NBC’s fall lineup. What to expect on tonight’s DwtS. Survivor’s low-rated finale. And a Deadliest Catch captain rescues tourists in his off-time.

NBC’s Fall ScheduleNBC was the first network to present their fall TV Schedule this week. Of course, the schedule may change as rival network’s announce their own schedule’s throughout the week.

DwtS News
Cheryl Burke posted at her TV Guide Celebrity Blog that she and Ian Ziering will be performing the Tango and Jive at tonight’s Dancing with the Stars Performance Show. A post at Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s forum said that he and Laila Ali will be doing the Cha Cha Cha and the Quickstep.

Bruno Tonioli gave his assessment of the final four couples to USA Today.

Survivor’s Falling Ratings
The finale of Survivor: Fiji was watched by 13.54 million people — making it the least watched Survivor finale ever. I can’t help but wonder if ratings suffered because Jeff Probst leaked the biggest story of the season well ahead of time: that Dreamz would make a controversial decision. Since Dreamz’s options were keeping his word or not, and keeping his word wouldn’t be so controversial, there couldn’t be much doubt as to what Dreamz had decided to do.

Captain Painter to the Rescue
Blake Painter, who captains the Maverick on The Deadliest Catch, helped transport passengers off of the cruise ship that crashed in Alaska late last night.

As for other Deadliest Catch rescues, I finally caught the episode entitled "Cheating Death," in which the Time Bandit pulls a crewman from another ship out of the water alive. After starting the season with three deaths, it was incredibly moving to see how Captain Johnathan Hillstrand’s expert piloting and the crew’s safety training enabled them to save a life .

The episode airs again on May 28. If you haven’t seen it, I can’t recommend it enough.

Survivor: Fiji’s winner was announced tonight. Shockingly, it wasn’t the season’s challenge hound and master strategist, Cassandra.

The castaways didn’t get a break, as they had to participate in another Immunity Challenge the day after Stacy’s ouster. The challenge was a maze the size of a football field, split into five sections. Before completing each section of the maze, each contestant had to find a key and unlock a drawbridge.

And it all had to be done blindfolded.

Cassandra and Earl were out of the contest early, and it was up to Boo and Dreamz to catch Yau-Man. They never could, and Yau-Man won immunity at a critical juncture. It meant Yau-Man was in the Final Four, and Boo was back on the chopping block.

At camp, Boo tried to convince Yau-Man and Earl that he was totally beatable in the final Tribal Council, and that Dreamz wasn’t.

Boo brought those issues up at Tribal Council as well, reminding everyone that Dreamz’s impoverished background was likely to earn him sympathy votes in the final Tribal Council. Dreamz explained that he hadn’t disclosed his past to earn sympathy votes, but Boo countered that Dreamz would get those votes anyway.

After the votes were cast, Earl played his hidden Immunity Idol, even though he wasn’t in any danger. It was the last opportunity for the Idol to be used, so there was no point in holding on to it.

Boo was voted out. In his parting words, he said that he respects Yau-Man on "many different levels." He also said that it would be funny if Dreamz broke his agreement with Yau-Man.

(In case you missed it, a few episodes back, Yau-Man gave Dreamz a truck in exchange for Dreamz’s promise to give Yau-Man the Immunity necklace, should Dreamz win the Final Four Immunity Challenge.)

The following morning, Earl said he and Yau-Man will be friends for a lifetime: "An older Chinese guy and a young black guy — friends. Who’d’ve ever thought? That’s like Rush Hour."

Then, the gang embarked on the traditional "Torches of the Fallen" tour on their way to another Immunity Challenge. The video of the tour was more like a blooper reel, with footage of Lisi tripping, Michelle falling off the platform, and Boo’s hammock collapsing.

When the gang arrived at the challenge, Jeff Probst took the Immunity necklace from Yau-Man. Dreamz told him, "You’ll get it back." Then Jeff told them that this was to be their last Immunity Challenge, and that three of the four would compete in a final Tribal Council.

Unlike final challenges of the past, which tended to favor women by testing stamina and balance, this was a challenge designed for a man to win. Each survivor had to lie on an elevated plank tilted at a 35 degree angle, and hang onto a bar — something that required a lot of upper body strength. A barrel of water attached to the top of the plank emptied a stream of water onto the contestants’ heads and hands, continuously.

Every five minutes, the planks were tilted five degrees steeper. After an hour, the planks would be standing perpendicular at 90 degrees.

After 15 minutes, Jeff tilted the planks to 50 degrees, and Cassandra slipped off of her bar. Earl and Yau-Man lasted another five minutes before both of them lost their grips, and Dreamz won the final Immunity of the game.

Jeff pointed out to Dreamz, "You have fulfilled part of the bargain you made with Yau-Man."

Earl was glad Dreamz won, since he was certain that Dreamz would keep his bargain with Yau-Man — meaning that Earl wouldn’t have to vote against his best friend in the game. But Dreamz wasn’t sure about giving up a guaranteed spot in the finals: "$1 million or keeping my word. I could use both of ’em."

At Tribal Council, Yau-Man was still hopeful that Dreamz would live up to his end of the bargain.
"Whatever you do," he told Dreamz, "you have to live with it."

But, after a day of talking about showing his son the importance of keeping promises, Dreamz decided to keep Immunity for himself.

The move shocked Earl, who decided that he had no choice but to vote for Yau-Man (who would be his toughest competition in the Final Three). Dreamz and Cassandra did so, as well, and Yau-Man left the game without either $1 million or a $60,000 truck.

The following morning, Cassandra looked forward to getting back to civilization: "We’ve spent 39 days in the same underwear. Actually… I discarded my underwear about three weeks ago."

And Dreamz described what it felt like being so close to winning $1 million: "I feel like I’m standing next to Oprah!"

At the final Tribal Council, Earl gave the best opening statement, saying that he wanted the jury to vote for him out of respect, not for sympathy (Dreamz) or because he was the underdog (Cassandra). Dreamz mentioned that he was poor — but, you know, not because he wanted any sympathy votes. Cassandra’s speech prompted everyone to daydream, including me.

Then it was time for the jury to ask their questions. Michelle asked all of the finalists what their biggest obstacle was during the game, and Cassandra said it was her inability to swim. Michelle asked, "Do you think your fear of water earns you $1 million?"

Edgardo had only one question, and asked Earl how he found out that Mookie had one of the hidden Immunity Idols. Earl answered, "Dreamz."

Then, Alex the Attorney took the floor, and tried to do his best Jack McCoy impression — and failed. He asked Cassandra to "describe a moment where you grappled with your integrity," but when she didn’t give the answer he wanted, he blew up at her. As she tried to explain herself, he shouted, "Stop talking! Is that not clear to you, Cassandra, that I said ‘stop talking?’ Maybe I should say it in Spanish."

He continued to be a tremendous asshole when he turned his attention to Dreamz. "Riddle me this, Dreamz," he began, and wanted to know how lying was setting a positive example for "the kids you and I are trying to help." He closed by saying, "You can’t hide from karma forever, ‘my friend’" — and he actually made the air quotes hand gesture.

Alex, if you’re trying to encourage kids to be total douchebags, you’re doing a great job.

Another genius, Lisi, was up next. Somehow, Lisi was able to convince herself that Cassandra’s ugly water shoes made her a greedy liar. Cassandra spoke for everyone with a brain when she said, "I don’t see the relevance in the question."

Then Lisi asked Dreamz how many zeroes were in the number one million. She acted surprised when Dreamz gave the correct answer (six), and Dreamz asked her, "What? Did you think I’m stupid?"

Because telling the truth would have revealed her own idiocy in asking such a mean, stupid question, Lisi answered nonsensically, "I’m a part of the jury. This is part of my game."

Stacy made the most interesting observation of the night when she told Earl "the only real difference that I see between you and Dreamz is that you’re a little more sophisticated." She said that, because of Earl’s college education, she was sure he’d be able to take care of himself even without $1 million — whereas Dreamz might not fare as well. She asked Earl if she should base her vote on need.

Earl said, "I’m not supposed to feel bad because I have a job. I had a tough upbringing, and I worked hard." He told her to vote on how they played the game because "we all need it."

Rocky asked each contestant how they were manipulative, and he became annoyed with Cassandra when she wouldn’t give him a specific example.

Boo was frustrated with Dreamz for going back on his word with Yau-Man, and he wanted Dreamz "to be able to tell the devil, ‘Dangle all the money you want in front of me. This Christian is not for sale!’"

Yau-Man told Dreamz that he could keep the truck, but asked him to explain why he changed his mind about handing over the necklace. "Yau-Man, I didn’t change my mind. I was playing the game," replied Dreamz. But Yau-Man didn’t seem convinced that the erratic Dreamz had planned to back out on the deal the whole time.

Then Yau-Man asked Earl, "Why would you [vote against me and] not want to take me to the next level?"

Earl answered, correctly, "The reason I would not want to go against you is because I would not win. Because you played the best game by far."

Jeff brought the votes into the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York to reveal this season’s winner. In the first-ever unanimous vote, Earl was declared the winner.

Earl confessed that, once Yau-Man left, he’d known what would happen: "When Dreamz reneged on that deal, I thought, Wow, I just won a million dollars!"

4. Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke
Based on some of what I’ve heard (including some of the comments left in the Results Show recap), it seems a lot of the votes cast for Ian were more a vote against Billy Ray than proof of Ian’s popularity. It was unlikely that Billy Ray could get enough votes to defeat Joey, Laila, or Apolo, so all the anti-BRC contingent had to do was make sure that Ian survived.

Ian’s been a good sport, and he’s improved immensely. But he’s just not one of the top three dancers. Cheryl’s shown that she can take any student close to the top, if not all the way. Even if they leave without a trophy, their season should hardly be considered a failure.

3. Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson
Joey’s exhibited showmanship and top-notch dance skills. But, after seeing former boy banders and child stars with previous dance training last to the end in previous seasons, fans enjoy seeing a true novice win (like Emmitt did last season).

With two highly talented, novice dancers like Laila and Apolo left in the competition, there may be no room for Joey in the final dance-off.

2. Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Laila has a good shot at winning, but everything depends on what she and Maks do this week. The lengthy intro and outro portions of their most recent performances were a bad idea, and they couldn’t have come at a worse time. She and Maks need to get on the same page and create two routines that show who Laila is and why she’s the best dancer — and they need to do so every second that they’re on the floor. Resting her head on a pillow for one-third of a routine won’t get it done.

Laila’s got one other hurdle to overcome: a show audience comprising mostly women. Taking into consideration that the two best celebrity dancers are pretty close in terms of talent level, I suspect the inner teenagers in many casual viewers — though not our discerning MOIB readers, of course — will nudge them to vote for a cute boy over another woman, unless the woman is clearly superior.

(In Season 2, I was almost relieved when Drew Lachey’s Freestyle was so much better than the horrible routine Tony choreographed for Stacy Keibler, because, even had Stacy matched Drew, I think she still would have come in third — which would not have been good for the show.)

I hope I’m wrong about all this, but it’s hard to ignore that last season’s three finalists were all men, and four of the first five contestants voted out this season were women. Luckily for Laila, she does have a cute guy — with some rabid fans — as a partner (though fat lot of good that did Paulina this season). Also in Laila’s favor, she has a great attitude and a good sense of humor off the dance floor.

For every dance from here on out, Laila and Maks need to make sure that everyone watching knows that she deserves the trophy more than anyone else. They need routines that makes viewers think, "I like the guys, but I can’t in good conscience vote for anything but that!"

1. Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough
They’re so solid, there’s not much to say. Apolo & Julianne have seemed unstoppable for weeks. Apolo’s been a quick learner, and (even as a rookie) Julianne’s been this season’s best choreographer. She should be able to create a great Freestyle routine, and if she does, Apolo will probably have to clear some space in his trophy case.

Fall 2007 Renewals
A few more shows from this season have been renewed, while some old stalwarts may be on the way out. Friday Night Lights is back, and Notes From the Underbelly likely will be as well. But Crossing Jordan is out, and it could be followed by Law & Order and Scrubs.

(Update: NBC has just announced that it will bring back Scrubs. A smart move. Even if the ratings aren’t great, the show should do well in syndication and on DVD.)

This article at Yahoo!TV also describes a number of new shows in the works.

SYTYCD’s Schedule
So You Think You Can Dance is back, and its first episode airs Thursday, May 24, at 8 EDT on Fox. The finale is slated for August 16. The full schedule is featured at BuddyTV.

Avoid Foreclosure
There’s no safer real estate investment right now than investing some time in watching the myriad house-flipping and house-selling shows on cable. Gary Strauss at USA Today complied a list of 16 of the most popular real estate shows.

While House Hunters International is great because it makes moving to Costa Rica look both fun and affordable, nothing is better than the beating the amateurs on Property Ladder take for their hubris. Newbies buy dumpy houses in bad areas, and are shocked when the plumbing projects they’d planned to save money on by doing it themselves wind up taking 3 months and can’t pass inspection.

The lesson: it’s almost always faster and cheaper to hire a professional.

Fashion Disasters
Kat Giantis of MSN Movies had a field day with some of the garish get-ups celebrities wore to the Costume Institute gala at the Met. Click here to see the unflattering photos, and enjoy the hilarious commentary while you’re at it.

After Dreamz told his tribemates that none of the plans he’s previously suggested have worked, what made them think that his latest scheme would?

This week’s episode of Survivor: Fiji started with another example of the season’s predominant theme: dumb guys erroneously thinking they are clever. Boo created a secret path to the water well by matting down some long grasses. This way, if anyone came to the well to talk about a plan to vote him out, he’d be able to eavesdrop. He wouldn’t be able to do anything about their plan, but at least he’d know about it ahead of time.

While Boo was off creating his hiding place, everyone was back at camp (not the water well) talking about how they were going to get rid of him. Great plan, Boo.

The castaways got a piece of Tree Mail later that morning, with information about that day’s Reward Challenge. The reward was a new Ford F-350 pickup. Dreamz couldn’t stop talking about the fact that he was the only player who didn’t already own a car, and he all but begged his tribemates to let him win.

The challenge itself had two parts. For the first part, survivors were divided into two teams of three. Each team had to complete an obstacle course while attached to each other by a rope: navigate a series of see-saws, climb through a cargo net tower, uncover a buried hatchet, and chop a rope holding a crate over the pickup’s truckbed.

The first team to cut through their rope would get to take part in a reward activity, after moving on to the second part of the challenge to see who’d get the truck.

Earl, Cassandra, and Dreamz made up one team, Yau-Man, Stacy, and Boo the other. Earl and Dreamz put Cassandra in the middle and held her hands to steady her as they walked over the see-saws. Yau-Man fell off the see-saw several times, forcing his team to start over from the beginning, and allowing the other team to gain a big lead.

But once Yau-Man’s team final made it through the see-saws, they made up ground quickly. Boo pulled the much tinier Stacy and Yau-Man through the cargo-net tower, and then he ended up digging up their hatchet first.

Earl, Cassandra, and Dreamz sat out the next part of the challenge. The first finalist to throw an axe and chop through two ropes would be the winner.

Stacy didn’t have a prayer, under-throwing her target almost every time. Boo got the first cut, and Yau-Man soon followed. A few throws later, Boo grazed his second rope, but not enough to cut it. Yau-Man pounced on the opportunity, cut his second rope, and won yet another challenge.

Immediately, Yau-Man asked Jeff if he could make a deal. Jeff allowed it. Yau-Man told Dreamz he would give him the truck. However, in the event that Dreamz made it to the final four and won that Immunity Challenge, Dreamz would have to give his Immunity Idol to Yau-Man.

The deal depended upon Dreamz keeping his word, but if any of the remaining castaways would, it would be the childlike Dreamz, who (though unreliable) has tried to appease his elders, like Earl, Cassandra, and Yau-Man.

Dreamz said, "Yes!" without a second’s hesitation.

Yau-Man tossed the keys to Dreamz, who took Yau-Man’s spot next to Boo and Stacy. Since Yau-Man won the challenge, he also got to decide who would go to Exile Island. So Yau-Man picked himself.

A stunned, but amused, Jeff Probst said, "Yau-Man, you’re the first person in the history of Survivor to go from winning a truck, to not having a truck, to going to Exile Island. Boat’s waitin’ for ya."

Dreamz then got to put his new truck to use. Boo and Stacy piled in, and together they drove a crate of supplies and a trailer outfitted as a copy room/office/teacher’s lounge to a small, nearby school. Then, they got to eat a huge lunch with a classroom full of adorable Fijian kids.

Dreamz talked with some of the kids, who wanted to know if he liked Fiji. "It’s warm here. You ever been to America? It’s real cold over there."

The scholastic environment must have stimulated Dreamz’s mind. As he finished eating, he started thinking: "If I give Yau-Man Immunity off of my neck, then I’m gone. So the best thing for me to do is to get rid of him before he makes the final four." This plan would keep Dreamz from breaking his word to Yau-Man once at the final four. It was a pretty clever idea, actually.

It seemed like it wasn’t long after the winners returned before it was time for the Immunity Challenge. With each player standing on platforms just above the level of the water, they had to toss a ball connected to a rope through a metal ring, and then pull the ring and beam to which it was connected toward them.

The beam then served as a balance beam, which they crossed to the next platform. The first four across moved on to Round 2, and the top two from that round moved on to a final round.

Boo and Dreamz had the easiest time advancing to Round 2, and they were joined by Earl and Yau-Man (Cassandra actually tossed her ball and rope into the water and lost time swimming out to retrieve it).

It was no surprise when the two challenge fiends — Boo and Yau-Man — moved on to the final round. Boo won Immunity, ruining the alliance’s hopes for an easy elimination.

When the tribe returned to camp, Yau-Man told Earl about the newest clue to the whereabouts of the other hidden Immunity Idol; it was in a hollow pine tree. Earl went off to search for the idol, and Yau-Man went back to camp to gather information.

While Yau-Man and Earl were gone, Dreamz pulled Stacy and Cassandra aside and gave them this pitch: "Any plan that I’ve planned hasn’t worked out so far. But we gotta take Yau out."

Dreamz reasoned that Yau-Man would save his Hidden Immunity Idol until the next Tribal Council, because he believed everyone (save Stacy herself) was unanimous about voting out Stacy. That meant this was the tribe’s best chance to blindside Yau-Man.

Stacy, of course, was on board right away — and presumably so was Boo, once they told him. Cassandra was concerned that, if their plan backfired, she would’ve burned her bridges with the two men who’d gotten her this far in the game: Yau-Man and Earl. But her need to protect Dreamz (and her desire to get rid of Yau-Man) was paramount, so she agreed to the plan and kept it secret from Earl.

Yau-Man made the rounds, confirming with his alliance members that they’d be voting for Stacy (their original second choice after Boo). But he noticed that when he talked to Dreamz, Dreamz kept thanking him for the truck — almost as if he were saying goodbye.

When Earl returned from his hunting, Yau-Man told him, "I have bad vibes." But there was no need to worry — Earl had found the other Immunity Idol. Now they had two Idols between them, enough to save themselves until the final four, since Earl hasn’t seemed to be anyone’s target for elimination.

At Tribal Council, Stacy said just enough to confirm Yau-Man’s fears. She didn’t seem as worried as she should’ve been, and she said of that night’s vote, "I don’t think that it’s all gonna be a vote one way or the other. I think it’s gonna be split."

After the votes were cast, Jeff asked if anyone was going to use an Immunity Idol. Yau-Man waited a painfully long time before standing up and handing one of the Hidden Immunity Idols to Jeff. At that point, Stacy looked at her feet, and Dreamz put his face in his hands.

The four votes for Yau-Man were invalid, so the two votes for Stacy were the only ones that mattered. Chagrined, Stacy said, "Tonight I gambled… and I was out-voted."

The Survivor: Fiji finale takes place at 8 EST on Sunday night, followed by the Reunion Show at 10. And, contrary to what the promos say, all of your questions will not be answered.

The Networks Miss You
Apparently, people are not watching as much TV as they used to, according to traditional measurement standards. CNN featured an interesting report about the decline in prime-time viewership, and the rise in the number of people recording and downloading shows — an advertisers worst nightmare.

Generally, the only shows I watch live are competitive reality shows — DwtS, Survivor, The Amazing Race. I almost always record or download shows like Veronica Mars, Smallville, Supernatural, and Heroes.

One method of TV viewing that the CNN article doesn’t mention is DVDs. After each new TV season, Greg and I wait to see which shows that we missed have the best buzz surrounding them. Then we take a mini-vacation and watch the entire season on DVD over the course of a few days. We’ve done that with The Wire, Battlestar Galactica, and the first season of Veronica Mars. For $50 per DVD set (or less, if your local library is up to snuff), it’s one of the cheapest vacations you can take.

Get the Band Back Together
American Idol is branching out from individual singers to musical groups. They’ve put together a new show entitled The Search for the Next Great American Band. There’s apparently no upper age limit for contestants apply, so you may finally be able to make those high school dreams of yours come true — even if you’ve now got grandkids in high school.

BRAINS!
In honor of this weekend’s release of the film 28 Weeks Later, MSN featured an interesting retrospective of important zombie films. It unfortunately neglected to mention the wonderfully titled not-so-classic flick, I Eat Your Skin — although it did give a nice synopsis of the pre-Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson film, Dead Alive.

Meanwhile, In Important Pizza Beard News
If you’re an NBA fan, you should be watching the the Golden State vs. Utah series — which has given us the best basketball of the postseason, so far. If you’re not an NBA fan, you can watch and show your support for Golden State point guard Baron Davis, who is totally dedicated to growing his own Oreo Pizza Beard:

DwtS News
People filed a report from last night’s Results Show, in which Julianne Hough clarified a rumor that she’d called off her engagement to former ballroom dancer Zach Wilson. Apparently, they’ve just postponed the wedding.

Julianne, sweetie. You’re an 18-year-old in Hollywood, and you’re on your way to being the new "It Girl." Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are out of rehab and lookin’ for a new best friend. I’d put the wedding on hold for a couple of years. Now’s the time when you’re supposed to be irrevocably ruining your life.

In TV Guide’s behind-the scenes report, Billy Ray Cyrus said that he’d hoped dancing would get easier for him once he’d gained some experience, but it never did.

MOIB reader Mandy pointed out that this weekend’s new E! True Hollywood Story is about Dancing with the Stars. The episode premieres Saturday night at 6 EST, and reruns will air throughout the next week.

Drive Goes Out with a Bang
Fans of Nathan Fillion can catch the final two episodes of Drive when Fox airs them back-to-back on July 4th. If you’re like me, and you think that untrained goons armed with low-grade explosives and a neighborhood full of howling dogs are not a recipe for a happy holiday, this is the perfect excuse to stay indoors on Independence Day.

Virtual Big Brother
Electronic Arts has paired with Endemol, the company that produces Big Brother, for a project called Virtual Me. Players will be able to create avatars of themselves and participate in an online version of Big Brother. EA hopes to eventually expand Virtual Me with online versions of Deal or No Deal and other competitive reality shows.

Billy Ray & Karina’s ouster may have been predictable, but the whole cast appeared to be shocked by the couple that joined them in the Bottom Two.

To start the show, Tom Bergeron joked that, after last night’s antics, the judges were "held prisoner in a spa, just so they’d chill out." Len Goodman awarded the encore to Apolo & Julianne, for their perfect-scoring Paso Doble.

Nelly Furtado was tonight’s musical guest, and pros Tony & Elena danced to Furtado’s hit, "I’m Like a Bird."

The performance was followed by Samantha Harris interviewing a few of the couples backstage. Billy Ray was no longer upset about the judges comments, and he said, "Tonight is a celebration. I’m so happy to be here."

Then, last night’s studio audience offered their own opinions of the performances. That other guy from ‘N Sync had a prediction: "Ian might be in the Bottom Two. I just know that Joey won’t."

The highlight of the night was a brother versus brother dance-off between Maksim and Valentine Chmerkovskiy, accompanied by Karina and (Val’s competition partner) Valeriya Kozharinova. Maks has been Val’s primary coach for most of his life, so watching them dance side-by-side is like watching a couple of clones. The performance was totally entertaining — and Val had better turn pro soon, so that he can join the cast of DwtS.

Then it was time for another performance by Nelly Furtado. Pros Cheryl and Louis danced to a new Furtado song, "All Good Things" (which, despite my husband’s insistence, is not about the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode of the same name).

After announcing that Billy Ray & Karina were in the Bottom Two, Ian & Cheryl were told they were safe. That meant that one of the three teams to have earned a perfect score this season would be in the Bottom Two.

After a taped segment in which the stars talked about how hard it was to see their friends eliminated each week, it was time to find out which one of them was in danger. Laila & Maks and Apolo & Julianne were both safe, leaving Joey & Kym in the Bottom Two.

At that news, all of the couples looked positively confused. Joey & Kym’s drop to the Bottom Two should be a wake up call for all of the remaining dancers. You never know exactly how the fans will vote.

Billy Ray & Karina, who expected to be eliminated, were told they’d be leaving the show. Billy Ray asked the audience to give Karina a round of applause, and then Tom introduced a montage of clips of Billy Ray’s performances. I’m assuming that this will become a regular feature of the Results Show, and wasn’t just a special thing for Billy Ray.

The couple danced their final dance to REM’s "Everybody Hurts" — a song so dreadfully melancholy it wasn’t as ironically humorous as most of the Results Show outro songs.

With the semifinals looming closer, the heat is on for each of the remaining couples to secure their spot on the dance floor. Once again the stars had to deliver two brand new dance routines, first Ballroom, then Latin. Several of the pairs had a difficult time trying to please the entire judging panel and opted to entertain the fans instead. Here’s my take on Week 8 of DwtS.

CATCH US IF YOU CAN

Apolo & Julianne

Another golden evening for the popular Olympian. Last week’s negative judges’ comments motivated Apolo to return to the dance floor as an even stronger and more determined competitor. Week 8’s double whammy performances definitively confirmed that Apolo is more than up to the challenge. There is no way that this Olympic athlete is prepared to concede his top spot without a fight.

Apolo’s Tango was intense, sharp and flawlessly executed. From my perspective, his floor coverage and footwork were exceptional, and the routine was jam packed with complex content. Julianne’s choreography was electric. I marvelled at how she managed to incorporate so many exciting steps into their number and at how Apolo executed them with such synchronization and polish. In my opinion, Len was totally off-base with his criticisms. I thought this routine was the best Ballroom dance of the night!

Apolo’s Latin routine, the Paso Doble, was dramatic, intense and totally deserving of a high score (maybe not perfect, though). The dance was full of energetic content, aggressive floor coverage and sharp movements.

Julianne is a master at designing routines that showcase Apolo’s quick footwork and excellent timing. He has certainly transformed himself into a competent ballroom dancer. Apolo’s consistently superior performances must be giving his competitors a goatee-ache!

Joey & Kym
A well-timed shift into turbodrive by the N’Sync showman. Joey continues to maintain his pace with the pack leaders. This week he delivered two solid, entertaining, and challenging routines that placed him in an ideal position to zoom across the finish line.

Joey’s Waltz was elegant, technically solid and chock full of content. I loved it, even though I broke out in a grin partway through, when the number almost verged on becoming cheesy. Once again Kym choreographed a lovely routine that fit Len’s desire for a no tricks, straight-up, professional performance. Joey’s execution was flawless, his floor coverage excellent, and his chemistry with Kym just short of perfection. Unfortunately, Bruno and Carrie Ann missed Joey’s razzle-dazzle touch. I thought the duo delivered exactly what they promised and deserved 9s across the board.

Joey’s Mambo was packed with intricate moves, clever underarm turns, and razzle-dazzle choreography. What a sharp contrast to his prim and proper ballroom routine! I thoroughly enjoyed this number. It was fun, fast and funky with lots of hip shaking thrown in the mix.

Joey’s relaxed attitude on the dance floor (thanks to his N’Sync roots) translates to an entertaining performance for the audience. Joey is clearly as committed as Apolo to being the first one to cross the finish line. However, unlike Carrie Ann, I don’t believe that he already has it in the bag!

Laila & Maks
A theatrical combination from the Last Woman Standing. Laila’s Week 8 routines clearly leaned more towards the entertainment spectrum than the purist dance one. Unfortunately, Maks’ interpretations cut valuable dance content from his choreography, in favour of viewer appeal. The judges did not appreciate his efforts, but the studio audience seemed receptive enough.

Laila’s Waltz was the epitome of elegance. It was classy, poignant and told a story from its dreamlike beginning to its touching ending. Laila’s extended hand kiss to her father, halfway through the number, was seamlessly built into the dance and provided us with a profound DwtS moment.

While the routine was beautifully executed and showed lovely rising and falling movement across the floor, I have to agree with Len that Maks wasted some valuable time by not including more content at the beginning or conclusion of the dance. Still, Joey and Apolo have been guilty of similar choices, without suffering excessively harsh penalties. Laila’s across-the-board 9s demonstrated that the judges’ critical comments were not unduly reflected in their scoring.

Laila’s Jive was fast, fun and spunky. In keeping with their more theatrical theme for Week 8, Maks opted to tell a story with his choreography. I thought the number was cute, clever and comically entertaining. There was lots of fancy footwork, quick kicks, and brazen playing to the audience.

Laila looked relaxed and well prepared, performing her steps with a natural ease that Ian would do well to emulate. Better Laila as a role model than Billy Ray! For once, I thought the judges’ scores were exactly right. This pair definitely deserves to advance to the semi-finals.

FAILURE TO LAUNCH

Ian & Cheryl
A less-than-perfect combination from the Beverly Hills 90210 perfectionist. Ian still didn’t look comfortable on the dance floor. Despite his luminous smile, he appeared stiff, his routines lacked authenticity, and he was unable to forge a tangible connection with his partner. With only five couples remaining, Ian is in serious danger of being derailed.

Ian’s Fox Trot was entertaining but lacked the smoothness that the judges were seeking. He seemed overly self-aware, his arm movements were underextended, his floor work was skippy, and his footwork was slightly off. I found the routine somewhat slow in spots and felt that he was forcing rather than feeling his character.

I did, however, notice that Cheryl filled the entire musical selection with dancing content. There were no gimmicks, walking together intros or walking apart endings that some of the other pairs throw in as filler to reduce the length of their routines. I thought Ian’s marks were rather low, considering the quality of the dance that he delivered and the scores that Billy Ray’s Mambo received.

Ian’s Latin number, the Rumba, was solid but average. Again, Ian failed to exhibit the passion and intensity crucial for realistic interplay with his partner. While his hip action was good, his footwork was competently executed and the pair’s poses showed lovely lines, the dance lacked naturalness that Ian needed to effectively connect with the audience. Instead Ian was rather stiff, his arm movements lacked extension and he seemed to overthink the steps.

Regrettably, Ian is just not in the same league as the top three contenders. And, at this point, I don’t expect him to pull through and complete the final circuit.

Billy Ray & Karina
Two more dreadful routines from the Crazy Bear. The time for Billy Ray’s hibernation has definitely arrived! Let’s face it — Hanna Montana’s dad cannot dance! No matter how much positive visualization he indulges in, the goods are just not there.

Even Bruno has turned against Billy Ray — in a boldly insensitive manner. I would sooner see the judges award the scores that the routines deserve rather than verbally demean the celebrities. Bruno crossed the line with Billy Ray by labeling what he did as "crap." While I may find his dancing appalling, Billy Ray deserved more respect than was conveyed by Bruno’s description.

The best thing about Billy Ray’s Foxtrot was the music. His delivery of the routine lacked content, rhythm, smoothness, and proper technique. According to Len, Billy Ray did everything the exact opposite of what was conventionally acceptable: he went up instead of down, used his heels instead of his toes, and danced the right steps at the wrong time. A good portion of the dance, Billy Ray spent walking around the floor, and another substantial portion was taken up with Karina dancing circles around him. The judges should have awarded him the 4s he deserved. This routine was scored way too high!

Billy Ray’s Mambo was almost painful to watch. His hip action was terrible; his footwork was awkward, with no rhythmic content; and his arm movements were simply sloppy. I could find no entertaining elements in his performance whatsoever.

Yet again, the judging panel opted to further this celebrity’s delusion by awarding him higher scores than his dancing deserved. Still, in some small way, I begrudgingly admire Billy Ray for having the courage to show up week after week and complete his simplistic routines. I just hope that Week 8 marks his last installment.

DwtS News
Here are links to two reports from backstage at last night’s Dancing with the Stars Performance Show: one from TV Guide and one from People.

In his TV Guide Celebrity Blog, Ian Ziering encouraged his fans to vote for Billy Ray Cyrus, in the event that he and Cheryl Burke are kicked off tonight.

Show dates have been announced for the Dancing with the Stars summer tour. It looks as if they’ll be stopping in places they missed last time, and avoiding some major cities like L.A., New York, and Chicago. So far, the cast consists of pros Cheryl, Edyta, and Louis, and celebs Drew Lachey, Joey Lawrence, and Joey McIntyre — all of whom were also involved in the last tour.

DwtS By The Numbers
Islandia55 at Dance-Forums.com has taken the time to calculate the average length of the routines each week, and if you think the dances seem shorter this season, you’re right. According to this chart, last night’s routines averaged only 1:11 minutes long, as opposed to 1:40 at this point last season.

Further, Islandia55 subtracted the time Laila Ali spent with her head on a pillow during her Waltz to find that she only danced for 45 seconds during that routine. Total time spent dancing in a 90 minute show — 12 minutes.

More DwtS By The Numbers
Just to give you some idea of what it’ll take for your favorite couple to move on to Week 9, we’ve got the percentage of points (out of 251 total awarded) that each couple received from the judges last night:

• Apolo & Julianne: 23%  (58 of the 251 points)
• Joey & Kym: 22% (55 out of 251)
• Laila & Maks: 21% (53 out of 251)
• Ian & Cheryl: 19% (47 out of 251)
• Billy Ray & Karina: 15% (38 out of 251)

So, to avoid elimination, Billy Ray will need at least 4% more of the audience vote than Ian & Cheryl — or more, if he has to climb over one of the other couples, instead.

The top three couples look to be pretty safe, but a surprise dip into the Bottom Two would help predict the final three. If Ian & Cheryl escape the Bottom Two this week, they have a good shot at the finals, as it would seem they’ve got a big enough fanbase to bolster their scores over at least one other frontrunner. (Then again, people may just vote for Ian this week as a means of ensuring BRC goes home.)

However, should one of the top four couples go home tonight and Billy Ray escapes the Bottom Two altogether, I’d still expect BRC to go home next week, instead of whatever couple survives the red spotlight. Billy Ray will likely have to make up even more ground in votes (fewer couples means bigger gaps in scoring percentages), and he probably won’t enjoy the same boost he may be getting as a result of those in the audience who are mad about the judges’ treatment of him this week.

Renewal Season
It’s that time of year when networks announce which shows will be back in the fall. Gilmore Girls is out. Blood Ties and Medium are in. And things are looking better for Veronica Mars.

Yahoo!TV has an interesting article about shows that flopped in the States but became hits overseas — including Ireland’s love affair with Blind Justice, starring Ron Eldard as a blind cop.