The Networks Miss You
Apparently, people are not watching as much TV as they used to, according to traditional measurement standards. CNN featured an interesting report about the decline in prime-time viewership, and the rise in the number of people recording and downloading shows — an advertisers worst nightmare.
Generally, the only shows I watch live are competitive reality shows — DwtS, Survivor, The Amazing Race. I almost always record or download shows like Veronica Mars, Smallville, Supernatural, and Heroes.
One method of TV viewing that the CNN article doesn’t mention is DVDs. After each new TV season, Greg and I wait to see which shows that we missed have the best buzz surrounding them. Then we take a mini-vacation and watch the entire season on DVD over the course of a few days. We’ve done that with The Wire, Battlestar Galactica, and the first season of Veronica Mars. For $50 per DVD set (or less, if your local library is up to snuff), it’s one of the cheapest vacations you can take.
Get the Band Back Together American Idol is branching out from individual singers to musical groups. They’ve put together a new show entitled The Search for the Next Great American Band. There’s apparently no upper age limit for contestants apply, so you may finally be able to make those high school dreams of yours come true — even if you’ve now got grandkids in high school.
BRAINS!
In honor of this weekend’s release of the film 28 Weeks Later, MSN featured an interesting retrospective of important zombie films. It unfortunately neglected to mention the wonderfully titled not-so-classic flick, I Eat Your Skin — although it did give a nice synopsis of the pre-Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson film, Dead Alive.
Meanwhile, In Important Pizza Beard News
If you’re an NBA fan, you should be watching the the Golden State vs. Utah series — which has given us the best basketball of the postseason, so far. If you’re not an NBA fan, you can watch and show your support for Golden State point guard Baron Davis, who is totally dedicated to growing his own Oreo Pizza Beard:
DwtS News People filed a report from last night’s Results Show, in which Julianne Hough clarified a rumor that she’d called off her engagement to former ballroom dancer Zach Wilson. Apparently, they’ve just postponed the wedding.
Julianne, sweetie. You’re an 18-year-old in Hollywood, and you’re on your way to being the new "It Girl." Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are out of rehab and lookin’ for a new best friend. I’d put the wedding on hold for a couple of years. Now’s the time when you’re supposed to be irrevocably ruining your life.
In TV Guide’s behind-the scenes report, Billy Ray Cyrus said that he’d hoped dancing would get easier for him once he’d gained some experience, but it never did.
MOIB reader Mandy pointed out that this weekend’s new E! True Hollywood Story is about Dancing with the Stars. The episode premieres Saturday night at 6 EST, and reruns will air throughout the next week.
Drive Goes Out with a Bang
Fans of Nathan Fillion can catch the final two episodes of Drive when Fox airs them back-to-back on July 4th. If you’re like me, and you think that untrained goons armed with low-grade explosives and a neighborhood full of howling dogs are not a recipe for a happy holiday, this is the perfect excuse to stay indoors on Independence Day.
Virtual Big Brother
Electronic Arts has paired with Endemol, the company that produces Big Brother, for a project called Virtual Me. Players will be able to create avatars of themselves and participate in an online version of Big Brother. EA hopes to eventually expand Virtual Me with online versions of Deal or No Deal and other competitive reality shows.
Billy Ray & Karina’s ouster may have been predictable, but the whole cast appeared to be shocked by the couple that joined them in the Bottom Two.
To start the show, Tom Bergeron joked that, after last night’s antics, the judges were "held prisoner in a spa, just so they’d chill out." Len Goodman awarded the encore to Apolo & Julianne, for their perfect-scoring Paso Doble.
Nelly Furtado was tonight’s musical guest, and pros Tony & Elena danced to Furtado’s hit, "I’m Like a Bird."
The performance was followed by Samantha Harris interviewing a few of the couples backstage. Billy Ray was no longer upset about the judges comments, and he said, "Tonight is a celebration. I’m so happy to be here."
Then, last night’s studio audience offered their own opinions of the performances. That other guy from ‘N Sync had a prediction: "Ian might be in the Bottom Two. I just know that Joey won’t."
The highlight of the night was a brother versus brother dance-off between Maksim and Valentine Chmerkovskiy, accompanied by Karina and (Val’s competition partner) Valeriya Kozharinova. Maks has been Val’s primary coach for most of his life, so watching them dance side-by-side is like watching a couple of clones. The performance was totally entertaining — and Val had better turn pro soon, so that he can join the cast of DwtS.
Then it was time for another performance by Nelly Furtado. Pros Cheryl and Louis danced to a new Furtado song, "All Good Things" (which, despite my husband’s insistence, is not about the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode of the same name).
After announcing that Billy Ray & Karina were in the Bottom Two, Ian & Cheryl were told they were safe. That meant that one of the three teams to have earned a perfect score this season would be in the Bottom Two.
After a taped segment in which the stars talked about how hard it was to see their friends eliminated each week, it was time to find out which one of them was in danger. Laila & Maks and Apolo & Julianne were both safe, leaving Joey & Kym in the Bottom Two.
At that news, all of the couples looked positively confused. Joey & Kym’s drop to the Bottom Two should be a wake up call for all of the remaining dancers. You never know exactly how the fans will vote.
Billy Ray & Karina, who expected to be eliminated, were told they’d be leaving the show. Billy Ray asked the audience to give Karina a round of applause, and then Tom introduced a montage of clips of Billy Ray’s performances. I’m assuming that this will become a regular feature of the Results Show, and wasn’t just a special thing for Billy Ray.
The couple danced their final dance to REM’s "Everybody Hurts" — a song so dreadfully melancholy it wasn’t as ironically humorous as most of the Results Show outro songs.
With the semifinals looming closer, the heat is on for each of the remaining couples to secure their spot on the dance floor. Once again the stars had to deliver two brand new dance routines, first Ballroom, then Latin. Several of the pairs had a difficult time trying to please the entire judging panel and opted to entertain the fans instead. Here’s my take on Week 8 of DwtS.
CATCH US IF YOU CAN
Apolo & Julianne
Another golden evening for the popular Olympian. Last week’s negative judges’ comments motivated Apolo to return to the dance floor as an even stronger and more determined competitor. Week 8’s double whammy performances definitively confirmed that Apolo is more than up to the challenge. There is no way that this Olympic athlete is prepared to concede his top spot without a fight.
Apolo’s Tango was intense, sharp and flawlessly executed. From my perspective, his floor coverage and footwork were exceptional, and the routine was jam packed with complex content. Julianne’s choreography was electric. I marvelled at how she managed to incorporate so many exciting steps into their number and at how Apolo executed them with such synchronization and polish. In my opinion, Len was totally off-base with his criticisms. I thought this routine was the best Ballroom dance of the night!
Apolo’s Latin routine, the Paso Doble, was dramatic, intense and totally deserving of a high score (maybe not perfect, though). The dance was full of energetic content, aggressive floor coverage and sharp movements.
Julianne is a master at designing routines that showcase Apolo’s quick footwork and excellent timing. He has certainly transformed himself into a competent ballroom dancer. Apolo’s consistently superior performances must be giving his competitors a goatee-ache!
Joey & Kym
A well-timed shift into turbodrive by the N’Sync showman. Joey continues to maintain his pace with the pack leaders. This week he delivered two solid, entertaining, and challenging routines that placed him in an ideal position to zoom across the finish line.
Joey’s Waltz was elegant, technically solid and chock full of content. I loved it, even though I broke out in a grin partway through, when the number almost verged on becoming cheesy. Once again Kym choreographed a lovely routine that fit Len’s desire for a no tricks, straight-up, professional performance. Joey’s execution was flawless, his floor coverage excellent, and his chemistry with Kym just short of perfection. Unfortunately, Bruno and Carrie Ann missed Joey’s razzle-dazzle touch. I thought the duo delivered exactly what they promised and deserved 9s across the board.
Joey’s Mambo was packed with intricate moves, clever underarm turns, and razzle-dazzle choreography. What a sharp contrast to his prim and proper ballroom routine! I thoroughly enjoyed this number. It was fun, fast and funky with lots of hip shaking thrown in the mix.
Joey’s relaxed attitude on the dance floor (thanks to his N’Sync roots) translates to an entertaining performance for the audience. Joey is clearly as committed as Apolo to being the first one to cross the finish line. However, unlike Carrie Ann, I don’t believe that he already has it in the bag!
Laila & Maks
A theatrical combination from the Last Woman Standing. Laila’s Week 8 routines clearly leaned more towards the entertainment spectrum than the purist dance one. Unfortunately, Maks’ interpretations cut valuable dance content from his choreography, in favour of viewer appeal. The judges did not appreciate his efforts, but the studio audience seemed receptive enough.
Laila’s Waltz was the epitome of elegance. It was classy, poignant and told a story from its dreamlike beginning to its touching ending. Laila’s extended hand kiss to her father, halfway through the number, was seamlessly built into the dance and provided us with a profound DwtS moment.
While the routine was beautifully executed and showed lovely rising and falling movement across the floor, I have to agree with Len that Maks wasted some valuable time by not including more content at the beginning or conclusion of the dance. Still, Joey and Apolo have been guilty of similar choices, without suffering excessively harsh penalties. Laila’s across-the-board 9s demonstrated that the judges’ critical comments were not unduly reflected in their scoring.
Laila’s Jive was fast, fun and spunky. In keeping with their more theatrical theme for Week 8, Maks opted to tell a story with his choreography. I thought the number was cute, clever and comically entertaining. There was lots of fancy footwork, quick kicks, and brazen playing to the audience.
Laila looked relaxed and well prepared, performing her steps with a natural ease that Ian would do well to emulate. Better Laila as a role model than Billy Ray! For once, I thought the judges’ scores were exactly right. This pair definitely deserves to advance to the semi-finals.
FAILURE TO LAUNCH
Ian & Cheryl
A less-than-perfect combination from the Beverly Hills 90210 perfectionist. Ian still didn’t look comfortable on the dance floor. Despite his luminous smile, he appeared stiff, his routines lacked authenticity, and he was unable to forge a tangible connection with his partner. With only five couples remaining, Ian is in serious danger of being derailed.
Ian’s Fox Trot was entertaining but lacked the smoothness that the judges were seeking. He seemed overly self-aware, his arm movements were underextended, his floor work was skippy, and his footwork was slightly off. I found the routine somewhat slow in spots and felt that he was forcing rather than feeling his character.
I did, however, notice that Cheryl filled the entire musical selection with dancing content. There were no gimmicks, walking together intros or walking apart endings that some of the other pairs throw in as filler to reduce the length of their routines. I thought Ian’s marks were rather low, considering the quality of the dance that he delivered and the scores that Billy Ray’s Mambo received.
Ian’s Latin number, the Rumba, was solid but average. Again, Ian failed to exhibit the passion and intensity crucial for realistic interplay with his partner. While his hip action was good, his footwork was competently executed and the pair’s poses showed lovely lines, the dance lacked naturalness that Ian needed to effectively connect with the audience. Instead Ian was rather stiff, his arm movements lacked extension and he seemed to overthink the steps.
Regrettably, Ian is just not in the same league as the top three contenders. And, at this point, I don’t expect him to pull through and complete the final circuit.
Billy Ray & Karina
Two more dreadful routines from the Crazy Bear. The time for Billy Ray’s hibernation has definitely arrived! Let’s face it — Hanna Montana’s dad cannot dance! No matter how much positive visualization he indulges in, the goods are just not there.
Even Bruno has turned against Billy Ray — in a boldly insensitive manner. I would sooner see the judges award the scores that the routines deserve rather than verbally demean the celebrities. Bruno crossed the line with Billy Ray by labeling what he did as "crap." While I may find his dancing appalling, Billy Ray deserved more respect than was conveyed by Bruno’s description.
The best thing about Billy Ray’s Foxtrot was the music. His delivery of the routine lacked content, rhythm, smoothness, and proper technique. According to Len, Billy Ray did everything the exact opposite of what was conventionally acceptable: he went up instead of down, used his heels instead of his toes, and danced the right steps at the wrong time. A good portion of the dance, Billy Ray spent walking around the floor, and another substantial portion was taken up with Karina dancing circles around him. The judges should have awarded him the 4s he deserved. This routine was scored way too high!
Billy Ray’s Mambo was almost painful to watch. His hip action was terrible; his footwork was awkward, with no rhythmic content; and his arm movements were simply sloppy. I could find no entertaining elements in his performance whatsoever.
Yet again, the judging panel opted to further this celebrity’s delusion by awarding him higher scores than his dancing deserved. Still, in some small way, I begrudgingly admire Billy Ray for having the courage to show up week after week and complete his simplistic routines. I just hope that Week 8 marks his last installment.
DwtS News
Here are links to two reports from backstage at last night’s Dancing with the Stars Performance Show: one from TV Guide and one from People.
In his TV Guide Celebrity Blog, Ian Ziering encouraged his fans to vote for Billy Ray Cyrus, in the event that he and Cheryl Burke are kicked off tonight.
Show dates have been announced for the Dancing with the Stars summer tour. It looks as if they’ll be stopping in places they missed last time, and avoiding some major cities like L.A., New York, and Chicago. So far, the cast consists of pros Cheryl, Edyta, and Louis, and celebs Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, and Joey McIntyre — all of whom were also involved in the last tour.
DwtS By The Numbers
Islandia55 at Dance-Forums.com has taken the time to calculate the average length of the routines each week, and if you think the dances seem shorter this season, you’re right. According to this chart, last night’s routines averaged only 1:11 minutes long, as opposed to 1:40 at this point last season.
Further, Islandia55 subtracted the time Laila Ali spent with her head on a pillow during her Waltz to find that she only danced for 45 seconds during that routine. Total time spent dancing in a 90 minute show — 12 minutes.
More DwtS By The Numbers
Just to give you some idea of what it’ll take for your favorite couple to move on to Week 9, we’ve got the percentage of points (out of 251 total awarded) that each couple received from the judges last night:
Apolo & Julianne: 23% (58 of the 251 points)
Joey & Kym: 22% (55 out of 251)
Laila & Maks: 21% (53 out of 251)
Ian & Cheryl: 19% (47 out of 251)
Billy Ray & Karina: 15% (38 out of 251)
So, to avoid elimination, Billy Ray will need at least 4% more of the audience vote than Ian & Cheryl — or more, if he has to climb over one of the other couples, instead.
The top three couples look to be pretty safe, but a surprise dip into the Bottom Two would help predict the final three. If Ian & Cheryl escape the Bottom Two this week, they have a good shot at the finals, as it would seem they’ve got a big enough fanbase to bolster their scores over at least one other frontrunner. (Then again, people may just vote for Ian this week as a means of ensuring BRC goes home.)
However, should one of the top four couples go home tonight and Billy Ray escapes the Bottom Two altogether, I’d still expect BRC to go home next week, instead of whatever couple survives the red spotlight. Billy Ray will likely have to make up even more ground in votes (fewer couples means bigger gaps in scoring percentages), and he probably won’t enjoy the same boost he may be getting as a result of those in the audience who are mad about the judges’ treatment of him this week.
Yahoo!TV has an interesting article about shows that flopped in the States but became hits overseas — including Ireland’s love affair with Blind Justice, starring Ron Eldard as a blind cop.
Even after a night of glamorous costumes and exciting performances, the big story was Billy Ray’s feud with the judges.
BALLROOM ROUND
Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke — Fox Trot Song: Tom Jones and Cerys Matthews, "Baby It’s Cold Outside"
Ian looked suave, while still looking like he was having a good time. His charm distracted me from any technical missteps he may have made. But I wasn’t so distracted that I missed Marilu Henner — of Taxi and now America’s Ballroom Challenge fame — seated in the front row.
Len wasn’t impressed, "Smooth is what we want. For me, it was a bit skippy and a bit hoppy." Bruno agreed with Len and said Ian looked "like a jumping goat…jumping around from rock to rock." Carrie Ann focused more on Ian’s top half: "You brought so much exuberance and so much charm to this dance."
Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson — Waltz Song: Frank Sinatra, "Always"
Kym’s poofy, pink Disney Princess dress distracted from an otherwise conservative routine. The toned-down Waltz was unexpected from Joey, but it was very pretty.
Bruno didn’t like the new, less flashy Joey: "It looked like a rehearsal. You could be in the final, and this, for me, is not good enough." Carrie Ann agreed: "It was missing the Joey Special." Len — who, last week, asked Joey for less razzle dazzle — was impressed: "You showed us a different side to your character — not just the ‘wham, bam, thank you, ma’am’ type of dancing. Don’t listen to them."
Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff — Fox Trot Song: Tammy Wynette, "Stand By Your Man"
By insisting on making Billy Ray dance to country songs, the producers aren’t allowing him to expand beyond his good-ole-boy boundaries. The performance was okay, but there was nothing special about it.
Carrie Ann, in the night’s most backhanded compliment, said, "I just marvel at the fact that you’re still in the competition." Len said, "You did all the right steps, but unfortunately they were all at the wrong time." Bruno called the performance "deliciously awful," before elaborating: "It was terrible. It was crap!"
Waiting for his scores backstage, Billy Ray said, "I’ve held my tongue the whole time, but I’m gonna go ahead and say it. Bruno callin’ me ‘crap’ is the pot calling the kettle black." And he didn’t look like he was joking.
Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Waltz Song: Andy Williams, "May Each Day"
Laila looked absolutely stunning in her red dress — and Maks didn’t look so bad either. She performed a lovely spin, and as her dad Muhammad sat in the audience for the first time, she blew a kiss to him. But extended story parts at the beginning and end didn’t leave much time for dancing.
Before the judges offered their comments, Tom Bergeron said, "Every season seems to have a moment, and I think we just saw Season 4’s."
Len said the performance was "poignant," but warned Laila to watch her posture. Bruno told Laila, "You sold it; you did it well." Carrie Ann said, "Tonight, what you brought to the dance floor was emotion. It was true, and it was very profound."
Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough — Tango Song: Rick Springfield, "Jessie’s Girl"
Just based on the insane song selection, this performance was going to be my favorite. But Apolo & Julianne did the song justice with a slightly faster-than-normal Tango. Julianne’s biggest accomplishment is that she’s managed to make Apolo look like he’s danced before. They always make their dances look effortless.
Bruno enthused, "That is electric. Dynamic. Contemporary. Finally, I am excited!" Carrie Ann told Apolo that he’d overcome the troubles he’s had with his upper body: "Tonight, you were fantastic." Len was not on board with the other judges: "It lacked any passion. It lacked drama." After Bruno and Carrie Ann objected, and Tom hit him with his note card, Len said, "Julianne, trust me, it was far too hectic. It was a cacophony of noise and movement."
After the judges held up their paddles, Samantha Harris announced that Carrie Ann had actually entered her score as a nine, and had held up the wrong paddle. When Carrie Ann said she’d meant to give them a 10, Tom said, "I love live television."
After a commercial, Tom clarified that the computer had simply recorded the wrong score, and a 10 was awarded to Apolo. Somebody in the IT department is going to be in big trouble tomorrow.
LATIN ROUND
Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke — Rumba Song: John Lennon, "Imagine"
"Imagine" isn’t exactly a sexy song, and the routine reflected it. Ian was back to his old self, executing the movements but not feeling the dance like he did in their Fox Trot.
Carrie Ann told Ian, "I felt that you were trying to do the passion, but I didn’t feel like it was generated from any sort of place of authenticity." Len complimented Ian’s lines and poses, but said, "It lacks a sort of naturalness." Bruno was more impressed, and called the performance "a great improvement after the knock you’ve taken."
Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson — Mambo Song: Black Eyed Peas, "Pump It"
Kym’s big hair and glitzy get-up was a little too drag queen for me, but the performance was still very cool with a lot of great underarm turns. Joey is a great partner for Kym, and the two seem to be on the most equal footing of all of the couples.
Len felt the routine was "clever," but said, "You just seem to spend a lot of time between each other’s legs." Bruno shouted, "You pimped the Mambo! And I liked it!" Carrie Ann said, "What I appreciate now is that you have stepped it up."
Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff — Mambo Song: Los Lonely Boys, "My Way"
Billy Ray danced like he’d had a few too many drinks at a wedding reception. There wasn’t enough Mambo to criticize. Bridesmaids, look out.
Bruno told Billy Ray, "You’re like a wild beast that cannot be tamed," and predicted that, if the couple lasts another week, Karina will wind up in the Betty Ford Clinic. Carrie Ann, in the second most backhanded compliment of the evening, said, "You make people think that they can do this, too." Len said, "This is not a competition that you do one, and you get one free. There have to be two dances of equal merit."
As they waited for their second round of scores, Billy Ray had more words for the judges. He said he was upset by their rudeness, and then wrested the mic away from Samantha and said, "Bruno called me a Southern gentleman? He needs to take a lesson on Southern gentlemen." (I’ll make the obvious joke and say that I’m sure Bruno would welcome a lesson on Southern gentlemen.)
Billy Ray does have a point that the judges have stopped offering him constructive criticism — although he has acted on very little of the advice they have given. But, at the very least, their scores should reflect their comments to avoid sending a mixed message.
Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy — Jive Song: Jim Croce, "Bad Bad Leroy Brown"
Laila is just plain cool. For a woman who’s nearly six-feet-tall, she executed the Jive’s fast footwork with surprising speed. But, again, the first 10 or so seconds of a short routine were wasted on a cutesy acting bit.
Carrie Ann called it "clever" and "spunky." Len directed his comments at Maks: "You can’t do 12-bar introductions, floatin’ about with a handkerchief and messin’ about. Dance! It’s a dancing competition!" Bruno agreed with Len: "You, Maks, have got Laila. She is everything you could possibly wish for. Why give me an appetizer when you can deliver a great dish?"
Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough — Paso Doble Song: Dario G, "Carnaval De Paris"
The routine started with Apolo ripping off Julianne’s skirt…and then reattaching it. The performance was exciting, and Julianne looked fierce!
Len cheered, "That is a proper dance!" Bruno said Apolo & Julianne were "going for the kill." Carrie Ann enthused, "I had chills the whole time. That was fabulous!"
Leaderboard: 58 — Apolo & Julianne 55 — Joey & Kym 53 — Laila & Maks 47 — Ian & Cheryl 38 — Billy Ray & Karina
Apolo & Julianne and Joey & Kym gave my favorite performances, but I’ll have to throw at least one vote Laila’s way, because she looked so fantastic. It would appear that Billy Ray & Karina will be joined by Ian & Cheryl in the Bottom Two. Let’s hope that Ian has enough fan support to hold off anyone casting votes against the judges’ rudeness on Billy Ray’s behalf
They Already Lost Me Lost’s creators announced that the show will conclude after another three seasons. Each season will consist of 16 episodes, aired without the traditional break in between the fall and spring seasons. Executive producer Carlton Cuse said, "By defining the endpoint we can now really map out the rest of the series in confidence."
A self-imposed deadline is good for the show, creatively. Unfortunately, it comes a little too late for me. After watching the first two seasons intently, I became fed up with the characters’ ceaseless bickering, the pointless flashbacks, and the serious lack of answers — so I stopped watching Lost. And I don’t miss it.
DwtS News
Laila’s dad, Muhammad Ali, will be in the audience at tonight’s DwtS Performance Show.
Oscar de la Hoya tells Extra’s Mario Lopez that he’s planning on doing DwtS as soon as he retires from boxing.
Since I skipped a formal Power Rankings post last week, I’ll say that I’m only sure of the fate of two couples this week: Billy Ray & Karina will be in the Bottom Two, and Apolo & Julianne won’t be. We’ll finally get to see how the voting audience feels about Ian and Joey, and whether there really is some latent anti-female bias that could hurt Laila’s chances for victory.
Amazing Breakup
After receiving their $1 million check on this morning’s Early Show, Eric & Danielle announced that they are no longer a couple. I, for one, am shocked. I really thought this couple was going to make it, what with their obvious chemistry and the frequent sexual innuendos — oh wait, I was thinking of Eric and his previous partner, Jeremy.
One couple that’s still together is The Beauty Queens. Dustin said of her tiff with Kandice, "the blonde bickering we had was nothing," and the two remain BFFs.
The Amazing Race: All-Stars came to an end this week. It’s only too bad the members of the winning team were the pair who least deserved to be called All-Stars in the first place.
Teams made their way from Guam to Honolulu, Hawaii via Tokyo, Japan. Charla & Mirna made the most of their brief layover in Tokyo and found a connection that got them to Honolulu 40 minutes ahead of the other teams.
What could’ve been a commanding lead on the final leg of the race was seriously reduced once they found their next destination. Charla & Mirna were the first team to sign up for a helicopter flight to the island of Lanai, but they were forced to wait almost one hour for their flight to leave.
Since the charter flights left every ten minutes (9:00, 9:10, 9:20), Eric & Danielle and Dustin & Kandice were right behind them.
After landing, Charla & Mirna drove themselves to the season’s final Detour: Under or Over. In Under, teams swam into an underwater cave to retrieve a clue. In Over, each team member stood on a surfboard and paddled toward a buoy to retrieve a clue.
The cousins elected to do Over, and Charla’s low center of gravity proved to be a real asset. She stayed dry, while Mirna toppled into the water. After retrieving their clue, Mirna jokingly asked Charla, "Have you done this before?"
Eric & Danielle arrived shortly after the cousins, and they chose to do Under. Eventually, they figured out how to time their entrance to the cave to avoid the surge pushing in the opposite direction. They got their clue and headed out just as Dustin & Kandice — who did Under as well — arrived.
Charla & Mirna finally lost their meager lead as they ran along Shipwreck Beach to the next clue box. Both of the other teams passed them and started the next task: paddling a kayak to a buoy anchored near a beached World War II-era cargo ship to retrieve a clue.
This was the episode’s one task in which man-power was a real plus. The waves were so choppy that only Eric & Danielle were able to paddle through them without being flipped or getting out of the kayak and walking with it.
Dustin’s insistence that she and Kandice walk (and not paddle) their kayak through the shallows — coupled with the frustrating nature of the task — put Kandice over the edge. When they got back to shore and into the car, she criticized Dustin for being a bad teammate.
The spat was ugly, especially since the Beauty Queens rarely fight, but it was short-lived. Once Dustin said, "The fun in this race for me, Kandice, is doing it with you," the girls apologized, acknowledged that the race can be tough on friendships, and put the tiff behind them.
After kayaking, teams headed back to Honolulu to find the earliest possible flight to Oakland, California. There was only one flight that night, and all of the teams arrived at their destination at the same time, early the next morning.
Teams hopped into taxis and rode into San Francisco to find the Old Mint. Dustin & Kandice and Eric & Danielle arrived at the same time to find an unusual final task.
One team member entered a room and answered four questions about the All-Star teams, while the other member waited outside. The questions were:
Which other team is the least trustworthy?
Which other team has the best sense of humor?
Which other team is the most overrated?
Which other team is the one you most want to stay in touch with?
The names of the teams were listed with a corresponding number. The four numerical answers to the questions formed the combination to a lock on a safe.
When the combination had been entered and the safe was locked, the waiting team member had to guess the answers given by her partner in order to unlock the safe. If the safe did not open, there was nothing to indicate which number was wrong. This second part of the task was given a ten minute time limit.
As Eric and Dustin entered their respective rooms, Kandice turned to Danielle and asked, "Is this crazy or what?"
"What the hell is going on?" replied Danielle.
Charla & Mirna arrived a couple of minutes later, and Mirna went into her team’s room to answer the questions.
According to the teams’ answers, Rob & Amber were universally regarded as the most overrated team, while everyone wanted to stay in touch with Uchenna & Joyce. That makes the most sense, since Joyce might have been able to nab some cool Star Trek memorabilia during her days as Ensign Gates on the Starship Enterprise.
The first members of the teams emerged from the rooms, and the waiting members went in to try to crack the code. After several minutes, Danielle was able to match her answers to Eric’s and open the safe.
Their final clue instructed them to head to the Pit Stop, which was at the San Francisco Botanical Gardens.
When Dustin had originally answered the questions, she second-guessed herself and picked Joe & Bill (the Guidos) as the least trustworthy team. Had she gone with her first instinct and chosen Rob & Amber, Kandice would’ve been able to open their safe at about the same time as Danielle opened hers.
But Kandice never got the code right, and she used the entire ten minute time period. Charla had just as little luck figuring our Mirna’s answers.
The several minute lead was all that Eric & Danielle needed to reach the Pit Stop in first place and claim their million dollar prize.
While they make a good team and definitely ran the best leg this week, there was still something unsatisfying about giving the prize to a team that was only formed for this season — and wasn’t a pre-existing team, as all of the other All-Star teams were. On their original teams, neither Eric nor Danielle would ever have been cast on this season at all.
That said, I enjoyed being able to see some of my favorite teams again (Oswald & Danny and Dustin & Kandice), and it was nice to have my opinion changed regarding a couple of teams I didn’t think highly of during their original seasons (Teri & Ian and Charla & Mirna). But if they ever decide to do a second edition of TAR: All-Stars, it had better include Ken & Gerard.
Alex’s maneuvering may ultimately wind up being responsible for Yau-Man’s ouster. Unfortunately for Alex, he won’t be around to see it happen.
After returning from the previous Tribal Council, Earl made it known to the members of his alliance that he’d always thought splitting their votes was a bad idea. Mookie had gone home, and the (slightly) more intellectually dangerous Alex was still around.
Earl’s fears were justified. Mere moments later, Stacy was talking to Alex, trying to convince him that they could be pals after the show was over. Earl sent Boo to break up the conversation and bring Stacy back to the others.
The next morning, Alex went into "ninja mode," pretending to sleep while listening to people talk, and gathering as much information as he could — anything that he could use to his advantage.
Out of range of the camp ninja, Earl and Cassandra talked with Yau-Man about the possibility of taking Dreamz to the Final Four. Because of Cassandra’s close friendship with Dreamz (making it a de facto mini-alliance), Yau-Man said he’d prefer to bring Stacy instead.
The three didn’t finalize any plans, but the conversation was a refreshing display of honesty — if not strategically sound. Rather than helping Yau-Man’s cause, it was a reminder to Cassandra that she needed to do what was in her own best interest — not Yau-Man’s, or even Earl’s.
At the Reward Challenge, the castaways used only their teeth to rip pieces of meat off of pork roasts hanging from ropes. They spit the meat they ripped off onto a plate, and the contestant whose plate weighed the most after five minutes, won.
The contest was ugly, as everyone’s heads became covered in tiny flakes of flesh: meat dust. Stacy and Dreamz even took a few swinging roasts to the face. The most successful carnivore was Boo, who shredded 8.9 lbs. of pork from the roast before time ran out. Yau-Man and Dreamz came in second and third.
For their reward, all three got to enjoy some river rafting and a picnic. Boo also got a bag that contained items that would give him an advantage in the Immunity Challenge. He sent Earl to Exile Island with "no hard feelings."
The next day, the three reward winners enjoyed a helicopter ride to a remote river location. Boo wanted to know how much it cost to rent a chopper, because "I wouldn’t mind spending $600-$900 on a really nice date."
Boo continued to jabber away throughout the ride — annoying the heck out of Dreamz and Yau-Man. It took some whitewater rafting and a huge picnic lunch to shut him up, temporarily.
Then, each of the reward winners was given a letter from home. One of Yau-Man’s kids got all "A"s on her report card — except for one "B" in Algebra. "Why can’t you get a ‘B’ in Spanish or something?" asked Yau-Man.
And Boo’s family let him know pretty much nothing, except that they were all "eating well." I guess Boo had to assume that they were all staying hydrated, sleeping at night, and going to the bathroom regularly, too.
Dreamz got emotional as he read a letter from his sister. The chance that he could win $1 million on Survivor has made Dreamz the hope of the family.
Meanwhile, on Exile Island, Earl got a new clue that said that the other Hidden Immunity Idol is hidden in a tree, next to a pile of rocks near camp.
After returning from their reward, Yau-Man and Dreamz told Cassandra, Stacy, and Alex of Boo’s incessant chatter. Alex tried to encourage the "anti-Boo"sentiment, in an effort to save himself. He even asked Dreamz to suggest to the alliance that they eliminate Boo — and Dreamz agreed.
At the Immunity Challenge, Boo revealed the advantage he’d won at the Reward Challenge. He had three paddle-shaped climbing steps, which allowed him to skip the first round of the challenge. Everyone else would have to dig in the sand to find their three climbing steps. The first two to find them would join Boo in the finals.
Dreamz and Alex were the only ones to have any real luck uncovering the steps, and they headed to the final round.
For the finals, the guys used their steps to climb a 12-foot pole and retrieve a flag. The steps could be inserted at any of several different brackets around the pole. Alex ditched his steps and quickly scaled most of the pole, but he couldn’t find a foothold that would allow him to reach the flag. Dreamz seemed to have the same problem.
Boo connected his steps to the brackets on the pole speedily and efficiently, allowing him to grab his flag first. The victory meant that Alex would have to go into desperate strategy mode if he wanted to survive that night’s vote.
Instead of being aggressive, Alex decided to sit near the camp and let people approach him. He would then prey on their own insecurities about their current alliance. Like most of Alex’s previous plans, it sounded dumb. There was no reason for anyone to talk to him, when he was an easy elimination.
But then, Cassandra came over and made Alex look very smart, if only for an episode.
Alex told Cassandra that, if she wanted to get rid of Yau-Man — who was always going to favor Stacy over Cassandra’s pal, Dreamz — this was her only chance to do so. Though Yau-Man had a Hidden Immunity Idol, he probably wouldn’t use it at this next Tribal Council, since he was positive that Alex was next out.
Cassandra brought Earl and Dreamz over for a meeting with Alex, where Alex tried to assure Earl that he wouldn’t stab them in the back. Earl pretended to consider the offer, but winked at Dreamz and Cassandra to convey his true feelings. He later said of Alex, "I’d rather just vote your ass off now, and I’ll risk it."
Dreamz still felt some loyalty to Alex, so he and Cassandra presented Alex’s offer to Stacy. She said that she was "a follower," and would go along with whatever they wanted to do.
Cassandra was in a more precarious position. Earl was not going to budge, so blindsiding Yau-Man would mean blindsiding Earl, too. That would put an end to the alliance that had gotten her this far in the game.
At Tribal Council, Yau-Man said he felt he could trust his alliance, and he thought that Alex would have a hard time convincing three people to flip. He also said that he didn’t feel the need to use his Idol tonight.
Perhaps bluffing that he would use it would’ve been the wiser approach, but it ultimately didn’t matter. Alex was voted out, 6-1, as originally planned. Alex, the world’s most inspirational lawyer, said that he had played for "the kids who feel hopeless," and encouraged them to "never stop dreaming." On behalf of all the hopeless kids who also watch Survivor, thank you Alex.
Next week, Yau-Man senses "bad vibes" from his tribemates, and he tries to make a deal with Jeff Probst at one of the challenges.
The viewing audience agreed with the judges on which couples belonged in the Bottom Two, but disagreed with them on which couple was the worst. Though Billy Ray & Karina got the lowest scores, it was John & Edyta whose dancing days came to an end.
Before announcing which couple would give this evening’s encore performance, Len Goodman had to explain how the judges made their selection. Joey & Kym’s Jive and Laila & Maksim’s Samba both earned perfect scores last night, and since they couldn’t decide on a favorite, the judges tossed a coin to determine the encore.
Laila & Maksim won the coin toss and performed their Samba.
Tonight’s special musical guest was Meat Loaf, and he performed his epic song "Bat Out of Hell" as DwtS pros Alec, Elena, Brian, Kym, Cheryl, and Louis danced. Unfortunately, the song’s frequent tempo changes made the whole performance seem a little disjointed — although I’m always happy to see the pros perform.
After the performance, Samantha caught up with Ian and Joey. Ian teased Joey about his success with the judges, calling him "the golden boy," and said that everyone — even Justin Timberlake — knows that Joey was the "driving force behind ‘N Sync."
The brief interview was followed by what was easily the funniest comedic segment that has ever been done on Dancing with the Stars. Sports anchor and DwtS 2 contestant Kenny Mayne hosted "Dance Center," analyzing each of the six remaining couples. He and his co-host, Jerry Rice, wore sequined shirts, while their color analyst, Len, wore one of his usual suits.
Some of the highlights from "Dance Center":
Kenny on Ian’s chances: "He’s with Cheryl Burke. Women hate her. They’re voting against her. No shot. Moving on."
Kenny said that Laila has a "70-inch reach."
Kenny used a Telestrator to circle Joey’s butt, and wrote "BIG!!" across it.
Kenny nicknamed John "J-Rat," and said he was "70, 80 years old."
When Len complimented Billy Ray, Kenny asked, "Why you givin’ him such crappy scores then?"
Apolo’s "Stat Sheet" included the note, "Born with the goatee."
The next performance was by three young couples, the youngest being a pair of 9-year-olds. Alec Mazo did a nice job helping with their choreography, leaving out some of the sexier moves that can make some Latin performances by kid couples a bit creepy, or at least awkward.
The last (and best) performance of the night was by current U.S. Professional Standard Ballroom Champions Jonathan Wilkins & Katusha Demidova — accompanied by Meat Loaf. Jonathan & Katusha were the winners of this year’s America’s Ballroom Challenge, and they gave another breathtakingly beautiful performance tonight.
When last night’s audience was asked to pick their favorite couple, it was no surprise that former Beverly Hills 90210 cast members Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling chose Ian & Cheryl.
John & Edyta were the first couple to learn they were in the Bottom Two. When Billy Ray & Karina were told they were in the bottom as well, Billy Ray said, "Understandably so."
Billy Ray really seemed to believe that he was on his way out, and he cringed when John’s name was called instead. On behalf of the entire crew, Samantha thanked Edyta for the fine work she’s done on all four seasons of the show.
While the band played Paul Young’s "Everytime You Go Away," John and all of the cast members did the bunny hop.
My Ox Is Broken 
