-third of a routine won’t get it done.

Laila’s got one other hurdle to overcome: a show audience comprising mostly women. Taking into consideration that the two best celebrity dancers are pretty close in terms of talent level, I suspect the inner teenagers in many casual viewers — though not our discerning MOIB readers, of course — will nudge them to vote for a cute boy over another woman, unless the woman is clearly superior.

(In Season 2, I was almost relieved when Drew Lachey’s Freestyle was so much better than the horrible routine Tony choreographed for Stacy Keibler, because, even had Stacy matched Drew, I think she still would have come in third — which would not have been good for the show.)

I hope I’m wrong about all this, but it’s hard to ignore that last season’s three finalists were all men, and four of the first five contestants voted out this season were women. Luckily for Laila, she does have a cute guy — with some rabid fans — as a partner (though fat lot of good that did Paulina this season). Also in Laila’s favor, she has a great attitude and a good sense of humor off the dance floor.

For every dance from here on out, Laila and Maks need to make sure that everyone watching knows that she deserves the trophy more than anyone else. They need routines that makes viewers think, "I like the guys, but I can’t in good conscience vote for anything but that!"

1. Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough
They’re so solid, there’s not much to say. Apolo & Julianne have seemed unstoppable for weeks. Apolo’s been a quick learner, and (even as a rookie) Julianne’s been this season’s best choreographer. She should be able to create a great Freestyle routine, and if she does, Apolo will probably have to clear some space in his trophy case.

Fall 2007 Renewals
A few more shows from this season have been renewed, while some old stalwarts may be on the way out. Friday Night Lights is back, and Notes From the Underbelly likely will be as well. But Crossing Jordan is out, and it could be followed by Law & Order and Scrubs.

(Update: NBC has just announced that it will bring back Scrubs. A smart move. Even if the ratings aren’t great, the show should do well in syndication and on DVD.)

This article at Yahoo!TV also describes a number of new shows in the works.

SYTYCD’s Schedule
So You Think You Can Dance is back, and its first episode airs Thursday, May 24, at 8 EDT on Fox. The finale is slated for August 16. The full schedule is featured at BuddyTV.

Avoid Foreclosure
There’s no safer real estate investment right now than investing some time in watching the myriad house-flipping and house-selling shows on cable. Gary Strauss at USA Today complied a list of 16 of the most popular real estate shows.

While House Hunters International is great because it makes moving to Costa Rica look both fun and affordable, nothing is better than the beating the amateurs on Property Ladder take for their hubris. Newbies buy dumpy houses in bad areas, and are shocked when the plumbing projects they’d planned to save money on by doing it themselves wind up taking 3 months and can’t pass inspection.

The lesson: it’s almost always faster and cheaper to hire a professional.

Fashion Disasters
Kat Giantis of MSN Movies had a field day with some of the garish get-ups celebrities wore to the Costume Institute gala at the Met. Click here to see the unflattering photos, and enjoy the hilarious commentary while you’re at it.

After Dreamz told his tribemates that none of the plans he’s previously suggested have worked, what made them think that his latest scheme would?

This week’s episode of Survivor: Fiji started with another example of the season’s predominant theme: dumb guys erroneously thinking they are clever. Boo created a secret path to the water well by matting down some long grasses. This way, if anyone came to the well to talk about a plan to vote him out, he’d be able to eavesdrop. He wouldn’t be able to do anything about their plan, but at least he’d know about it ahead of time.

While Boo was off creating his hiding place, everyone was back at camp (not the water well) talking about how they were going to get rid of him. Great plan, Boo.

The castaways got a piece of Tree Mail later that morning, with information about that day’s Reward Challenge. The reward was a new Ford F-350 pickup. Dreamz couldn’t stop talking about the fact that he was the only player who didn’t already own a car, and he all but begged his tribemates to let him win.

The challenge itself had two parts. For the first part, survivors were divided into two teams of three. Each team had to complete an obstacle course while attached to each other by a rope: navigate a series of see-saws, climb through a cargo net tower, uncover a buried hatchet, and chop a rope holding a crate over the pickup’s truckbed.

The first team to cut through their rope would get to take part in a reward activity, after moving on to the second part of the challenge to see who’d get the truck.

Earl, Cassandra, and Dreamz made up one team, Yau-Man, Stacy, and Boo the other. Earl and Dreamz put Cassandra in the middle and held her hands to steady her as they walked over the see-saws. Yau-Man fell off the see-saw several times, forcing his team to start over from the beginning, and allowing the other team to gain a big lead.

But once Yau-Man’s team final made it through the see-saws, they made up ground quickly. Boo pulled the much tinier Stacy and Yau-Man through the cargo-net tower, and then he ended up digging up their hatchet first.

Earl, Cassandra, and Dreamz sat out the next part of the challenge. The first finalist to throw an axe and chop through two ropes would be the winner.

Stacy didn’t have a prayer, under-throwing her target almost every time. Boo got the first cut, and Yau-Man soon followed. A few throws later, Boo grazed his second rope, but not enough to cut it. Yau-Man pounced on the opportunity, cut his second rope, and won yet another challenge.

Immediately, Yau-Man asked Jeff if he could make a deal. Jeff allowed it. Yau-Man told Dreamz he would give him the truck. However, in the event that Dreamz made it to the final four and won that Immunity Challenge, Dreamz would have to give his Immunity Idol to Yau-Man.

The deal depended upon Dreamz keeping his word, but if any of the remaining castaways would, it would be the childlike Dreamz, who (though unreliable) has tried to appease his elders, like Earl, Cassandra, and Yau-Man.

Dreamz said, "Yes!" without a second’s hesitation.

Yau-Man tossed the keys to Dreamz, who took Yau-Man’s spot next to Boo and Stacy. Since Yau-Man won the challenge, he also got to decide who would go to Exile Island. So Yau-Man picked himself.

A stunned, but amused, Jeff Probst said, "Yau-Man, you’re the first person in the history of Survivor to go from winning a truck, to not having a truck, to going to Exile Island. Boat’s waitin’ for ya."

Dreamz then got to put his new truck to use. Boo and Stacy piled in, and together they drove a crate of supplies and a trailer outfitted as a copy room/office/teacher’s lounge to a small, nearby school. Then, they got to eat a huge lunch with a classroom full of adorable Fijian kids.

Dreamz talked with some of the kids, who wanted to know if he liked Fiji. "It’s warm here. You ever been to America? It’s real cold over there."

The scholastic environment must have stimulated Dreamz’s mind. As he finished eating, he started thinking: "If I give Yau-Man Immunity off of my neck, then I’m gone. So the best thing for me to do is to get rid of him before he makes the final four." This plan would keep Dreamz from breaking his word to Yau-Man once at the final four. It was a pretty clever idea, actually.

It seemed like it wasn’t long after the winners returned before it was time for the Immunity Challenge. With each player standing on platforms just above the level of the water, they had to toss a ball connected to a rope through a metal ring, and then pull the ring and beam to which it was connected toward them.

The beam then served as a balance beam, which they crossed to the next platform. The first four across moved on to Round 2, and the top two from that round moved on to a final round.

Boo and Dreamz had the easiest time advancing to Round 2, and they were joined by Earl and Yau-Man (Cassandra actually tossed her ball and rope into the water and lost time swimming out to retrieve it).

It was no surprise when the two challenge fiends — Boo and Yau-Man — moved on to the final round. Boo won Immunity, ruining the alliance’s hopes for an easy elimination.

When the tribe returned to camp, Yau-Man told Earl about the newest clue to the whereabouts of the other hidden Immunity Idol; it was in a hollow pine tree. Earl went off to search for the idol, and Yau-Man went back to camp to gather information.

While Yau-Man and Earl were gone, Dreamz pulled Stacy and Cassandra aside and gave them this pitch: "Any plan that I’ve planned hasn’t worked out so far. But we gotta take Yau out."

Dreamz reasoned that Yau-Man would save his Hidden Immunity Idol until the next Tribal Council, because he believed everyone (save Stacy herself) was unanimous about voting out Stacy. That meant this was the tribe’s best chance to blindside Yau-Man.

Stacy, of course, was on board right away — and presumably so was Boo, once they told him. Cassandra was concerned that, if their plan backfired, she would’ve burned her bridges with the two men who’d gotten her this far in the game: Yau-Man and Earl. But her need to protect Dreamz (and her desire to get rid of Yau-Man) was paramount, so she agreed to the plan and kept it secret from Earl.

Yau-Man made the rounds, confirming with his alliance members that they’d be voting for Stacy (their original second choice after Boo). But he noticed that when he talked to Dreamz, Dreamz kept thanking him for the truck — almost as if he were saying goodbye.

When Earl returned from his hunting, Yau-Man told him, "I have bad vibes." But there was no need to worry — Earl had found the other Immunity Idol. Now they had two Idols between them, enough to save themselves until the final four, since Earl hasn’t seemed to be anyone’s target for elimination.

At Tribal Council, Stacy said just enough to confirm Yau-Man’s fears. She didn’t seem as worried as she should’ve been, and she said of that night’s vote, "I don’t think that it’s all gonna be a vote one way or the other. I think it’s gonna be split."

After the votes were cast, Jeff asked if anyone was going to use an Immunity Idol. Yau-Man waited a painfully long time before standing up and handing one of the Hidden Immunity Idols to Jeff. At that point, Stacy looked at her feet, and Dreamz put his face in his hands.

The four votes for Yau-Man were invalid, so the two votes for Stacy were the only ones that mattered. Chagrined, Stacy said, "Tonight I gambled… and I was out-voted."

The Survivor: Fiji finale takes place at 8 EST on Sunday night, followed by the Reunion Show at 10. And, contrary to what the promos say, all of your questions will not be answered.