It’s the final week of Rock Star: Supernova, and, in my opinion, the show lasted one week too long. With a brand new episode of Dancing with the Stars on tonight, there was little incentive to (re-)watch performances of the rockers’ original songs from last week.

Dilana
got the honor of introducing Ryan as the winner of the fans’ choice
encore, and he sang his original, “Back of Your Car.” As the winner, he
received a Honda CRV and a Verizon Chocolate phone. And Brooke plugged
Ryan’s new album, “Dark Horse,” available on the Rock Star website.

Toby – “Karma Police” by Radiohead
Toby
sounded okay, but the performance was probably more meaningful to
people who were already fans of the song. I don’t care for Radiohead,
so this didn’t do it for me. Then Magni played guitar on Toby’s
original.

Dave loved the Radiohead song and the original, and
Tommy said, “Nice job.” Gilby said Toby lost it on the early melody of
the Radiohead song, but finished strong. Jason said Toby’s performance
generated a lot of energy.

Lukas – “Fix You” by Coldplay
Lukas
is finally starting to open up his voice on prettier songs. He stumbled
about the stage in Lukas fashion, knocking over his mic stand. The
House Band sounded perfect behind him. Then he played his original
acoustically — giving the audience its best shot at understanding the
lyrics.

After the set, Dave pointed out his alter ego from American Idol,
Paula Abdul, who was in the audience. Tommy said Lukas’s performance
was, “Wow, cool as hell.” Gilby called Lukas fearless. Then, plugging
Thursday’s Survivor: Cook Islands premiere, also on CBS, Dave said, “Grab your torch. Head back to camp.”

Dilana – “Roxanne” by The Police
She can hit all of the notes of this song, which is a first for a contestant on Rock Star.
But she stripped things down and took all of the rock out of the song
— a disappointment, since my favorite part of the song is the drum
fill leading into the chorus. Magni, Toby, and Lukas sang backup for
her. Funny that she decided to perform a song about encouraging a
hooker not to turn tricks, while dressed like a hooker herself. Then
she performed her original.

Dave said he loved her 1000 times
more after tonight, and Tommy was similarly impressed. Jason requested
matching outfits for her backup singers, as well as some choreography.

Magni – “Hush” by Deep Purple
Finally, a rock song. The band actually got to have fun with one of the covers tonight. Magni’s original followed.

Dave
said, “You put on a great set, now the cards are gonna fall where they
may.” That’s executive producer code for, “You’re doomed.” Tommy said
that, unlike the other rockers’ songs, he didn’t remember anything
about Magni’s original. Jason said he dug Magni’s original, and Gilby
said Magni sang great and performed well.

Early Results:
1st – Dilana
2nd – Toby
3rd – Lukas
4th – Magni

My vote went to Magni. I don’t want him to win, but he doesn’t deserve to be first off tomorrow night either.

The four remaining rockers were sentimental about the end of their journey in the final reality episode of Rock Star: Supernova. Although not sentimental enough to skip some pointless, last-minute bickering.

At
dinner following Storm’s departure, Magni, Toby, Dilana, and Lukas all
said they would miss living with Storm. Then they marveled over the
fact that one of them would become Supernova’s singer in a matter of
days.

Magni tried to quietly appreciate the gravity of their
situation by playing the piano, and Dilana hopped over to sit beside
him. Puckish Toby couldn’t resist the opportunity to exact his messy
congratulations on Magni for singing with Supernova that night. Toby
slipped Dilana a frosting-laden piece of cake, which she shoved into
Magni’s face as he played.

The rockers were surprised the next
day by MiG, last season’s elfin Aussie contestant. MiG handed Toby a
set of keys to a new Honda Element, and then MiG jumped in and out of
the car, prompting Toby to call him “a funny little man with painted-on
jeans.”

MiG stuck around to remind the gang of the sobering fact
that three of them would not win. Those three need to be prepared to
seize opportunities when they see them, as the exposure from the show
won’t automatically generate multimillion dollar recording deals. MiG
himself finally signed a deal recently, and his album will be out in
January.

After MiG left, Lukas admitted that he stopped
listening as soon as MiG talked about the possibility of losing. Lukas
said he showed up to win, and that is his only option. Then Toby
gleefully said, “I got a fucking car,” and everyone was back in high
spirits.

The gang went into the song selection room where they
discovered that four of the pictures on the walls had been replaced
with shots of them performing. There was close up of Magni screaming
into a mic, and a long shot of Dilana in her hoodie on week 1. The shot
of Toby featured him surrounded by the girls he dragged on stage a few
weeks ago. He shocked Magni when he pointed to a girl and identified
her as Ashley from Melbourne, prompting Magni to wonder, “How the hell
do you know that?”

Toby and Magni took a special pleasure in
critiquing Lukas picture, taken when he performed “Creep.” He was
making a face that Toby described as “humanly impossible,” with his
lips puckered and smooshed up against his nose. Lukas remarked, “I look
like the Predator. What are my lips doing?”

When it came time
for song selection, the rockers received a note instructing them to
choose any song that’s been performed this season, including Bottom
Three songs, or one of four new tracks. In addition to the cover song,
the rockers will reprise their originals.

So while the season premiere of Dancing with the Stars enters its second hour of brand new performances, Rock Star
will be rehashing four performances we’ve heard before (twice already
in Lukas’s and Toby’s cases). Not a good move. I’m sure I won’t be the
only one taping Rock Star in favor of DWTS.

Searching
the huge stack of previously performed songs gave the rockers a chance
to reflect on those who went before them, a technique Mark Burnett uses
in the final episode of each season of Survivor. Magni found Matt’s ill-fated Duran Duran song, and all agreed it was best left on the pile.

One
of the new songs was “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd, and, despite
having dozens of songs to choose from, both Lukas and Dilana decided
that they needed that song. Lukas made the point that he gave Dilana
what she wanted last week, so she should do him the same favor.

But,
just like last week, all it took was someone suggesting a challenging
alternative for Lukas to give in. “Fix You” by Coldplay was another of
the new songs, and Lukas’ initial reluctance to perform a second
Coldplay song gave way to the challenge of making it better than the
first.

So Dilana got her song and everyone was happy. That is,
until she changed her mind and decided that she’d rather sing
“Roxanne.” She offered “Comfortably Numb” back to Lukas, but he
declined.

Dilana, who performed “Every Breath You Take” a few
weeks back, practiced her new choice with Magni before exclaiming, “I
can’t believe I’m doing two Sting songs!” Somewhere, Stewart Copeland
and Andy Summers asked, “Hey, what about us?”

At rehearsal with
the House Band, Lukas said that “Fix You” reminded him of his
relationship with his absent father. If Lukas wins, Supernova’s first
album will be titled “Family Therapy.”

Dilana
went into her rehearsal session knowing that all she had to do was
leave “Roxanne” alone, and she’d avoid the fate Chris suffered for his
disastrous rearrangement. But then Dilana ignored her own advice and
decided to “strip things down,” leaving guitarist Raphael hiding his
face in his hands.

As always, band leader Paul voiced the
opinion of the masses: “It’s perplexing that she would’ve chosen the
song, and then chosen to do it the way she’s doing it. I don’t
particularly care for it, personally. But she likes it.”

Dilana
went preemptively on the defensive: “If I get crucified for doing this
song, then whoever crucifies me needs their head read, because I think
it’s stunning the way I’m doing it.” Then she was shown singing and
screwing up the first word–the very title–of the song: “Roxanna.”

Dilana should’ve been eliminated for butchering a classic song by Cheap Trick, but instead, Supernova booted Storm off of Rock Star.

The
show started with an announcement that Brooke is pregnant with a baby
girl. And Tommy and Dave wasted no time hitting on the embryo.

Viewers
were then shown a montage of the original songs performed last night.
In the studio, Dilana sat on the rockers’ mini-stage, holding a new
pair of crutches decorated with artificial flowers.

Dave tried
to ask Toby about his performance from the previous night, but Toby’s
answer was repeatedly interrupted by (presumably young) screaming
girls. Toby said, “Thank you, girls. In ten years.” Then, Supernova
chose Magni to sing with them.

Magni – “It’s All Love” by Supernova
The
song was totally forgettable adult contemporary alt-rock. This would be
featured on one of those radio station that still plays The Spin
Doctors a few times a week. Aside from a couple falsetto bits, the
vocals had such a narrow range that it was impossible to tell anything
about Magni’s voice from the performance — which is too bad, since we
know Magni can sing.

After letting us know that each of the
rockers had arrived at elimination show in a new Honda Element, Brooke
listed many fabulous features of this year’s model. She must really
like that car! Also, by sheer coincidence, we learned that the winner
of tonight’s encore would get to keep the Element they rode in on.

Before
announcing the encore winner, Gilby gave an update on the Supernova
tour itinerary. Dave’s band, Panic Channel, will be joining the House
Band as Supernova’s opening acts. Then, Jason declared Toby the winner
of the encore and the Honda. No word on if they’ll be switching the
steering wheel to the opposite side for tooling around Australia.

Toby – “Throwin’ It All Away” by Toby
Toby
dedicated his song to the memory of fellow Aussie, Crocodile Hunter
Steve Irwin. For a second night in a row, Raphael got to go nuts on his
guitar solo. Metal bands always sell out huge venues in Raphie’s native
Brazil, so this must have been a dream week for him.

Immediately
after winning a car and an encore, Brooke announced that Toby spent
some time in the Bottom Three during the course of voting. But so had
everyone else. The final Bottom Three was as follows:

Storm – “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd
Storm
needed to rock. Instead, she performed a song being simultaneously
played in coffee houses across the country by hundreds of guys who’ve
just learned how to play acoustic guitar. Her voice sounded beautiful,
and she dedicated it to her mom and started to cry. Jason was crying as
well.

Dilana – “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick
Nooooooo!
Dilana sped up the song dramatically, and then couldn’t keep up with
the rhythm, making it sound like a polka. She concentrated so hard on
hopping on her one good leg that she screwed up all of the words.
Having just seen Cheap Trick perform this song on Sunday, Dilana’s
performance was an absolute joke.

Lukas – “Headspin” by Lukas Rossi
Jason
said that he was surprised to see Lukas at the bottom. Taking full
advantage of the national television exposure, Lukas performed his
original song again. His enunciation was a little better tonight, or
else I’m getting better at understanding him through repeated exposure.
I can only imagine how many lyrics I would have picked up if he’d
gotten the encore, too.

Gilby said that Storm’s been changing up
her performances, but she’s been in the Bottom Three several times. He
said that Dilana’s been the one to watch so far, but, being in the
Bottom Three, “that’s a rough one.” Gilby told Lukas he was safe and
sent him back with Toby and Magni.

Tommy professed his love for
both of the women (for all women, really), then handed his mic to Jason
to do the actual dismissal. Jason said the band respects both women as
“comrades in rock.” Then he sent Storm home, thanking her for lighting
up the stage every week.

Dave told Storm that he could’ve chosen
to play with any of the rockers this season, and he’d picked her. Dave
promised to play guitar on a recording of her original song. Tommy said
he wanted to play drums, and Jason volunteered to play bass. Storm
called her new band Rock Star: Stormnova. Echoing Ryan’s words from
last week, Storm promised that we’d see her again.

Original song night on Rock Star: Supernova put the rockers in
their comfort zones, and the performances benefited from it. Toby,
Lukas, and Storm just made Supernova’s final decision a little more
difficult.

Brooke started the show by encouraging Ryan’s
disappointed fans not to despair. Ryan’s got the top three music
downloads on MSN music, so his solo career seems off to a promising
start. After showing footage from the reality show, Brooke introduced
Dilana, the first of the evening’s rockers to perform an original song,
as well as the requisite cover tune.

Dilana – “Behind Blue Eyes” by The Who
Dilana
tore a calf muscle during rehearsal, so she spent the majority of her
performance seated on a stool. She finally used the pretty voice she’s
been hiding under her smoky growl. It would’ve been nice if she’d used
it a little more liberally throughout the season.

Dilana’s Original -“Supersoul”
The
verse sounded just like Nirvana’s “Heart Shaped Box.” She used
childish-sounding rhymes to sing about how strong she is, and how she’s
not scared even though she’s small. It showcased the same problem she
had during the songwriting clinic: writing lyrics that are too literal
and specific.

Comedian Dave Navarro said that, vocally, you’d
never know Dilana had torn a calf muscle. Dave didn’t like her
original, but Tommy Lee did. Gilby Clarke said that her lyrics
over-explain everything in detail, and that she should use more
imagination when writing.

After returning from the commercial
break, Brooke announced that the House Band will open for Supernova on
their tour. Some of the losing rockers will perform their best songs
from the show. I might be willing to pay $45/ticket to listen to the
House Band and not have to hear Supernova play.

Magni – “Back in the USSR” by The Beatles
Magni did a fine job, but the House Band stole the show with their “hoo-hoo-hoo” backing vocals.

Magni’s Original -“When the Time Comes”
He
said that he just translated his song from Icelandic to English.
Apparently, the same words rhyme in both languages. Musically, it was a
pretty straightforward rock song. It wasn’t bad, but not particularly
memorable.

Tommy said that both songs seemed kind of the same,
and he asked Magni why. Magni replied, “Because both of those songs
were sung by me.”

“Oh, that’s why!” laughed Tommy. Gilby said that Tommy had a point; Magni should’ve kicked things up a notch for his original.

Storm – “Suffragette City” by David Bowie
Dave
interrupted Brooke as she introduced the song and asked if he could
play guitar on the song. Storm asked, “Are you kidding me? Get your ass
up here.” Storm might be the best David Bowie cover singer out there.
During Dave’s guitar solo, Storm yelled, “Oh, David!”

Storm’s Original – “Ladylike”
Creepy
and atmospheric, this was the most original of the original songs. The
chorus was really heavy, and I’ll bet the uncensored version (she
changed some words for TV) sounds great. This was Storm’s best
performance since “Anything, Anything.”

Dave said performing
with Storm felt like performing with some of the greatest singers he’s
ever played with. He said that her original was his favorite from both
seasons. Tommy said the original was, “Vvvvvrrgh,” while Gilby
described it as more, “Mmmrrgh.” Then Storm kissed Brooke on the lips,
in a clip that should be on YouTube in 3…2…1.

Lukas – “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi
Lukas
played guitar, accompanied only by Paul on keyboard. They turned the
song into the first Bon Jovi goth dirge. Lukas sang the opening verse
quietly, emphasizing the dire circumstances of Tommy and Gina. If you
weren’t listening to the lyrics you’d never recognize the song. In
fact, since the lyrics were pretty much incomprehensible, I’m not sure
I did recognize the song. Still, somehow, it worked.

Lukas’s Original – “Headspin”
This
song also started out quietly and was a little slow tempo throughout,
but it got pretty loud during the chorus. Lukas lurched about the stage
in vintage Lukas style, giving a great performance. The House Band
rocked again, with Nate adding some cool drum fills and bassist Sasha
spraying water out of his mouth in Gene Simmons fashion. I wish I could
do that.

Dave praised Lukas for showing his emotional side in
his original song. When he said that it was the kind of song an arena
full of people would hold lighters up for, Gilby pointed out that now
fans hold up cell phones. Dave held up a shaky hand mimicking the
lighter pose, and said in an old man voice, “This kid’s really good.”

Toby – “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers
Toby’s voice sounded FANTASTIC. The song was written to be a crowd-pleaser, and the range was perfect for Toby.

Toby’s Original – “Throw It Away”
This
sounded like a Supernova song, only better. The guitar part was
super-fast and oddly reminiscent of Iron Maiden — fitting since Toby
runs around as much as Bruce Dickinson. And he sang perfectly whilst
running around.

Dave said the song was instantaneously memorable
and noted that the crowd had been singing along with Toby. Supernova
was also impressed.

Instead of announcing the early bottom three, Brooke announced the early voting order for all contestants:

1st – Toby
2nd – Lukas
3rd – Magni
4th – Storm
5th – Dilana

My
vote went to Toby. He sounded great on both songs and put on a high
energy show. If Supernova is a serious band looking for someone with
lots of emotional depth, they should choose Lukas. But if they just
want to rock and have a good time, Toby is their man.

With Supernova so close to choosing their lead singer, they tested the remaining Rock Star contestants’ songwriting skills in this week’s reality episode. If Supernova’s choice comes down to lyric writing, Dilana and Magni are in a lot of trouble.

After returning from the elimination show, the rockers toasted Ryan, and then smashed cake and sprayed champagne in each others faces. Everyone jumped into the pool to rinse off, which means they’re not responsible for cleaning the pool.

Then the rockers received a new Supernova song. Each had one day to write a melody and lyrics for the new track, which sounded heavier and less poppy than Supernova’s previous tunes.

Everyone got right to work, but Dilana was stuck after taking so many ego blows recently. Her sub-par performance of “Psycho Killer” in her first trip to the Bottom Three the night before made it even harder to focus on cranking out a new song.

The next day, Gilby Clarke worked separately with each of the contestants on their new songs. Storm was up first. Gilby liked what she’d written all right, but he enjoyed working with her even more. He appreciated not only her professionalism, but also her willingness to just have fun. She described working with Gilby as “laid back and easy.”

Magni confessed to Gilby that he was nervous about his English skills when it came to writing lyrics, but admitted to the camera that “90% of rock n’ roll lyrics have the same vocabulary, the same cliches.” Gilby was disappointed in the lyrics Magni presented and worked on “coloring them up.”

In true slacker style, Lukas wrote only one verse and chorus. Gilby said that, “melodically, it was excellent,” but was irritated that Lukas showed up without having done all of the work he was supposed to. Gilby said that Lukas “feels that this is his to lose,” which is why he’s not putting forth his full effort.

By contrast, Toby’s song was the “most complete,” according to Gilby. He stressed that Supernova wasn’t looking to hire a “puppet,” and he liked the fresh, youthful energy that Toby brought to their music.

Dilana, who’d written a lyrically embarrassing song in an earlier clinic, made the mistake of venting her current personal frustrations through the lyrics of this new Supernova song. Thematically, it dealt with strangers judging you harshly, specifically by voting on the internet. Not exactly a problem most of us can relate to, unless you’re an ugly cat at kittenwar.com.

Gilby said that Dilana’s writing was “a little cliche…I could’ve almost predicted what she was going to say.” When he told her that writing about laptop screens was too literal, Dilana suggested changing the words to “control-alt-delete.” Gilby said that, when it comes to lyrics, “it didn’t seem like she has much of an imagination.”

Dilana admitted to the cameras, “I didn’t realize that the whole songwriting thing was going to be such a big issue. I honestly auditioned for this to be the singer.” Gilby also told the cameras that all successful artists write their own songs, and asked, “If you’re not bringing anything, then what the hell do I need you for?”

At song selection, Dilana and Lukas had a showdown for “Behind Blue Eyes” by The Who. Magni seized the opportunity to goad Lukas into choosing between “Back in the USSR” and “Livin’ on a Prayer.” Since no one wanted anything to do with Bon Jovi, Lukas fell into the trap and said he’d be the one contestant who could make it rock. Within a few seconds, he realized what he’d done and muttered, “I’m screwed.”

In addition to singing one of the posted songs this week, each rocker will also perform an original song. That means that Dilana will perform at least one song she’s familiar with. In rehearsal with the House Band, she admitted that she’d only ever heard the Limp Bizkit cover of “Behind Blue Eyes.” So, she decided to rearrange the song — since the original Who version sounded “too country.” Band leader Paul worried that Dilana was changing the song “from a position of ignorance.”

Dilana’s gamble might still pay off, despite the fact that she changed the words to, “No one knows what it’s like to be the bad girl.” She could be safe, as long as she doesn’t perform this song, too:

After the best Performance Episode of the season, the performances on tonight’s Rock Star: Supernova Elimination Episode had to be great, right? Wrong. And Ryan was finally given a reason for his perpetual frown.

Brooke
Burke introduced clips from last night’s show, including footage filmed
at the house afterward. The contestants toasted each other’s
performances and talked about the fact that, despite such a good night,
half of them would still end up in the Bottom Three.

Back in the
theater, Dave asked Storm why she’s disappointed that she hasn’t been
in the Bottom Three yet. She said she’s eager to rock any chance she
gets.

Then, Dave asked Magni about the InTouch photoshoot
earlier in the week, and Magni said he hated it. As Dave told Magni how
photoshoots are part of the business, Magni interrupted repeatedly.
Finally, Dave said this was his show and joked, “When I said I didn’t
have any influence over the votes, I lied, you son of a bitch!” Magni
waved and said, “Good-bye,” to the crowd.

Supernova then debuted another new song, this time with Lukas at the helm.

Lukas – “It’s On” by Supernova
This
was by far the best song that they’ve presented thus far, and by that I
mean that it was the least bad. Lukas did a great job, even if I
couldn’t make out a single word he sang. More than Toby or Dilana,
Lukas had enough swagger to seem like a part of the band, and not like
someone trying out for the gig. And he fits right in with fellow
shrimps Gilby and Jason.

As this weeks encore approached, Gilby
spilled the beans on next week’s clinic: he’s going to help each of the
remaining contestants write a new Supernova song. Then he asked Toby to
perform an encore of “Rebel Yell.”

Toby – “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol
Toby
changed up his performance by jumping on the contestants mini-stage
before following Tommy’s advice to Magni from the performance show:
heading to the back of the theater to hang out with those fans. Toby
rocked there for a while before hopping on and off of Supernova’s
stage. He sounded about the same as he did in his original performance,
which was good.

Brooke announced the early Bottom Three results
from last night: Ryan, Storm, and Lukas. Toby and Dilana also spent
time in the Bottom Three during the course of voting, and all five contestants were asked to stand. Apparently,
Magni’s international appeal for votes worked, as he was the only one
left sitting. Brooke pointed out that this was the first time in Rock
Star history that it’s been clear who received the most votes.

Forgetting
simple mathematics and the basic premise of the show, Dave said that no
one should’ve been in the bottom after the quality of last night’s
performances. Brooke countered by announcing this week’s Bottom Three.

Ryan – “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who
“I’m
here to blow your minds right now,” Ryan announced as he took the
stage. And then he did, but not in a good way. He went berserk,
screaming and spraying champagne onto the crowd before Toby stole the
bottle. Ryan wasted a bunch of time climbing a stack of amps, only to
jump off of them, screaming as though he were falling off a cliff. He
unintelligibly and tunelessly screamed the lyrics throughout his fit of
insanity.

If you like Ryan, this was hilariously great. If not, then this was unbearable. Supernova was not impressed.

Storm – “Helter Skelter” by The Beatles
She
cheered when her name was announced, joyously hugging Brooke. Storm
followed Ryan’s lead, screaming the entire song instead of singing it.
She tried to start a mosh pit in the audience before climbing onto
Supernova’s stage and sitting on Tommy’s lap. That one act was more
likely to save her than her performance, which was just as bad as
Ryan’s.

Dilana – “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads
The
crowd booed as she took the stage, some booing Dilana herself, but most
booing the fact that she was in the bottom three. Tommy said he
couldn’t understand what happened to put her there. Dilana said it was
because she’d screwed up, and then dedicated her song to herself. She
started the song a capella, which worked out brilliantly. But she threw
in some bizarre little vocalizations after each chorus and rearranged
the middle of the song. As a whole, it was a mess, and Jason, Tommy,
and Gilby looked confused.

Zayra may be off the show, but it
seemed like she was back in spirit tonight. Three heretofore solid
performers all stunk on the same night–an elimination night, no less.
The performances were bad enough to make Supernova’s song sound awesome
by comparison.

Gilby told Ryan he was great and has really grown
as a performer, warned Storm that she hasn’t grown enough, and told
Dilana that her performance came out of left field. His compliment to
Ryan was a dead giveaway that Ryan was doomed.

Tommy told Ryan
that he’s come farther than any other contestant in nine weeks, but
that he was out anyway. The crowd booed loud and long, and Storm looked
positively pissed. Dave said that he’s a fan of Ryan’s and that he’s
sorry to see Ryan go.

Ryan thanked Dave for his support, and
then became the bitterman that we know and love. He told Supernova that
they could’ve made twenty years of great music together, and that the
next place they’ll see him is on the Billboard charts as a solo artist.

Tommy
was stone faced after getting booed by the crowd and spanked by Ryan.
Each week, Tommy’s made it clear that he hates being the one to drop
the axe, but you have to wonder if the crowd reaction made him doubt
Supernova’s decision to boot Ryan.

Or maybe he was just fighting the urge to beat Ryan’s head like a crash cymbal.

Tonight’s Rock Star: Supernova Performance Episode was
Dilana’s chance to redeem herself for her poor conduct this past week,
and the producers made sure that viewers knew it.

Brooke Burke
introduced a package of clips from last week, followed by the fallout
at the mansion after the elimination show. A replay of Dilana smashing
the glass into the ground showed broken glass hitting Magni in the
cheek as well as the forehead. As Lukas pointed out, Magni was lucky he
wasn’t hit in the eye.

In the theater, Dave gave Dilana a chance
to explain herself. She said, “I love my friends and I’ll never do
anything to hurt them ever again.” It was nice to see her finally
apologize and admit what she’d done was hurtful.

Brooke
then announced that tonight is Fan Selection night, as each song had been bpicked for the singers by viewers. Dave encouraged the
contestants: “No Trainwrecks this week.” Fortunately for all of us, his
wish came true.

Lukas – “Lithium” by Nirvana
In
a pretaped, pre-song interview, Lukas said that he’s a regular guy who
likes video games, basketball, and beer. He just wears more makeup than
other regular guys.

He slowed down the song’s intro, with just
Paul accompanying him on piano, creating a very loungey feel. Paul
played piano throughout the rest of the song and Lukas added a
hesitation before the screaming chorus — a nice variation on the
original grunge version. Very seriously, Dave said, “You took a sacred
Nirvana song and rearranged it? … [pause for effect] … It was
awesome, dude!” Tommy, Gilby, and Jason were all smiles as well.

Magni – “I Alone” by Live
Magni
decided he’d need an international PR campaign to avoid the Bottom
Three this week. He urged Australians, Canadians, and Americans to vote
for him because he’s better looking than their representatives (Toby,
Lukas, and Ryan, respectively). He then pleaded for votes, saying, “I
learned your language. C’mon!”

Magni’s singing was
straightforward, but he mixed up his performance by strutting through
the audience and onto Supernova’s stage, where Tommy tried to grab his
butt. Tommy said he wished Magni would’ve continued all the way to the
back of the theater, but Magni pointed out that there’s no lighting
back there, and he wanted to make sure he looked good.

Ryan – “Clocks” by Coldplay
Ryan
started the song seated at a piano, where he struggled to hit some
early falsetto notes. But he soon kicked over his bench and jumped atop
the piano as the house band kicked in. Vocally, he aimed for something
a little heavier than Chris Martin, screaming the high notes instead of
cooing them, and it worked. After bounding around the stage, Ryan
returned to the piano near the end just so he could crawl back on top
of it.

Dave praised the excitement that Ryan brings to the
stage, and Gilby said he enjoyed the performance. Jason earned a round
of boos from the audience when he told Ryan that he looks uncomfortable
and “loses the plot” when he’s not behind a piano. As he usually is
after Ryan performs, Tommy was silent — which tells you everything you
need to know about Ryan’s chances at winning this thing.

Storm – “Bring Me to Life” by Evanescence
When
Storm learned that this was her song earlier in the week, she panicked.
Her voice is much lower than the light, high register the song
requires. Like Ryan, she started slowly, her voice wavering as she sang
the opening verse. But once the first chorus hit, Storm could belt the
song out, and her tone added a nice depth and weight to the song. Toby
jumped onstage to offer some backing vocals, and did a good enough job
that he was at risk of stealing the performance.

Dave loved
everything about the song, but Gilby said the performance was
forgettable. Jason said that effort counts for everything, and Storm
brought it.

Toby – “Rebel Yell” by Billy Idol
“Rebel
Yell” was a particularly appropriate song for a guy who takes out his
frustration by smashing cake into Ryan’s face and running around naked.
It’s the most Toby song imaginable, and he went all Toby on it,
throwing in one of his typical gimmicks. He dragged several juvenile
girls from the front row onstage, where they jumped and screamed. He
then made sure to hug all of them when the song was finished.

The
whole thing was a lot of fun, and Toby sang well. It didn’t hurt that
the house band was brilliant. Jim brought out his Flying-V guitar, and
Raphael’s wicked solos would put Billy Idol guitarist Steve “Top Gun
Theme” Stevens to shame. Supernova loved the whole experience.

Dilana – “Mother Mother” by Tracy Bonham
Dilana
earned some points for bringing out her own her own Flying-V.
Eventually, she dropped the guitar, climbed on an amp, and slung her
leg over bassist Sasha’s shoulder. She sounded very good — apart from
the chorus, when her voice sounded like a car trying to start on a cold
day in winter.

Dave said it was his favorite performance from both season’s of Rock Star,
and Gilby loved it, too. Referring to Dilana’s rough week, Tommy said
that he’s the king of mistakes, and the key for Dilana is not to make
the same ones twice.

Early Bottom Three:
Storm
Ryan
Lukas

My vote went to Toby, since his performance was the most fun.

It’s going to take an editing miracle to save Dilana’s reputation after this week’s Rock Star: Supernova Reality Episode.

At the mansion following the Elimination Episode where Dilana’s trash talking was revealed (oh, and Patrice was eliminated), the customary post-show dinner was uncomfortably silent. Storm tried to lighten the mood by toasting “Dilana’s first spanking.”

Dour Dilana wasn’t having it. She grumbled, “I don’t want to toast to it. I feel like everything I say is just taken the wrong way anyway.” Evidently, Dilana rationalized the events of that evening — and what she’d said to trigger those events — so that she, not the friends she’d publicly badmouthed, was the victim.

Ryan, who confessed that he wasn’t actually mad about it, summed up why it was in Dilana’s best interest to keep her negative opinions of others to herself: “What you say about me doesn’t affect me, it affects you.”

But Dilana was on a defensive roll that couldn’t be stopped by a pesky thing like reason, as was evident in an exchange she had with Lukas and Toby:

Dilana: “I was under the impression that it was a clinic, and I didn’t know if I was supposed to speak my mind…”

Lukas: “Life is a constant clinic, man. You shouldn’t change just ’cause it’s a clinic.”

Dilana: “That’s why I didn’t change, because I was being myself. I was being honest.”

Toby: “I don’t know which scares me more: you being honest about what you said, or what made you feel that way in the first place.”

Dilana ignored Toby’s comment, not telling him exactly why she thinks that he’s just along for the ride, and continued defending herself. “I’m just a person with flaws. I’m not perfect. I need to learn to speak without just being so straightforward and honest. I’m 34 years old and this is how I’ve been all my life.” She left the table as she started to cry.

What Dilana seems to be forgetting is that, if she was always speaking the negative things she was thinking, she would have no friends at all. If she’d told Magni in week two or three, “I don’t think you want this badly enough to leave your family in Iceland,” or Toby, “I think you’re just along for the ride,” they’d have no reason to be friends with her. Yet they are.

You earn friends by being nice. Every 34-year-old knows that. Heck, most 8-year-olds know that. It was only when Dilana got caught saying mean things that she resorted to the “I was just being honest” defense — which never works, by the way.

Dilana sat by the pool with Lukas, feeling “weak and vulnerable,” but not sorry. Magni approached her for a hug at the same time as cameras moved in for a closer shot. Dilana noticed the cameras and ran into the mansion, pushing Magni away and smashing a glass on the ground for dramatic effect.

A piece of broken glass bounced up and hit Magni in the forehead, leaving a bloody gash. Undaunted, Dilana stomped through the house, winding up in her bedroom where Storm held her as she wheezed sobs from her smoke-damaged lungs.

Ryan tended to Magni’s injury while the rest of the guys tried to make sense of Dilana’s self-destruction. Lukas wondered, “If you can’t handle the stress of this situation, how can you handle the stress of performing every day, or the stress of holding a band together? I would honestly be thinking about that if I were the band.”

Toby’s thoughts on Dilana were more in line with Dave Navarro’s “What the hell were you thinking?” comment from the elimination episode. “I don’t get it,” Toby said. “She’s had one of the sweetest rides here.”

The following day, the rockers took part in a photoshoot for InStyle magazine. Storm, Toby, and Lukas handled the situation just fine, jumping on couches and posing atop tables as if it were part of their daily routines.

Ryan and Magni had a harder time relaxing in front of the cameras. The photographer futilely tried to get Ryan to smile. And Magni struggled to display his rock prowess when not actually rocking. The photographer told him to scream, and when Magni did, the photographer clarified, “Without screaming.”

Dilana was depressed after the previous evening and wasn’t in a mood to cooperate, initially. When the photographer encouraged her to pose by asking, “Are you a rock star?” Dilana mumbled like a pouty teenager, “I don’t know. I’m trying to be.” Once she was told that she could stand up and do high kicks, Dilana was back to her old self.

Instead of the usual song selection, the rockers learned which songs the fans had voted for them to perform. Everyone got their wild card song, although not everyone was pleased by that. Ryan worried that his falsetto voice wouldn’t hold up for Coldplay’s “Clocks”.

Lukas had trouble working with the House Band on his song: “Lithium” by Nirvana. When they tried his arrangement, drummer Nate said, “It’s very un-Nirvana like.” Lukas revealed, “Well, I don’t like Nirvana.” Bandleader Paul said that he was much more confident rehearsing the song with Dilana earlier in the season, because she actually liked the song.

Speaking of Dilana, she was eager to redeem herself with a good performance of “Mother Mother” by Tracy Bonham. “I’m not a loser. I’m not a quitter. This horrific thing that happened to me is the best thing that could’ve happened to me.”

Were she honest, Dilana would have rephrased the “horrific thing that happened to me” as the “horrific thing that I brought upon myself.” Not once in the reality episode did she say that she was in the wrong, or even that she’d learned anything from all of this. And, from what we were shown, she didn’t even apologize to Magni for injuring him.

For their own sakes, the members of Supernova shouldn’t pick her. They’d have an easier time babysitting a drunk Toby or Lukas than coddling Dilana, who acknowledges having flaws but won’t take responsibility for them or try to fix them.

At this point in their careers, Tommy, Gilby, and Jason should choose someone whose company they can enjoy, who has a level of professionalism on par with their own, and who won’t give them head wounds. Dilana has shown through her own actions — and not just some trick of editing — that she lacks professionalism. And, at 34, it’s unlikely that she’s going to change anytime soon.

Did Dancing Cause Shanna’s Divorce?
Reportedly, Shanna Moakler’s soon-to-be ex-hubby, Travis Barker, objected to her participating in Dancing with the Stars, which may have been a reason the couple split up. Let’s hope she sticks around long enough to make it worth the divorce.

Early Progress Reports
Now
that they’ve started training, the new cast realizes just what they’ve
gotten themselves into. Here are links to interviews with Monique Coleman, Sara Evans, Tucker Carlson, and Joey Lawrence.

Lisa Rinna, Access Hollywood Correspondent
Lisa Rinna and Stacy London, fashion guru from TLC’s What Not to Wear, are Access Hollywood’s special correspondents for tonight’s Emmy Awards. Their reports from the red carpet will air on Monday’s episode of Access Hollywood.

Weekend Full of Dancing
No plans for Labor Day weekend? You can stay home and watch Tom Bergeron host eight hours of the annual Jerry Lewis Telethon. Or, if you live in the Irvine, California area, head to the Embassy Ball DanceSport Championships to watch former DWTS
pros Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya compete in the World Cup
Open Professional Latin category. Also competing at the Embassy Ball
are Maksim Chmerkovskiy’s younger brother, Valentin, and Abrea and
Averie DelGrosso — Ashly DelGrosso’s sisters.

In a single episode, Dilana went from the hero — and favorite — of Rock Star: Supernova
to its suddenly vulnerable arch-villain. All this on a night when she didn’t even perform.

Brooke Burke kicked off the show with clips of last night’s performances, which flowed into footage from right after the show.

During
dinner at the mansion, Dilana told Ryan, “Tonight, you would’ve been
nothing without the House Band.” She continued putting him down later,
telling Ryan that she’s getting more votes than him because she’s been
good since week one. Magni, who’d been sitting by the pool with Ryan,
told her they were growing as performers each week, while she keeps
doing the same thing. Ryan asked Dilana, “Are you out of ideas?”

Later,
the group looked over some Windows Live Spaces sites created by fans,
one of which suggested that Ryan and Dilana front Supernova together.
Dilana said, “Over my dead body.”

Back at the live footage, Dave
wasn’t happy that Dilana had ripped her fans’ ideas. She said that she
just doesn’t want to share the stage with anyone. Then Dave asked her,
“What would any of you be without the House Band? Are you a
little bit threatened by The Dark Horse (Ryan)?” Dilana coolly replied
that she wasn’t.

Ryan told Dilana that, as the front runner, it
looks bad when she speaks down to the people who trying to catch up to
her. For her own benefit, she should be more positive. Dilana pouted,
as she would for the rest of the show.

During the week, the
contestants rehearsed a new Supernova track with the band. The band
decided Toby was the best man for this song, and so they asked him to
perform with them.

Toby – “Be Yourself and Five Other Cliches” by Supernova
This
turned out to be more of a punishment than a prize for Toby. He sounded
awkward, but I think that it was the song’s fault and not his own. The
only interesting thing about the song was that it was probably the
first time in Jason’s career that he’s ever played something with a
swing beat.

I understand the kind of heavy pop music they’re
trying to make, but it’s just not working. Supernova would be better
off as a Butch Walker cover band.

After the lackluster
performance, Brooke introduced footage from the media clinic that had
been featured in this week’s reality episode. In it, Dilana talked
trash about Toby, Magni, and Lukas. When Lukas told the reporter that
Dilana should mind her own business, the studio audience cheered.

An
incredulous Dave asked Dilana, “What the hell are you thinking? You are
doing so well. You never bag on your peers like that.” Dilana said, in
regard to Lukas, that she was like a mother dove who wanted to take him
under her wing. Lukas interrupted, “I don’t need a dove. I don’t need a
wing.”

Dilana apologized to everyone, but then said, “I’m too
honest, I don’t know how to lie,” as if not answering the reporters
questions wasn’t an option. Lukas said he wasn’t surprised by Dilana’s
actions, and that he’s bigger than that. Dave warned them all to grow
thick skins, especially since whomever wins will always be known as the
singer who won a reality show.

Due to all of the bonus footage
— and to avoid giving Ryan yet another encore (especially for a song
better than Supernova’s) — nobody was asked to reprise a performance from the previous show. Instead, Brooke went striaght into announcing all of the eligible
candidates for this week’s Bottom Three: Patrice, Storm, Toby, and Magni.

Magni – “Fire” by Jimi Hendrix
Jason
shook his head in disbelief when he heard Magni had been un-voted into
the bottom three. But Jason perked up and sang the word, “Awe-some!”
when Magni announced his song. Apparently Magni’s recovered from the
flu, because his performance was sick–not him. He even strapped on a
guitar and joined in on the solos. Supernova made it obvious that Magni
was safe for another week as they cheered through his entire
performance.

Patrice – “Middle of the Road” by The Pretenders
Patrice
took an easy-to-sing, straightforward pop song and rearranged it,
making her voice sound like crap in the process. She sang — as she
often does — with the same near-monotone lilt that bad poets use when
reading at coffeehouse poetry slams. And she accidentally slammed the
mic into her grill and gave herself a bloody lip, which Magni
graciously let her wipe on his shirt. Even before the third performer
was announced, it was obvious Patrice was going home. And she
definitely did not go out on top.

Toby – “Plush” by Stone Temple Pilots
This
was the best thing Toby’s done in a while. He even got some bass in his
voice, for once. Hopefully, he can carry some momentum over into next
week. There was no way that Patrice was going to survive the night
anyway, but Toby’s solid performance ensured it.

Gilby was happy
that Patrice had gotten to share an original song with the world on
Performance Night, but he reminded her that this was her fourth trip to
the Bottom Three. He also warned Magni that this was the second week in
a row at the bottom for him. Then Gilby told Toby it was insane that
the audience had failed to keep him safe.

After taking the mic, Tommy hemmed and hawed and acted as if booting Patrice was
a hard decision. But even she knew it was coming, and after her name
was announced, she graciously thanked the band for what she said was
among the top experiences of her life.

While everyone said their
goodbyes to Patrice, Dilana stood apart from the group, her head
hanging down. Magni finally put a hand on her back, but it could be a
lonely week at the mansion for the (former?) frontrunner.

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